Vanilla’s gym diaries

Well It’s been a great week. I went to the gym Tuesday thru Friday and am almost pumping as much as before I was preggers. Totally stoked about it! And the job is good…the daycare I need to get used to but I know my daughter will survive. I can’t be with her 24/7 so she’s bound to go through some things and I just need to adjust. BUt I’m feeling great…..I’m back, no need to blog about it anymore!

Well I managed to work it out hard on Monday and Tuesday but then New years eve day me and the hubby went and got tattoos so I skipped the rest of the week and the weekend. I drank way to much but enjoyed my family’s company. Today 1/5 was my daughter’s first day of daycare. I am totally bummed. My first day back to work is Wednesday and I’m really depressed about it. I’ve really enjoyed being home with my daughter….more so then working a 9-5. I’m heading to the gym tomorrow and will be back to my pre-baby schedule come Wednesday. Time flies! At least on a schedule i know I  will keep to my good habits….i have no choice. But its totally depressing. I wish I had the cash flow to stay home with her but what can we do……thats life i guess. 

I thought I was gonna really get back on the wagon but for one reason or another I’m really having trouble. I mean I only went once this week. I’ve been drinking everyday, mostly out of boredom. I havent been keep up with my food journal and have not been even keeping up with regular eating. I realized I needed clothes since I’m returning to work and holy shit, I went up like 4 sizes. Its so ****ing depressing. I’m back to where I was when I first started working out at the gym. That was nearly 5 years ago and it took me a good year or two to get into the shape I wanted to be in. I’m so unhappy with myself. I know once I start back at my job it will get easier and I’ll be busier…..And the workout routine that I had started is garbage. Its not for me. I hardly feel worked at the end of the day. I’m hardly sore and didn’t drop any weight or lose any size. I’m going back to my old routines.

Well Sunday I felt like I was coming down with a cold, I took some airbourne and it cleared up over night. My husband talked me out of going to the gym Monday to get some extra rest so i wouldn’t get sick. Tuesday I talked myself out of going and Wednesday i finally got back into the groove. Unfortunately, not much difference in size yet, Lost a couple lbs but not bodyfat change. This is getting more and more frustrating. Beginning to wonder if I’m ever gonna lose this baby weight. Still not fitting in my clothes…still wearing the bigger clothes I wore in the middle of my pregnancy. Cooking is getting kinda boring, keep trying new things but starting to get bored. My daughter is starting to sleep through the night so I am getting more rest, which I’m happy about. It’s find things to do during the day thats getting tough. Might not have my job back which is totally disappointing but I took off more then the allowed 16 weeks and after that they don’t garantee a job. Supposed to go back on the 7th of Jan. We’ll see. Just trying to stay focused and energized!

Good week. Made some progress, added more weight. Stayed on my routine. Drank Sat night for my office party but danced the night away! Gained weight and lost some body fat. Not much change in size though.

So I’ve been doing some reading. I bought and have read a strength training book for women and decided to do the training routine in the book. It lasts like 6 months and goes through various exercises in different weeks. It also gives in depth explanations of everything. So its a 3 day workout, I def am used to more then 3 days but I guess with the routine thats given 3 days is supposed to be enough and i can always go in on a 4th or 5th day for cardio if i want. I did my 3 days this week, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Not the correct way according to the book but it was 3 days. This week I’ll go the right way. I have to get used to some of these exercises as i have enver tried them before like the deadlift and the barbell squat. I def feel a difference in my back and feet and ankles and knees. I feel new muscles that I have never used before. I’m enjoying it, once again! Ate clean all week except for Friday night because that was my hubby’s holiday party and my free night. Looking forward to the weeks to come!

Well I skipped on Monday and went Tuesday and Wednesday. Really felt good and told myself I wouldn’t miss Friday and would try to control my eating on Thanksgiving. Well I controlled the eating but not the drinking and skipped Friday and Saturday. I slacked but I’m still looking forward to the future. No one’s perfect and i have to retrain myself and redisipline myself and that doesn’t happen over night. Nor does weight gain or loss. It took 10 months for me to get this big so it will probably take that amount of time, if not longer to slim down and tone up. Overall a great Holiday and I’m not going to beat myself up about missing the gym those days. I just had a baby, life’s different and I will get to my goal eventually.

