WannabBig!’s Blog.

Ok so I’ve been having a few problems of late that I thought I’d share.

Gyno scare! After all I said about having NO gyno issues whatsoever (no tenderness, puffiness, lumps etc) at the end of last week my libido had dropped to virtually 0 so for some godforsaken reason, I decided to ’squeeze’ a nipple - fluid came out! (tiny amount). Obviously I panicked like crazy, I upped my Nolvadex to 60mg for two days and threw down so arimidex too. Well, the Nolva just made the libido worse but the lactation went away. I squeezed again yesterday and a pin-head sized amount came out so it’s not completely gone yet. I shall be seeing my doctor next week, I can’t leave this sort of thing to chance. I’ll be picking up some high-dose Vitamin B6 today to fight the prolactin (which I think is causing the libido and lactation issues), I just hope it’s not too late.

I blame this almost entirely on the M-drol, I shouldn’t have added it at the end of my cycle but I got too greedy for gains and this is what you get. My doc will obviously go mental but at least they’ll do some blood tests to see how I’m recovering.

On a more positive note, my weight is climbing back up again and I’m still getting stronger! Just got to find a decent gym back home now as I’m leaving University this week.

Life is a bit rubbish at the moment: this bloody gyno scare, girlfriend going off to another part of the UK (god knows when I’ll get a chance to see her), money has dried up and all my friends have left University too I can’t wait to go home.

Weight is down… by 4kg!!

I’ve put it down to a few things:

1) Not eating enough - I’m still on 4500kcal (which was holding me steady at 94.5kg), so I’ve boosted it up to a minimum of 4700kcal/day to see if that helps

2) Not enough sleep - BIG one, I’ve just finished my MSc so this week was hell for sleep/recovery. I’m pretty tired so sleep is my No.1 priority for this coming week. I’ve just quit my part-time job so I have no excuses.

3) Training Volume still too high? My deads felt REALLY heavy today I still bashed out 180kg for 5 (which is now a x2 bodyweight deadlift!), my other workouts felt fine though so I’m not sweating it.

4) I’m dropping water - I seem to be leaning out a bit. I don’t look anywhere near as bloated but at the same time I feel less ‘big’ (probably due to the volumising effect of the test). I didn’t expect to keep all my weight, but to lose 4kg in one week is pretty dramatic!

Hopefully all will be well next week after some good recovery

With all the possible things that could go wrong during PCT all is well so far.

Thoughts so far…

…No oestrogen rebound! (yet) I stopped all my arimidex last week and JUST used my SERM (Nolvadex) alongside my cortisol inhibitor (reduce XT).

…Strength is still going up! This is probably because I’ve cut the volume of my training in HALF (no ancillary exercises or super-setting) to help recover my joints from 12 weeks of hell and added creatine monohydrate to the mix as well. I don’t expect it to keep going up but I’m still making gains thus far.

…Fatigue is crazy! One thing that I felt whist on gear (test NOT M-drol) was a wonderful deep sleep, I always felt rested and recovered and ready to hit my sessions hard. Currently I’m VERY tired, perhaps it’s the rebound from weeks of little sleep whilst on M-drol but currently I’m tired during the day and needing a lot of rest to recover fully.

…Weight is still stable. I’ve not gone above 95kg yet although the scale keeps creeping up VERY slowly, which is what I’m aiming for. I can’t afford to put on much more fat and whilst the subcutaneous water seems to be going away (or maybe that’s the reduce XT working..) I don’t want to make massive weight changes until my next cycle, I’ll be happy just keeping what I’ve built after PCT is said and done.

So far all is well.

I’m now mid-way through week 1 of PCT (week 12) so I felt that at this point it would be good to have a ‘mini-review’ of sorts as the androgens start to leave my body!

My weight is currently holding steady around 94-94kg and has been for the last 2 weeks. I’m not bulking like crazy at this stage, just trying to maintain my weight whilst making more strength gains. I’ll do this until the end of PCT and re-assess.

If I start at the beginning, I’d say AAS are most definitely effective if used properly and with all the recommended ancillaries (AI’s, SERMS etc). I seemed to respond really well to the testosterone, with very few side effects and massive strength and size gains. I was paranoid at the beginning that I would have an abscess from the injections but I used good, sterile technique for pinning and most were no problem.

