Thank you to everyone for the love and support you’ve given me. 

Especially with my emotional things.  I prefer quietly working through these in my own way.

Six months ago I separated from my husband.  As a coping mechanism I never allowed myself to feel the emotions that go with such a significant loss.  I was cold, clinical and all about the business.  I had until this point not shed a single tear about it.

 That was then.

Those of you with some life experience will know that eventually you HAVE to deal with the emotions.  The more you avoid it, the more pressurized they become.   And things under pressure tend to explode.

I managed to avoid dealing with it for 6 months. 

 I am naturally positive and happy.  I’m one of those annoying people who always sees "the bright side".  But this is something I have not had to deal with before.  And it’s nailing me.

It’s nailing my training.  It’s nailing my ability to get in the right head space to train.  It’s nailing how and when I’m eating.  It’s nailing my sleep.  It’s nailing my work.  It’s nailing my behaviours and choices.

Why would I share this with the world?  Because:

1. All of us struggle with real life issues and I don’t ever want people to think I’m impervious to struggles
2. When we share our stories, the pain decreases
3. And in sharing others might find comfort, knowing they are not alone
4. This keeps me accountable for my choices

I broke down today.  I trained but without focus and strength.  The donut, chocolate and popcorn only made me feel ill. 

So this is the point where I know I cannot deal with this alone.  I need help. 

And that’s what I’ll get. 

This is another thing to overcome and it will be done.

Thanks for listening.  I’ll let you all know how I progress. 

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much I inspire others. 

I have concluded that I mostly inspire passively by simply being me.  I am not DOING much to inspire.

Now, I can hear the objections of my friends… what do you mean you’re “passive” and you don’t “DO” anything to inspire?? You workout 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day, you’ve gone through this amazing transformation and you keep improving…. How is that passive??

What I meant by doing, is that I want to invest in people.  Step out and help people by - kicking their butts.

Yes, that’s right, I want to offer a free “I’m here to kick your butt, slacker, get your ass to gym!” service. 

 Seriously.

Of course, I’d be a little more diplomatic than that. 

 I was thinking of offering this service, not here on BodySpace (there’s just so much inspiration here already).  I was thinking of starting a group on FaceBook, initially for my friends where I will personally write something inspirational to get people training and achieving their goals.

 I’m still umm’ing with this.  Whaddya’ll think?  Worth a shot?

 I will repost my splendiferous, porntastic tale of transformation at a later stage.  Instead I’m posting two versions of a song that is totally inspiring me at the moment. 

First version is the original… and this will make you want to run.  Watch the video.  Second version will make you want to run faster (it’s the Tiesto remix).  Boom. boom. boom.  Love base!

RUN RUN RUN!!

Ulitmately, you run your own race.  People can join you along the way.  But YOU begin it.  And you FINISH it!

Now RUN some MORE

Got to a point where I understood why two sweaty men would cling to each other. 

I was clinging to the bag. Push away.  Keep pushing.  Gloves up Lady!

I enjoy pushing myself but I LOVE being able to work with the instructor.  It’s one thing hitting an inanimate object.  Quite another working with a fast, living, breathing, tall man.

There’s probably a proper name for this so bare with the novice boxer… my favourite exercise today was situps where everytime you come up, you hit the pads.  And count up. 

So first situp,  you hit one one.  Down. 

Up.  Combo, one two.  Down.

Up.  One.  Two.  One. Down.

Up.  One.  Two.  One. Two. Down.

Until you’re hitting the pads ten times.  And then you do it backwards to one.

It kills your abs.  It kills your shoulders.  It basically kills you.

First time round, I sucked.  Second time round I killed it.  Excellent speed and power. 

And then I had to roll over onto my stomach to get up off the floor.

I walked out of gym, depleted.  Satisfied. 

As if to endorse my fantastic workout the radio was playing a song about me.  I love songs about me. 

Have a fantastic weekend, all you foxy people!

But sometimes, something really cool happens.  Something really cool happened for me.

I have made fantastic friends on BodySpace.  Really great friends. Good people.
I’ve always been a little sad about one thing.  That I am so far away from all these wonderful people that I cannot meet them all in person.  I am tucked away here on the other side of the planet.  New Zealand, in case you didn’t know is very far away from well… the rest of the world.

So you can imagine my joy, yes JOY! Woot! And excitement when one of the BodySpace friends let me know they were going to be in New Zealand.

Most of us (I think) have had some experience with meeting people on-line but then being disappointed when we meet the person in real life.  Either they’ve posted 100 year old pictures of themselves or let’s face it, their on-line personalities are just waaay better…

I am very glad to report that I have exactly the opposite experience.

Let me introduce you to my BodySpace friend who has become a friend in real life:

Jake Sawyer.   http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/jakewsawyer/ 

Right, so not only is Jake one handsome dude.  He is also a seriously cool, generous, humble guy.  Who knows his stuff.
I’ve been hanging out with him.  Or rather he has been putting up with my stories.  And my bad jokes (I’m horrible at telling jokes.)

Jake is out here to train with another really great guy, IFBB Pro Moe Elmoussawi, who incidentally finished no. 10 at Olympia this year - check him out here http://contest.bodybuilding.com/bio/33/

How awesome is that?    Just when life gets a bit ho-hum, a BodySpace friend will show up to make things a little more interesting.
Oh yeah.. if you’re ever in New Zealand you’re welcome to call me… I’ve got lots of stories to share… ask Jake. 

I’ve been doing boxing fitness for the last month.  It has been challenging and exciting in new ways for me.

The class is setup circuit style and for two minutes you work your ass off at whatever station you’re at.  Then move onto the next.  This happens for an hour.
I’ve made good progress with the speed ball.  I’ve got good power in my punches and I can throw out combinations at a good speed (my upper cut needs work though).

Today the instructor added movement when sparring and actually throwing back punches if you dropped your gloves out of the defensive position.

The first thing I did was anticipate where he was going to move to and then I stepped onto his foot.  Ouch.  I’m a girl.  So I apologise.  He smiles and says "good technique, stand on your opponent so they can’t go anywhere and then you hit them".

I still feel bad for standing on him.

By the third sparring session I’m tired.  Very tired.  So my gloves dip.  And he goes for the gap.  Yikes.

It is a rather interesting experience to have a punch come at you.

Ha! But then I notice that I’m not dipping my gloves, it’s just that he is so much taller than me, that he will always be able to get over my gloves.  I mention this to him.  He laughs, tells me he only picks on short people.  I laugh.  And can’t hold my gloves up.  Tell him that it’s fighting dirty to make your opponent laugh.  We’re both bent over laughing.  Wheezing to get our breath back.

Right.  Suck it up and get back to sparring.

Boxing. Love it.

 I own it. I am Headstrong.

It means that I’m unwaiveringly loyal to the people and causes I care for.  It also means that I tend to go against the flow of things.  Headstrong.

I happen to think that’s a good quality to have.

 I know that in my BodySpace community there are like-minded, focussed people. 

This song is for all of you.