TurningPoint2’s BodyBlog

Geez, I’m letting time pass me by without blogging…so here’s my update: I’m on week #3 of the P90X…I was off to a really rocky start seems like. I changed my diet up to get just the right amount of carb/pro/fats in, and after two weeks, made some alterations there. I did make a 5.5 lb gain…not sure what that’s all about..but I’m for sure wasn’t going to quit since I’ve added weight that now REALLY has to come off…lol. So after Week #2, made the changes to my diet, did a lot of mental preparations, and actually added cardio to the P90X program that I’m already on. I like 90% of the aspects from the exercise program but really felt like I wasn’t getting enough cardio in. In the beginning of Week #2 I added the creatine supp in that has really helped physically with the weights and mentality of muscle gain.  Through the past 3 weeks I’ve mentally had my ups and downs and falling from depression to new motivation, wanting to quit and feeling the need to continue…a huge roller coaster. So there it all is in a nutshell. This week I feel that I am really where I’ve need to be since the beginning. Learning the "mental" side of things when working out has really helped myself reach the point of reaching my max in each and every workout. The diet, I think, is in check now with the intensity of my workouts. This week has been the best week yet. I’m really feeling good about getting to week #3 because any other time I have tried a workout program I have usually seen weight-gain and then all but quit. Until next time…

Alright, I’ve totally recovered and back on schedule. I’ve been forced to start completely over on the 90 days though–actually think that’s the safest bet. So this is Day #2 (AGAIN) but this time its for real. Still get nervous when it comes time to do push-ups, afraid I’m going to hurt something again but I think its all mental. Thanks to Andrew, I’ve got my diet in check here and feeling good. I’ve never been one to do a pre-workout meal but have found how helpful it can actually be.

I must be the first idiot to have an injury on this program–in the first real week. UGH! So I had a set back last week because of my cold, no biggy, took a break and thought I’d really go at it good and strong this week. I get up this morning feeling really strong, physically and mentally then, 30 min. into the workout–Whoa–pulled or strained an ab muscle. Here’s why I’m feeling like a true idiot here–#1 It’s shoulder and back workout, it’s not even a freakin’ abs workout yet, that comes after this workout. #2 I had just bragged in my last blog about not ever having any injuries to speak of, besides some sprained ankles in high school. What I’ve read about them is that you must always, always warm up before any activity–I DID–I completely followed the program. So I did get 30 min. into the workout. I went to put my hands on the floor in push-up position, put my left foot up on the bench, then went to bring my right leg up and low and behold, the most intense pain shot through my lower abdominal. There’s pain in the lower right side down low. Figured I strained it pretty good. I can walk and sit with no pain. But sitting up from a laying down positions hurts pretty bad. So now, I’m wondering how long it will be until I recoupe from this…another set back.

Yesterday, I felt myself getting sick–running nose, sore throat, etc. But I’m so excited about the P90X program, I didn’t want to miss a day. I did attempt to start workout last night but felt so lightheaded I had no choice but to quit. I’m forced to take a very short break until I can get my system back in tune. It sucks because I didn’t want to miss any days. This week I’m getting to know the exercise routine only and perhaps this will just make me put way more double-time effort going into next week.

Yesterday was Day#2 of the workout program. I actually missed getting up and getting the workout in the morning but I made for sure that I got it in last night. I prefer to work out in the morning–I think it burns more fat, and I don’t feel so tired from a long day. But since I didn’t get up on time, I made sure it got fit into my schedule somewhere. Today I’ve gone and done the same thing. Haven’t gotten much sleep during the night so I kind of knew that I wouldn’t be getting up bright and early this morning either. Furthermore, my muscles everywhere are hurting and didn’t think it would be such a great idea to workout last night then turn around and get up again this morning and go again. So tonight, I will be fitting it into my schedule again–my main goal is just to make it through the 90 days. (I know exercise is lifelong) but looking forward to 90 days is a little easier. I have my calendar hanging up and don’t want to miss a day of Xing off my workout day. This all keeps me going pretty good. The P90X seems to be a pretty hard program, I’m constantly asking myself if I’m even capable of something like this but just like all the other programs the first’s seem to be rough until you find the routine. I notice that these exercises give myself room  for improvement–so I didn’t last the full 30 seconds on the frog squats this go around, maybe next week, that will be my goal–just 30 seconds. Like the guy says "anyone can do anything for 30 secs."