M-drol was NOT worth the side effects. By the end of the bottle I was up to 30mg/day and able to tolerate the side effects ok but the strength gains were not worth the effort IMO. In hindsight, I would have bought some extra testosterone propionate and pinned that for the last few weeks. I’m staying away from orals in the future.

You can train REALLY hard whilst on AAS and still recover. I was able to complete some ludicrous workouts and still make progress in the gym, I think most guys looking to put on size whilst on cycle should be shifting as much weight as they can and focusing on the big exercises each up to twice a week. Having said that, i did damage my hip whilst on gear so you need to be careful and work within your limits, walk away from the gym when you know you’ve done enough.

Some of the ‘bloat’ from the AAS seems to be wearing off at this stage. Your muscles certainly get a volumising effect whilst the gear is in your system, making you appear bigger almost immediately. I’ve added creatine back into my supplement regime to help maintain the volume of the muscles.

Be prepared for people to ask questions! I’ve put on 20kg of size in 3 months, that is a MASSIVE amount of weight. If you’re in danger of the wrong sort of people asking questions either have a good come-back or don’t use AAS.

I’m writing this on Sunday, my last shot was on Thursday of this week.

The last shot went very well, no pain and no inflammation, looks like I avoided abscesses for this cycle

My weight gained has slowed down considerably, mainly because I dropped my calories a little (fat gain was becoming prevalent) but I’m still gaining 1lb every 2 weeks, which is fine considering the massive amount I’ve gained on this cycle.

I just thought about my weight and size today, I’m heavier than I was two years ago (after my insane bulk of insaneness) but leaner and much more muscular. The comments keep coming thick and fast about how good I look but I’m convinced a few guys think I’m on ’something’…ah well.

The M-drol is nasty as always However the side-effects have lowered considerably (or maybe I’m just tolerating them now), fewer headaches (TONS of water throughout the day), less back pumps (eating lots of bananas pre and post workout and plenty of water). I’m at the end of my 3rd week at 30mg/day and whilst I’m happy to come off it, I might just go for another week to really keep the strength up.

In terms of strength gains, they keep coming but I can’t always increase the weight now (reaching max weights), a extra rep here and there is good enough though so long as progress is consistent, I’m happy.

Plans are now to keep lifting hard with my current program for another week until I finish the M-drol, then change my program to a lower volume one to let my body recover a little. From what I’ve read, you sleep like a baby whilst on cortisol inhibitors, can’t wait! (M-drol is SHIT for sleep).

I think if I gain another kilo or so in the next 6-8 weeks and maintain most of the weight I’ve gained I’ll be happy Whilst the abs are very faded in the grand scheme of things I’d rather put all my effort into getting big within the next year or so and then worry about cutting down to a super-lean level again. I’ll probably do a little re-comping at the end of my next cycle (next year) but no major cuts for now until I’m happy with my body size.

Just got back from the gym…it was INSANE (in a good way).

Weights went flying up for all my exercises, I felt like shit all the way through my workout but i had a HUGE coffee before going so I felt like I was on ECA all over again.

I forgot to mention another nasty side effect…NO appetite Pushing down 5000 calories when you’re not even partially hungry is like torture. Considering I was ravenous when just on Test this is a really unpleasant side effect. M-drol would be awesome for cutting in this respect but feeling like shit all day long is not nice even if it does blunt your appetite.

I guess I’m keeping the M-drol in my regime for now. It’s really harsh and I probably won’t ever use it again after this run but for all this torture there’s got to be so nice gains coming (considering it’s WAY more anabolic that testosterone).

I also think my libido reduction might be from the combination of arimidex and M-drol (both suppress oestrogen), the lack of sleep doesn’t help but this might be contributing.

I honestly can’t imagine people running this shit without some sort of exogenous testosterone coming in, it just seems ludicrous to me. I guess all the vets were right, oral only cycles are probably a HUGE disappointment, full of side effects and next to no gains that you can hold onto.

I’m definitely sticking with the M-drol for now but it’ll be pinning for me from here on out, for all the side effects I’m getting from this stuff I might as well have thrown in some Tren to the mix!

M-drol is horrible…

I’ve honestly been virtually ’side-effect free’ all cycle whilst using testosterone, clean gains, insane libido, great sleep, elevated mood and no crazy side effects!

This is now day 5 of M-drol and I want to die Headaches, back cramps, insomnia, lethargy, no libido (although I think that’s from the lack of sleep) and really painful joints.

