VisualizationME’s BodyBlog

Been dealing with major stress in my life and knowing I am a strong woman I find myself losing my strength and fire.  These days all I have is faith.  Faith is a very strong word if you really FEEL it.  I’m glad I have this site to access because I have made some great friends on here that have given me strength on days I really needed it. And of course the truly inspirational stories.

Today I woke up with fresh determination that I haven’t felt for a while.  I have such high goals for myself but I have to shovel all the **** in front of me first.

 Purchased new shoes yesterday and ready to get back into running.  I need the fresh air, view of the mountains and sun on my face.  I need to feel alive.  It has been much too long.

 Nesha xx

Okay I am hoping someone can tell me what the hell I am experiencing.  In the last three days I am experiencing the weirdiest feeling I have every felt…Noticable only after hard work out and lasts all night long.  I will be sitting there and you know when a nurse is taking your blood and she ties a rubber band around you bicep to cut off the blood flow and your veins pop out….well you know the feeling you get when you have your circulation is cut off and then you slowly regain the blood flow back and you can slowly feel your veins throbbing……yes weird but that is what I am experiencing.  I am also experiencing a weird feeling in my muscles as well….it is like I can feel my muscles fibers healing themselves……now I know your thinking I have completely lost it but this is the best way to discribe it.

Do you know what it might be?

Been a great week.  I am happy with myself.  Trained my legs twice this week and I can already feel the strength and hardness bounce back.  I also been working on burning my calves -like "ouch" burn - and in little as a week I am already seeing results.  I just wish the rest of my body responsed this easy.

I recently had some personal family issues arise and I have ALLOWED the stress of Christmas and those painful issues hold me back for a while.  But I was back at the gym today after much too long. Over a month of really really crappy eating, abusing my body and not going to the gym. 

 It feels so good to be back pumping iron and sweating.  I am so out of shape but I know my body is kind to me and will give me results when I kick ass.  I am always amazed how fast my body bounces back after I have been away from the gym for a while.  When I am really consistent and clean eating, in little as two weeks I am back to where I left off. Time to kick some ass and move forward.  I also cut off all my hair.  I needed a change and I really like my new look.  Time to look a little more deeper into accepting the "inside" of me.  I want to understand what is "really" holding me back from being my best. 

Looking forward to the New Year and all the changes that will come with it.

Okay I have not been able to move my neck and not too much my back either since Friday morning.  Thursday I over did it. I went for a long run with my dog when I got up, then went to the gym and weight trained for over a hour, came back home with son and we did some major gardening.  Big yard and just bought the house last fall.  Bachelor lived in this home before me and it needed alot of work.  You know - a woman’s touch. Flowers, flowers and some more flowers.  Yah I love flowers.

Anyways I am so mad at myself cause I have caused myself to lose three days of working out.  And to top it all off - I have been eating crappy for three days.  You think I would be the opposite since lately I am really noticing the body fat going down??????  I am going through this weird thing right now where I will catch myself in the mirror and just stop and stare.   Who is that?  Wow maybe this clean eating, weight lifting, vitamins, drinking my water is actually doing something???  Did I get scared a bit last time I reflected on this and thought that maybe I don’t deserve this?  Sometimes I do that to myself.  And the other thing is I use to have men just glance at me, sometimes a second look but now - they stare.  At first this made me uncomfortable.  I have been invisible for the last six years and my whole life I didn’t like men.  Now in my life (major learning journey) I have come to love men.  I am starting to UNDERSTAND men.  Anyways I have shared a bit too much.  It has been raining for four days straight and I am going mental stuck in the house with three kids, dog, cat, etc…

Well today is a new day and it is going to be a good one. Life lesson learnt.

Thanks for reading

Well, back to work last week and trying to balance it all with being a single mom with three kids, animals, house, bills, etc…

Since I have been back at work (took 8 months off to FIND MYSELF) the feedback I have been receiving from fellow co-workers has been amazing and very encourging.  I have lost 45 lbs and feel great.  This only motivates me harder for I know I have some much farther to go to reach my goals.  Lover bf and just buff all over .  I think visualization is so important and I make sure to do a bit each day.  Keeps me focus.

I am not worried about losing "me" time (working out) since I have been back at work.  It is all a matter of priority.  Going to the gym at 5:30 instead of 9:00.  It will be a little hard at first but it will be worth it this summer.

Any other "single" moms out there that are facing the same challenges - balance family, household, kids sports, working out of the home, working out, etc..

 I would love to hear from you.

Have a good night.

Nesha 

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