Tyyger’s BodyBlog

I am feeling down today.  It’s the holiday, have a free day off of work, I should be happy right?  I’ve been sick the last couple of days with a sinus infection and fever so I have not been to the gym since Tuesday morning.  I had absolutely no energy to go today.  Supposed to have a cookout/party at my house with my sister and her family, but it’s raining out and that sucks!  It could just be because it’s that time of the month and my emotions are running crazy right now.  But alot as been on my mind and I am not sure how to sift through it all.  I’m married and have been for the last two years.  He is into bodybuilding and working out too.  I’m just not as dedicated as he is.  And that makes me feel bad sometimes.  He has never tried to make me go or make me feel like I have to lose weight or anything like that, I guess it’s just me that feels this way.  He has a great body and I ask myself, shouldn’t he be with someone who does too?   We met before he got into Bodybuilding, matter of fact, I’m the reason that he did.  I hooked him up with a good friend of mine who was competing and they hit it off and he’s been doing it every since.  But I feel like the child left behind……  although I support him and will always support him, I feel like I’m still standing at the train station and the train has left the platform……..

Why do I feel that way?  Bodybuilding has not always been something I wanted to do.  But when I go to these shows with him and see how much fun they have and the great bodies, I get all pumped and want to do it…but then a week later, I’m back to being me and being lazy.  So I ask myself, do I really want to do it or is it just the adrenaline rush I get from being at a show?

I’ve lost a whopping total of 4 pounds since I have joined this site.  I’ve been doing great with my workouts(haven’t posted any workouts lately..to time consuming)  It’s just my diet I can’t seem to change.  I’ve done really good in the past for a couple of weeks, but then I’m right back to eating sugary cereals or alot of bread.   I don’t really know how to plan a good day’s worth of meals.  I’m taking my vitamins and supplements, but I have no discipline whatsoever when it comes to my eating habits.  That’s what is boils down too.  I have no discipline.  I’ve worked hard for things in my life, but mostly things have come easily.  I’ve never had a struggle like this before.  And I am seeing now, that I can’t handle it alone………….