O man, rough week. I totally didn’t do what I was supposed to do.  I skipped on Monday because I was so busy on Sunday and I wanted to get some extra sleep. I can only go to gym in the morning when my husband is still home or I can’t go at all unless I find a sitter. Then on Tuesday I went and worked out my arms and abs and did some cardio. I am so out of shape and def can not lift what I used to. I’m sure I’ll be there again but its so discouraging. Then on Wednesday I did legs. That wasn’t too bad but I was getting a headache and had to slow down. I remember getting those. whew. Then i did some cardio. Thursday i skipped because I was extremely sore. Friday I turned off the alarm and told myself, just rest for another minute and then get up and go…well i didn’t make it to the gym. And then Saturday I was sore and tired because we went out Friday night. So I only went twice this week and I drank alot of alcohol. Thats too many bad calories. I didn’t drop any weight or size and feel like such a slacker. This is a realization that I was completely disiplined before and now need to reprogram myself to be that way again or else…

11-10 thru 11-15

Well My first day back was exciting but rough. Def harder then I want it to be. Since I wasn’t fully healed from the c-sec and hadn’t seen the dr. I decided to keep it light and did only cardio all week but ending on Saturday I was actually able to run. Cardio is not the funnist thing to do at the gym because its so tedious but I find ways. I know I’ll be off to the weights real soon. Been cooking daily and eating healthy and am really excited to start seeing progress but I know I must be patient. It took me 9 months to look out a shape so it will probably take about the same to be back to what I was before. I also realize that the scale is not the place I should be looking because most times you gain muscle before you start to drop the fat so I’m in for a rollercoaster ride. I tried on a pair of shorts the other day that I always used to wear prior to the pregnancy and they wouldn’t even go past my upper thighs so thats probably where my main focus will start…my legs, and boy those workouts are vicious. Looking to find my old gym buddies too. Got my one friend there for me on Sat mornings now but the other buddy I have to track down. Didn’t see him at the gym this week. I also cut my hair to give me a new look and keep me feeling fresh and good. I really love it and have posted a pic for a visual!

So I see the dr. on Monday and hopefully he’ll ok me to hit the weights again and I can get back on the horse. I have to relearn all my old moves and tricks because I have forgotten so much. So glad that I posted some in my workout tracker. Can check back on that to see where I was. I also started the food journal again so I’m keeping track of calories and carbs and all that exciting stuff. I know this will soon get tiring because getting up in the middle of the night to take care of my little one and then go to the gym at 5am will run me down. Hopefully I’ll find time to nap in the daytime. I may have to go back to work though and then it will be really hard but I’ll do what I got to do. Its so worth it! And my new edition will benefit from having a healthy and fit mommy as well! I decided to keep my progress on track by posting my week to week journey on this blog……..

So I finally went into labor late night 10/2/08 but serious labor didn’t start until 10/3/08 which lasted for 24 hours and after pitocin and an epidural I pushed for 2 hours with no significant progress. The babies heart rate was jumping, I had a fever, she was coming sunny side up and there was merconium in the womb so we had to go c-section. I was totally disappointed that I couldn’t deliver naturally but o well, she’s here now. Life as a mother has been busy to say the least. Not a lot of time these days for exercise but I’m beginning to watch what I eat and pay attention to my size. another 2 weeks and should be allowed to go back to the gym. My husband is gonna take over for an hour or 2 in the morning before he goes to work so I can hit up the gym. I’m really excited and anxious to get back to my preprego weight. I hate being chubby and out of shape. Its so depressing. And I just got over having the baby blues, now my attention is on me and my body/health. i breastfed for the last 4 weeks and after some problems I’m giving it up. The milk hasn’t fully dimenished yet so Bella is still getting a little each day but I had to do what I had to do. They say breast feeding would cause me to lose weight but with me it only dropped 10 lbs…still having a remaining 18 lbs to lose. Sounds like a big number but I also have to reshape my belly,arms,back and ass,lol….At any rate, I’m eager to me the milf I know I can be! And my daughter will get the benefits of having an active mom and lifestyle as well…not to mention healthy eating habits! Hope to have some good progress pictures up soon! xo