V’s Journey

You’ve decided what type you are (see previous post). 

On further thought, I realised that each type would have theme songs that they play on their internal MP3 players. 

Type A’s would play songs like, Eric Carmen’s "All by myself"

Type B’s would play songs like, Christina Aguilera’s "Fighter"

My theme song for the week is Sound of Madness by Shinedown.  Enjoy!

I was one of the founding members of the gym I go to.  When I started we were a bunch of unfit amateurs who were nervous around the equipment.  I still remember the first introduction to the circuit where we nervously giggled through the demonstration.  I did not even look at the free weight area.  I was too scared.

Some of the ladies in that original group have begun to see changes in their bodies.  Some of them I don’t see at the gym at all.  What category do I fall in?  My own. 

From the very first demonstration I had made the commitment that I would push myself as hard as I could EVERY time I came to gym.  I remember being so tired on the super circuit that my brain would clutch out while I was on the spinning bike and forget to use the break. lol.  Heck, in the beginning just being able sit on the spinning bike without falling off was an achievement.

In eight months my commitment has been rewarded with an amazing body transformation.  That original bunch of women have seen me transform.  Almost every gym session I get someone coming up to me and saying "Wow! How much have you lost now?"  I have a reputation with these women. 

But there are a bunch of newbies who don’t know my story.  Don’t know that I workout 6 days a week.  These women interestingly enough, judge me.  Because I am not polite when I workout.  And I workout harder than anyone else in that gym.  I’m not being arrogant - it’s just the truth.  The instructors have told me they enjoy it when I come in because I really push it and to use their words I don’t do the "poofy" workouts the other ladies do.

The old crowd have learned that they can have a quick chat with me between sets. (It took many rude grunts and ignoring of people to get to this point.)  One such regular this week wanted to know how long I had been fat (if you’ve only been fat for a short time then it’s apparently much easier to lose the weight).  Since I hit puberty is the answer.  Stumped because now’s she’s trying to figure out how many years that it is.  20 years. Mmmm.

Next question: Have you had children?  No, I have not.  Well, when you have children then your body changes.  Now of course I know she’s lining this up as an excuse.  I don’t have children so therefore I don’t have any of the complications of the female body post-partum.  Yes, that’s true, I agree.  But I also know amazing women (I’m thinking Kermane, Kim, Shan) who are mom’s and who are my heroes.  They inspire me!  I refer her to this site and point out that having children is not really an excuse although I am fully sympathetic that it does change things.  

At this point I think its time to move onto the next set.  No matter what I say there is going to be an excuse.  And sadly for her, there has been no change.

This got me thinking (yes, that thing that I find so attractive).  There are two types of people in the world. 

Type A:

• Will always find an excuse not to do the right thing
• Will quit when things get hard
• Is not in touch with their motivators and hygiene factors i.e. self-awareness = zero
• Will not take responsibility for their failures, it’s always someone or something’s fault never their own
• Wants instant results

Type B:

• Gets knocked down, but gets back up every time
• Choses the right thing to do (most of the time, no-one is perfect)
• Is self-aware, knows what triggers positive responses, what brings them down
• Owns their failures because they use these experiences to learn from (see first bullet for Type B)
• Is aware that long-term success requires long-term work, there are no shortcuts

I know which Type I am. 

I can say with conviction I know which Type most of my friends on this site are.

But if you’re whining in your blog about the crap you ate and the workout you skipped, then I want to challenge you.  Decide what Type you are going to be.  And BE IT.

I tend to mull over my blogs for some time before committing the words to the wide web.  This has been a bit of a crazy week for me (work-wise) and therefore I have not had the luxury of much mulling.

 But there is this little gem I need to share…

I love compliments.  I might even be needy in that department (but I think I’m getting over it! ).

So if you send me a pm that reads like this:  "Hello Sexy" And that’s the sum total of the pm…

I want to be upfront and honest with you and tell you now that I will ignore you.  My reasons for ignoring you might be surprising…

That opening line irritates me because a. It’s lazy and b. very little thought went into it. 

I have mentioned my habit of mulling, conversely I happen to find people who think very attractive.  HermTheWorm says that the number one feature women look for is a nice ass.  For me that comes in second after a high level functioning brain.  (Yeah, I’m fussy that way.)

Anyhoo, just really needed to send that out there… when I update my fit status to "sexy gurl, looking 4 fun time" that’s when you can recommence with the "Hello sexy" pm’s.  For now, please don’t bother. 

I love change.  I’ll admit that I’m not always enthusiastic about all the changes that happen in my life.  But I have made peace with, and yes, even embraced change as my friend. 

The change that I don’t like is normally where I’ve gotten far too comfortable with something.  When I take things for granted.  And then WOOSH! change arrives and I complain while I grow through the process of accepting the change.

Some change is planned, like preparing for competitions.  I think most of us are far more comfortable with planned change.

I had a planned change tonight.  I got my new training programmes.  Yeeahaa! 

It was an uncomfortable change. Because I’ve asked my trainer to push me harder.  And she took me seriously on that. 