My goodness, didn’t realize it has been since Feb. 6th since my last blog. Wow. I’m still here…still struggling…still making no progress because of my downfalls. So today is Day #1 of the P90X exercise program. I’m not a firm believer in buying into the info-commercials but my husband saw the commercial, acted like he was interested in it so we ordered it. (I kept thinking for all that money, I’d rather have the hip-hop abs.) But it was once that my husband was showing interest into getting in shape–thought it would be something that both of us could work on–that’s another story. So I hung the chin-up bar down in the basement. My husband tried it out and said he wouldn’t be able to do the workouts because of his elbow–perhaps there is some therapy that could get his elbow back into play again–I don’t know and really I don’t have any room to say anything because I have never had any injuries or long term pain in any part of my body–maybe a couple sprained ankles in high school. So…its all up to me to use this program and try it out. I’m not thinking I’ll turn out like all the rest of the peeps on there but I think right now–it would be an accomplishment just to find some program to give me the uumph that I need here. I’m not packing up the weight bench–figure I’ll see how well this program goes–eventually, I’ll probably move back into the free weights. I should thank my lucky stars everyday that I am able to exercise, without strain. Some peeps have back pain, some have arm strain, some have bad knees. I am very healthy presently, not saying it may get worse with my age. I think that’s a goal that I work for too–get in shape and stay in shape so I can live a healthy, painfree lifestyle as I get older. It’s my understanding that peeps have back pain because their ab muscles are too weak–if that’s the case, I’m going to be a hurtin’ unit in another 10 years. Let’s face it–I’m blessed up at the top and its amazing I haven’t had back problems already. Most peeps have had to had boob jobs–I really can’t afford that and quite frankly believe that I can change just by looking at some of these peeps’ success stories.

Since 2004, I have been a true believer in the Zone Diet. The summer of 2004, we went camping with a group of people and one of the gals was talking about how much weight she’d lost on this diet. She had several books in front of her and I remember thumbing through her books and thought I’d give it a try. I ordered the same books off Amazon.com and started reading the books intently. You need 3 blocks of everything for meal, one block of everything for snack, this equaled one block but if you wanted to eat something that was more, you had to make sure you ate the equal amount of blocks from the other food groups… ugh. The books went on my shelf to later dust off. When I went into the dr.’s office and he said he suggested starting with the Zone Diet, I was not excited about it at all. It was the most confusing, ridiculous diet I have ever read about and I just wasn’t sure I could do it. At that point though, he used the term "medication" if I couldn’t do it on my own. So I came home and I must have read through the first half of the book half a million times until it "clicked". I wrote out a week’s worth of meals on scratch paper. Odd combo of foods but that’s what I had written down, I’m not a brave soul and didn’t venture too far away from simple foods. After 3 days of eating like that, I felt awesome–immediately I had energy. I was a headless chicken running wild–never felt better. Within a week, I had baked 15 dozen cookies (I’m not kidding) and put them in the freezer. I love to bake cookies but just don’t do it because they are laying around and I end up eating them all. I had absolutely no cravings for sugar at all. I could sit there and actually bake the cookies and not even taste-test one of them. The freezer got full, but I sent a bunch home with my brother (he’s a bean pull–no weight worries there) and he was happy to try out all the cookies. After losing all this weight, everyone wanted to know how I did it and I told them. I gave them the knowledge but couldn’t make them do it. My mom turned up to be borderline diabetic just a couple of months ago, she started the diet and now weighs less than me now. I sit down with my pile of food and just make myself eat it just to feed my system. It’s tasteless, bland food but that’s all your body really requires. So why aren’t I hungry? I think its the amount of carbs. I truly believe that if you eat too many carbs, your body does crave more. So this is just the right amount. My husband wanted to start eating the bland foods that I was. I packed his meals for two days, labeling everything, counting out 16 peanuts, etc. He came home from work and said he had never felt better after the foods he ate that day. I’m not one with time on my hands to pack and schedule his menu for his life so that was the last he chose to eat that way. I gave him the books, told him to figure out what foods he liked and make a plan, a menu. I lost him right there, it’s too hard. I have tried so many diets. I’ve tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, Slim-fast, etc. I’ve tried all the diet pills so much that I think I became immune to them Metabolife, Dexatrim, Hoodia even tried the (genuine) ephredrine stacker (ephredrine, caffeine, and aspirin). I could have killed myself. I guess what I’m saying is…I’m glad I have found something that has worked for me–I know its not the same for everyone but I truly hope that each individual finds what fits them the best. I can put the information out there and I can teach this style of eating but whether or not, it works for people, is up to them. I’m done with fad diets and all the diet pills. Not saying they won’t work, but what happens when you want to quit taking them? You’ve established nothing to prepare yourself to get off of them. I had a friend tell me I should try the Alli (?) diet pill. In one ear and out the other. Why? I’ve found something that works for me, it doesn’t cost a fortune because I buy food and not pills. I think everyone reaches a point that they come to terms that there is no miracle drug out there.

I weighed in today and am down 3.5 lbs. Little progress, but enough to get me boosted and feeling on Cloud 9 today.

