For all the haters out there….
Why is it that every time you set a goal for yourself to accomplish you meet challenges and discouragement from people that should be encouraging you? I can see people on the outside world who don’t workout and make excuses for not working out trying to hate because they have little or no confidence in themselves,…or they are just too damn lazy to workout trying to discourage. I just ignore them. But when you have people on sites like this that come in and try to throw all kind of things up at you to change your mind, that just bothers me and totally pisses me off. Someone came on to my page earlier this month trying to basically tell me that i was wasting my time. This guy who had competes himself should have been encouraging instead of hating. He musty be afraid that i am gonna outdo him or something. I don’t know but he has made me work even that much harder. I spent the majority of my life dealing with people who were always telling me what i can’t do. Bad move bro. Now you just unleashed a beast in me that will show you up on here. I’m making sacrifices i’ve never thought i could make to make my point. So while i’m venting, i should be thanking you. You woke up a sleeping giant inside of me. Look people, lets encourage others instead of trying to bring them down. We are all trying to reach specific goals and negativity to others is just shameful and disrespectful. Thank’s guys…now i’m jumping off my soapbox.
December 3, 2008 at 2:08 am
Greetings sir! I hadn’t had much contact with you since you added me as a friend. Thank you again for the add!
I was just reading your blog. In therapy, we call the phenomenon you describe "sabotage." In your case, the people who should be encouraging you are uncomfortable with the changes that you are trying to make and may consciously or unconsciously try to prevent the changes. Because we exist in family and other interconnected networks, what we do can have a profound impact upon others. If you "change," it forces others to look at you and, by extension, themselves in a different manner. It may "convict" them that they need to change OR given the fact that they may be comfortable with themselves, lazy or whatever, they do not wish to change and may find a way to change the nature of their relationship with you. This may occur through discouragement (which may stop some people from changing) or distancing, and/or even terminating the relationship. I’ve seen this happen with many of my clients. A good example is the "heavy girl" with the pretty friend who loses 100 pounds. The pretty friend benefitted from having the heavy friend (e.g. a shield, someone to make her feel pretty, etc.). The heavy girl also may have benefitted from having the "privilege" of having such a pretty friend, but realized, for example, that she wasn’t healthy and had no "genuine" relationships outside of this friendship and wanted to change. This change may discomfit the pretty friend who may take her friend out to eat, shopping, etc. to get her off of her diet and/or exercise plan. I suspect that the same thing can occur with "cyber-friendships."
In general, when one is changing oneself, particularly for the better, one must expect that some people will be uncomfortable with the change. It is important for you to stay the course, find encouraging friends, and accept the fact that when we change, we often lose some "friends." Your true friends, however, will continue to love and support you for who you are. Sorry to blog your blog. I hadn’t stopped by your page in a while. I had been checking out some of your recipes! LOL!
You may find my November 4th and 10th bodyblogs useful. Continue what you are doing and use me as a support if necessary! Plus, post some progress pics. You’d be surprised at where your support may come from. Take care!