I got a phone call from a very good friend of mine, she is a beautiful person and has such a beautiful heart.  She is in a delima at the moment with her life, she is 35 years old and for the first time in her life she doesn’t have a job and has no money.  She is currently on the dole (welfare) which doesn’t provide her much money to even live off.  Her life is basically at a standstill until she gets a job.  "What’s new" you say "we are all finding it tough in these tough times at the moment"…believe me I totally understand I myself am living from one pay packet to the next at the moment.  But she also has a genetic skin condition…I’m not sure what it is called but she has small tumors all over her body and face, where ever she has nerve endings, they vary in size from that of pimples to warts.  We went to school together and these tumors where non-existent then and now she has them everywhere, once they get too big she has them surgically removed.

I seriously believe that people are not hiring her because of the way she looks, even though times are tough she still wants to work…"she will even stack shelves in a supermarket…she doesn’t care".  She was so upset today she is being treated like scum by the welfare department…she is not a welfare cheat she just wants a job!

I’m so upset at society these days we all focus on the outside, our bodies, our faces, our boobs…I am one of these people…I like to feel and look good about myself and I’m not sorry for going to the gym and being fit and healthly.  But I don’t judge others or laugh at others.  I just want people to know that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.  And I’m so glad that I’m on this website. The people here are so motivating to others and I just wish others could also be to my friend.

I just want my friend to be happy she seriously is a beautiful person and I really wish someone would hire my friend and let her have her dignity back.

Thanks for listening. 

I’ve stepped up my cardio where I’m doing at least 1 hour of cardio 4 to 5 times a week, then I do my weights which is 5 days a week which can last up to an hour.  I’ve now eating around 200g of protein so I don’t loose muscle and I’m limiting my carbs so I can decrease fat!  And preparing all my food so I eat something every 2 to 3 hours.  Meanwhile I am looking after an 11 month old who still wakes in the middle of the night for a bottle.  I just need more rest or maybe I need an iron supplement.  Why am I so tired!

The problem now is that I still don’t have my appetite back which is not helping with the training, yes I’m loosing weight…but I don’t think its the right weight…I don’t want to loose my muscle!  I basically took it easy this week at the gym just concentrated on weight training but next week I want to step it up and add the cardio in.  Maybe having the cardio will bring back my appetite and get me back into the swing of things or is this a bad mistake?  I don’t want to get sick again!

I rang him up and told him about the “12 week challenge” and I read out some stories to him over the phone about the amazing contestants.  And you know what he said “When was the last time you played sport!”… I knew where he was going with this so I burst into tears (as all I could think of was all the negative comments made to me by various people my whole life).  What he meant was because they had played sport they could easily look fantastic after twelve weeks.  Me on the other hand had played sport in high school and my 15 years of aerobics (and being in an aerobics troupe) and weight training didn’t count did it (during my late teens and thoughout my 20’s!)

He has his doubts about me and that’s because I obtained the application form before and was going to enter, I filled out all the details took photo’s but never sent the forms in.  I wasn’t as educated about working out as I am now and my diet was not on track as it is now.  So I guess he doesn’t want to motivate me as he probably thinks that I won’t follow through.  Maybe I’m upset today because I some how believe that he is right… I just hope he’s not.

So instead of feeling really great about myself today…instead I feel like crap!

At the start I was simply trying to get myself familiar with the gym again and since having a baby I didn’t want it to be too strenous on my muscles and joints.  At first I wanted to achieve my results quickly so I would push myself so hard that my muscles would be so sore and then I wouldn’t want to go to the gym again for a while.  I ended up with excuses of why I didn’t go…slept in … to tired… can’t walk …. etc etc.  I got tired of listening to my own excuses and decided a different approach was needed.

I started weight training, first it was a total body workout for a few weeks then I started to implement training different body parts on different days and I then started to add some cardio.  Now I train 5 days a week Monday to Friday and I have Saturday and Sunday off.  My diet on the other hand has been all over the shop but just recently I’ve been really careful of what I’m eating also and that’s when I saw the weight trainig, cardio and diet all had a part in my 7 pound loss (3kg) so far (I know its not much but to see this result was a great feeling).  I feel I have the necessary tools now to achieve my fat loss and weight loss goals.

I just have to keep at it.

Now I am making a pact with myself that I am going to train and I am going to eat right and I am going to loose fat and I am going to sculpt my body the way I have always dreamed of.  So friends when I fall off the horse…which I will…I am going to get right back on it as quickly as possible and when I fall off again… I will get right back on it again, until I no longer fall of the horse.  I know it will take time and results will not be instant, the abuse I have put my body through will need to be undone and it will take time.  So friends I will now tell you that I am 66kg (145lbs) with 33% bodyfat I am 164cm (5ft 4inch) tall and I have some work to do, so I will let you know my progress as time goes on.