I’m tempted to drop the M-drol, nothing is worth all these crazy side effects. I’ve seen some mad strength increases from using it but nothing that the test didn’t give me and at least I enjoyed training whilst only on test!

I took 10mg this morning so I’ll see how my workout goes, if I become some sort of inhuman lifting machine I might be tempted to lower the dose back to 10mg/day and stay on but I doubt it.

I’ve got so much on right now with my thesis that I can’t afford not to be sleeping and feeling like shit 24/7.

Looks like I don’t respond well to oral steroids, kind of convenient isn’t it?

…and it’s ok so far! No side-effects as of yet but from the logs I’ve read it takes a few days to fully kick in anyway. The HCG should help prevent too much shutdown so I’m hoping for some nice, clean gains for these few weeks!

Took 20mg today (spread out over two 10mg doses), one with my shot in the morning and the other in the afternoon with my fish oil and perfect cycle tabs.

Had a good workout today (chest again), reps and weights continue to climb but not at the crazy rate of the previous weeks (had to slow at some point) so I’m hoping the M-drol helps me bust a few more PBs before I finish my cycle. I might throw in my creatine loading phase in the last week of test to help get it into my system quicker for PCT.

Weighed in again at 89kg same as last week. I’ll have to up the cals to 5000 now and see if that helps. I keep looking full and bigger overall, it was so funny getting asked by one of my students ‘how do I build big muscles like you!", LOL! I’ve never had anyone say I had ‘big’ muscles before!

My left hip is still painful, so I’m leaving out the squats for another week. It sucks but at least I can still go heavy on the leg press and deadlifts, I’ll work them back into my routine slowly, probably more as a ‘conditioning’ exercise as my squat has never been as impressive as my deadlift max.

Forearms are also giving me agro now! Tingling, numbing fingers made me worry about carpal tunnel syndrome! I think it’s just from overuse, if it doesn’t go away post cycle (when i lower the training volume a bit) I’ll get it checked by the doctor. For now I’ll put up with it.

Until next time.

Or at least that’s what I keep getting called! The weight is certainly starting to show now (and continuing to climb!) I look a lot thicker, especially in my traps/shoulder area, even my stubborn arms are growing!

I managed to hurt my left hip joint squatting last week I’ve been resting it but I can’t even bodyweight squat below parallel without pain. I’ll be substituting out heavy squats for leg press today and see if that helps and I’ll continue to do stiff leg deadlifts and normal deadlifts as these don’t seem to cause any pain.

Ordered up a few more ‘goodies’ for PCT including…some M-drol! I figured that since my cycle was going so well I wanted to finish with a bang. 4 weeks of M-drol should be nice (good reviews across the board) as it seems to be a decent clone of the original Superdrol.

I’m thinking of starting at 20mg/day and upping the dosage if needs be to a maximum of 30mg/day (no need to overdo it). The compound in the M-drol might help with ’solidifying’ some of my hard-earned gains on cycle and force a few more PBs before I head into PCT.

Creatine will be a staple in the PCT but I’ve also got some Reduce XT to help with the cortisol floating around. I think food and rest are going to be the main savours of my lean mass though.

Another HCG shot in an hour, looking forward to it

Ok the weight gain is getting a ‘little’ crazy….86kg this week

That’s almost 20lbs since I started! I’m a participant in an experiment at the moment for my mate, he honestly cannot believe the amount of weight I’ve gained since he last saw me weighed (I’d just finished my cut for the bboy Uni champs), I guess the old ‘creatine’ excuse will just have to do…

Had an HCG injection this week, hopefully it’ll make my HPTA recovery a bit quicker in PCT. Even though ‘feelings’ are in no way indicative of how shut down you are, I feel great!

Recovery is still excellent, although I just couldn’t bring myself to do cardio after my legs session today. I annihilated the squats and was so I was exhausted there was no way I was jumping on a treadmill, even if all I do is walk!

I’ve switched out some of the isolation work in my training for more ‘big lifts’ (power cleans and more squats). Reason being is that the Test should have peaked by now so I think it’s time to get as much ‘bang for my buck’ as possible and start whacking on some slabs of muscle mass, the stronger I get overall (hopefully) the bigger I’ll get.

I’ll be watching my recovery and won’t be afraid to drop the cardio if it starts to dwindle.

Calorie intake is still ridiculously high but bodyfat isn’t creeping up too much, I look better on some days that others (water retention).