I know I’ve lost. I can feel it and in the morning I’ll get on the scales for the true number. Feeling more up about things now. I apologize for venting in my last blog but I actually feel better for doing so. There are things in my life I would love to change but in order to change them, I have to find the strength within myself. In order to find the strength I have to somehow overcome the hurdles in my world right now and be able to conquer them–afterall, this won’t be the last time in my life that I will have hurdles. Just getting there to find the strength is where I’m at now. Knowing that I’m back to taking the pounds off has been a tremendous boost to my esteem. So for the last couple years, this Zone Diet has been the only way of eating that I have had results with,  been able to stick with, and been able to quickly pop back into the groove when I have a binge. I looked up a couple of recipes last night and added the ingredients to my shopping list. I now have sun-dried tomatoes and herb chicken in the crock pot as we speak. I’m a plain girl myself and would rather choose to eat my cottage cheese and veggies for my meals but figured I’d try and spice things up with some new meal ideas. I bought the big thick recipe book of meals that are in the zone and last summer tried some very tasty smoothies. I also had some bad luck too but I’ll never know if I’ll like it unless I try it.  So kind of anxious to see if the family will be eating my chicken tonight or ordering pizza.

Okay, haven’t been doing so good on blogging or the workout tracker but I’m still hanging in there. Got some things cleared away at the months end so feeling like I’m making headway. Plus, got on the scales this morning (damn the scales) and have lost some…crossing my fingers, hope it lasts until Wednesday for weigh-in day. I’d like to see my graph go down rather than up; afterall that is my goal, to lose weight, not gain. lol  I go to bed at night and if I don’t have a clear head, I start thinking about everything and it keeps me up for hours. To meet me, you wouldn’t ever think that I had a negative thought in my head but I do constantly. Sometimes I wonder if the negativity is well beyond normal. So yes, I’m self-employed–here’s the kicker, I do at-home-daycare. I left my job as a graphic artist to stay at home, get my license and take care of my son, along with several others to make ends meet. At first, I thought, how fun playing with the kids all day. Little did I know what I’d really be facing: my new house is looking like a tornado has hit it, my hands are tore up because I’m a germ-freak and invest in bleach like its going out of style, I deal with parents that say they don’t have time to write out a check, I deal with parents who drop their screaming kiddos off early because they can’t handle them anymore and can’t wait to get to work, etc… If you read this blog and take your kids to daycare, please tell them that you appreciate them. This is the most degrading job I have ever done. Starting daycare, my husband was constantly on to me about keeping the house clean, keeping the laundry done, having supper fixed by the time he got home from work…because, afterall I was the one staying at home. I’ll never forget him saying "While you’re at home eating bon-bons and chocolate donuts, don’t you think you can get the house cleaned up?" It took me a year to time manage doing preschool with the kids, doing laundry with the little ones running around, paying bills, keeping my own kid in line. Three years of this, and here’s where I am: dead. I feel dead inside, I don’t know if me going back to work will ever be able to repair my marriage, I have forgotten who I am, what I’m good at, and if I’m worthy of anything. After staying at home, you tend to avoid social situations because your speech becomes child-like, you think everyone looks down on you for the type of work you do. I lost all connection to the "outside world". My brother started going to a bar about 30 minutes away from my house. I went out with him one night. In one night, I felt like a person again. It’s the place where everyone is your friend. I had found my new outlet. I have to say this, I know a bar is not the healthiest place to hang out and is kind of odd for a married woman to be there. I started looking forward to dressing up on Saturday nights, putting on makeup, even bought new clothes. I started losing weight, everybody noticed and everybody out there made a point to tell me so. Each week I’d go out there, I’d lose some more. It kept me on my diet just so I could get that special attention. I’ve got to say, I probably wouldn’t have had such luck with my weightloss if I hadn’t had the group of people supporting me along the way. Plus, I was getting exercise, because I learned every line-dance to speak of and danced every chance I could get. The "going out" took a tole on my husband. He never actually told me that I was looking really good and that I looked great when I went out on Saturday nights but I heard that from someone else later. So, not wanting to piss anyone off, I stayed at home. I bought a new sewing machine. This was my new found "outlet". I could stay in the basement and sew for hours–I sewed clothing for the kids in my care, blankets, a couple of motorcycle seats, clothes for my son, etc. That soon took a tole on my husband too–he didn’t like the fact that I was within hearing distance when he was at home. I joined a gym here in town and started going early in the morning but I had to quit because my dog was so restless the whole time I was gone, she would jump on and off the bed, waking him up and then he was losing sleep. So here I am. Here’s the strange thing. I haven’t been back out to the bar for a long time but this is my birthday weekend and they always make a point to celebrate your birthday out there, so I’m going. I’m excited–I get to dress up and put make-up on and see my friends who are going to tell me that I look like I’ve lost more weight. So I am actually busting my butt to work hard this week–I actually have something to look forward to. I regret not kicking butt a little bit more to look really awesome. So I’m laying in bed last night thinking I’ve been so down in the dumps (dead) because I’ve lost myself again. Someone on here says "diet, exercise, and mind; all elements have to be there before you can achieve your goals". My mind and spirit seems to be with me only a quarter of the time. Looking forward to this weekend and I think that’s why everything is coming together but then what–what happens next week when I have nothing to look forward to, no time span for results and then compliments that I seem to need getting through this?