Facing my Demons
“Facing my demons”
Most people who are overweight are that way for a reason, some face their demons, and some turn the other cheek. I have known for years what mine were and maybe putting them out there will be therapeutic.
My demons are
1. Pursuit of Perfection “220 and 10” (Part 1)2. Eating for Comfort (Part 2)
3. Being lazy/Resisting change (Part 3)
Pursuit of perfection (220 and 10)
I know I am not the only one on this sight who has competed in athletics on the collegiate level, and maybe their story is different. Mine is one of my demons.
I played in a system where the coach was obsessed with fitness and body fat. In his mind, he had an idea of what each of our ideal weights/Bf was.
I want to insert a point here that I am not complaining, I endured years of sweat for an education worth over $100K and that was back in the late 90’s. I have et friends whom have positively influenced my life beyond imagination. I am grateful.
Back to my demon.
Any give time our body fat was tested, and we were weighed. Summer, fall, winter, and spring it did not matter. It is not hard to maintain a low weight when you practice 2.5 hours a day and lift for an hour and a half. My weight to maintain over the four years was to be no more than 220 lbs, and no more than 10% BF, the one time I went to 13% BF I was called fat everyday until I was below that level. I was also reminded that a 4-year scholarship does not mean four years. It was renewable at the end of every year. (Read between the lines) We were all obsessed with it, even after we left college. No more exercising 5 hours a day, we were on our own and still obsessed about the pursuit of perfection whatever our numbers were.
I can only speak for myself but I look back at those numbers and I associated them with perfection. Years after college I chased them, and sometimes the pursuit of those numbers got discouraging. I look back at pictures and know that is not me now. I personally do not think it is realistic to be 220 and 6’6’’ at 34 unless I am playing tight-end in the NFL or something.
I think I actually looked thin back then; I was shredded but looked thin. That is not my goal weight anymore. That is not what I see as perfection. It was only after I let go of those numbers (220 and 10) that felt relief, could be realistic, and could set some attainable goals.
My Body Group I started is called “Club Shred”, and that is what I will be again “Shredded”. My goal is to weigh between 240 and 250. At 34 and with my frame I think that is a healthy weight and I know I can maintain it.
It was they letting go of 220 and 10 that allowed me to start my journey.
Demon 1 dealt with.
