Here in the tech world, we deride any piece of software that conforms to the marketing department's definition of what a person should be, likes, or wants as being "buzzword-compliant." I point no further than the proliferation of "multimedia games" that stormed the market like a bunch of pissed-off GIs storming Baghdad in the mid-nineties. Nobody liked them, even fewer people played them, and now they populate trashcans and wastebaskets and landfills everywhere. Which is, frankly, where they belong.

My kettles, my two best friends made from pure iron, are currently a fitness buzzword. Busy soccer moms and sorority girls can doll up their bodies with tiny slabs of girl-muscle by going to their nearest sterilized-to-death, boring gym and hiring a personal trainer to show them the ways of the girya.