I shoulder pressed until failure while grunting and groaning (yes, like I was having a baby). I decline chest pressed and then dismounted as "gracefully" as one can when one’s arms and shoulders have no feeling.  I basically rolled off the bench onto my knees.  With more grunting and groaning.  Of course.

I also love the mirrors at the gym.  While I’m pressing and benching and grunting and groaning they give me the opportunity to see the real change I’m working towards.  And that keeps me pushing through the final three reps when it feels like some part of my anatomy is going to fall off.

Go on! Embrace change!

Today (17 March) I turned 32.  Woot! For getting older!

I’m pleased to see that my profile was promptly updated with the correct number.  Stats are very important to a bodybuilder.

I don’t particularly enjoy the actual birthday (I have always have this expectation that it should be crazy, fun and then I’m always disappointed when its just the same as every other day.  I guess that when my inner child grows up that expectation will change. )

What I do enjoy about birthdays is the opportunity to look back at your life and see how much has changed since the last one.  And this year there have been many fantastic changes.

The greatest and most obvious change is that I’ve lost 26 kilograms.  And with that loss I have gained so much more.  Self-confidence, adventure, challenges, and new friends. 

You are the new friends.  You understand my passion for self-improvement.  You listen to me complain about the amateur gym attendees that get in my way at gym.  You encourage me to do things I think I can’t do.  You share your journey with me.  You make me laugh. You encourage me.  So thank you!

I bought cake for the office and everyone was making jokes about being 21 again.  No, I said to them.  I don’t have a hang up about my age.  I’m 32.  I own that number.  I look and feel better than what I’ve ever done in my entire adult life.  It’s fantastic! 

I look so fantastic that the Irish throw me a huge party…every year! LOL!

Here’s to the next year!

Can you be totally pumped and totally exhausted at the same time? lol!

As predicted I did not sleep very well because I was sooo excited about the race.  Was wide awake before my alarm went off at 05h30 this morning.  I was on the course before 07h00 waiting in line for a shuttle bus to take me to the start. 

Get to the start and realise… 70,000 people… that’s a lot of people… especially if you’re all queuing to get to the portaloos.

My team pushed to 20 meters away from the start.  Packed in like sardines, there’s a nervous excitement and everyone just wants to get going.  But alas, there is a 15 minute delay, one of the shuttle buses has broken down on the course.  My trainer and I have agreed to run together.  We agree to walk the first bit to warm up (yeah right! I’m thinking… I’ve been warming up while we were waiting for the start).

At 09h45 the countdown begins. It’s great fun when 70,000 people start yelling. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, BANG! We’re off. 

And I wasn’t doing no walking!  I ran.  I think it would be wrong to stand in front at the start and then start off with a walk.  If you’re going to be in front, you better be prepared to RUN!

Trainer and I were evenly matched with the running and we kept a good pace.  We also kept pushing each other. 

Halfway through I see one of my colleagues (my work also fielded a team but I decided to run with my gym) in front of me and then I do a mean thing… lol.  I sprint up to him and I yell out to him "you’re going to slow mate! You’ve gotta run faster!"  And I sprint off into the crowd.  (More on that later.)

Just after that we hit a water station, slow down for a drink.  More pacing, more pushing.  Most of my focus was actually on avoiding the nutters doing silly things on the course (it is a fun run after all).

We pushed past the last point and there it was!  The finish line! Yay!  I was expecting for the race to feel much longer for me but it just flew by.  I came in with the respectable time of 58 minutes for 8.4 kilometers. 

The sense of accomplishment is just fantastic and I’m beginning to understand the drive to race. 

I need to invest in proper running shoes if I’m going  to do this again, my feet suffered in my trainers.

I finish off and head to the barbecue sites to meet up with the friends from work.  The guy I passed and "encouraged" to run faster wants to know my time.  lol.  He is like "Geez, when did I pass you then?".  He finished in 50 minutes (8 minutes faster than me).  We had a good laugh cause he says that all he remembers is me racing past him telling him to run faster and he thought he would have to try harder because I was making it look so easy. So maybe my teasing helped him to up his pace a little.

I really enjoyed this run.  Now I have this funny feeling… it’s niggling me about getting back to some swimming… maybe do a tri??? LOL!! Calm down V. one thing at a time!

 Photo of the event…. try and find me lol  (hint I’m not there because these are the walkers who were at the back)

Today I went for my body assessment.  And I realised that I have become indulgent.  Not slack.  It hasn’t regressed that far.  But definitely indulgent.

I have only lost 2 kilograms since the last assessment 5 weeks ago. 

Chest -1 centimeter.  Happy with this.  I actually don’t want my chest to get smaller.

Waist -3 centimeters.  Very happy with this result, this is a main focus area for me.

Hips No change. This is okay seeing that my hip bones are pretty much sticking out.

Arms +2.5 centimeter.  This is the result I am most proud of.  My arms look fantastic, I have gained muscle and definition!

Legs -0.5 centimeter.  A bit of a ho-hum result.

Why do I feel like I’ve become indulgent? Because as I stood on that scale I knew that it could have been better.  I am not beating myself up.  But you have to be real.  I just KNEW.  So in the next 5 weeks I commit to the following:

• No more red meat - I’ve been having this every night and the worst possible type…lamb.  Back to chicken and fish.
• No more Starbucks - my latte intake is back up to 2 a day.  This stops now.
• And I will push myself much harder with the cardio.  I have been “comfortable” with the level I was working at.  I need to get back to discomfort every time I do cardio.

This morning at gym I had the opportunity to encourage a lady who is just starting out.  She is participating in the race tomorrow but was contemplating pulling out because she felt self-conscious because she would walk the course.  My trainer was talking her into not giving up and then Trainer turned to me (I was stretching) and said to the lady “you should talk to Veronique, because she’s recently lost… how much in total now?”

“26 kilos (57 lbs) so far”

Since when she wanted to know. 

 ”Since August”

“Wow, that’s amazing! You’re my hero!”  (Oh man! It is good for the ego… I won’t lie. )

So we chatted and I told her not to worry because  next year she would run the race.  I listened to her story and she listened to mine.  She is still doing the race! Yeehaa!

Tomorrow is race day.  I got some nice leggings to run in.  Now hopefully, the excitement won’t keep me awake tonight. 

It’s a good thing that I am not a big, muscular man. Because I would be in trouble a lot.  Mostly for thumping everyone that irritated me. 

Yes, I have a violent streak.  My poor younger brother suffered under it.  My instant response to pain (when it’s not self-inflicted) is a flash of white hot brutatlity.  Yes, freaking brutality.  As a result my brother learned to be ready to run (very fast) when we were engaged in any form of horse play.  With age came sanity and reason.  I learned alternative outlets for my mean streak but damn there are days when I really, really, really wish I could thump some people.  (I had one of those days… )

I am not the type of woman who gets dressed up to go to gym but for heaven’s sake there must be some standards! Here are a couple of things I thought most women would already have a firm grip of:

a.  Wear clean clothes when you come to gym.  We do not need to smell your last 3 training sessions before you start this one.

b. Make sure that you are wearing nice underwear (if you’re planning to let it hang out)! Yes, dammit I do not want to see your skanky bra, that once upon a time was white but is now moving towards an earthly brown colour… eek. 

c.  Do not put your stuff (drink bottle, iPod, towel) on the training benches, they’re there for training! Yes, I am the person who moved your stuff and its all on the floor now! Ok!

Two more days until the run.  I look cute in my singlet.  And thanks to all of you for the lovely support.  I’m nervous and excited (all good though).  It just so happens that I chose the biggest fun run in the Southern Hemisphere for my first race.  Yes, I said first race… I have a feeling that something might stick and I’ll find myself looking for the next race…

Whew! Glad to get all of that off the chest!

I got my team singlet and my race number last night for the race on Sunday.  It’s my first race, and it’s a fun run with only 70,000 participants.  Yikes. 

 My competitive nature wanted me to be able to run the race within a certain time but I’ve been told it takes 20 minutes just to get to the start line.  I will keep unofficial time, just for my own sanity.

 I think I’m more worried about the logistics of getting to the race and where the heck I’m going to park my car than the actual running.  But getting my singlet brought it home… I’m running! Yay!

One of the joys of training is the constant "pain" my body is in.  You all know that pain… the good pain that says your muscles have been worked and they’re getting bigger.

This past weekend I made a mistake.  I knew it was a mistake.  I had made this mistake before.  And there I was repeating it.

 I like to learn from my mistakes the first time round.  I have this expectation that I will learn my lessons quickly, first time round.  It’s the least you can expect from a  highly intelligent woman.

But there I was repeating the mistake.  Knowing that there would be self-berating.  There would be the agonising.  There would be regret. 

The details of the error in my judgement are not relevant.  What is relevant is how I did actually learn the lesson this time round. 

I decided to phone a friend.  Not just any friend but the friend that inspired me to begin my transformation.  He too has gone through a fantastic transformation and he is not taken aback when I phone and ask him "Will I ever stop thinking like a fat chick?".  Which is exactly what I asked him.

Fat chick thinking is where you think you have to settle for anything… you don’t get the best because you’re unattractive.

I had spent some time analysing my choices and why I had repeated the error in judgement. 

And it came down to this.  I did not esteem myself highly enough.  In fact in the moment of my error I did not esteem myself at all. 

You will always sell yourself short when you undervalue yourself.  Always. 

So what did my wonderful friend say to me.  My wise, kind friend’s answer to me:
There is the former self and the new self.  As your body changes so will the way you think about yourself.  During the change you will live partly as the former and partly as the new. Each change in your body will make the new become the more dominant person until the new is YOU.

Well, actually his first response was just a simple "Yes" before all the elaboration. 

We all have choices to make every day.  Make your choices from a position of strength, in other words value youself!  Understand what drives you and what deflates you.  This type of self-awareness will empower you to make the right choice, almost every time. 

I say almost because I know there are still so many lessons to be learned.

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"The unexamined life is not worth living."

"Know thyself" - Socrates