Trudee’s BodyBlog

Dh and I had a frightening start to our morning.  I got up to go to the bathroom after my alarm went off and as I was heading out I saw a flashlight being swung around in our living room downstairs.  It’s 3: 45 AM and I have 2 girls sleeping within 10 feet.  All of a sudden I hear DH’s name being hollered over and over.  It was my FIL and he was frantic because he got a call that they had cattle out down the road and they had made it all the way out to the highway which is about .25 miles aways from their lot.  This is the first time in 7 years that the cattle at our place have gotten out.  To make matters worse after they were out there for about 10-15 minutes it started POURING rain complete with lightening and thunder.  DH had to come back in and put his contacts in because he couldn’t see anything with his glasses.  He’s been gone over an hour now, not a good way to start the day

Everything has been crazy around here.  I think the kids at school are all high on turkey smells.  They have been bouncing off the walls.  We get out an hour early today and then have until next Monday off.  I have my turkey trot Thursday and a long run planned for Saturday morning otherwise nothing to major going on.  It would be nice to have some downtime but I’m not big on relaxing.  I like to but my body doesn’t.

Today was a brisk 3 mile walking DVD.  I won’t run again until after my race/run on Thursday.  After my long run on Saturday I’m taking a week off from running and just doing some Walking DVD’s or walking on the treadmill.  I will continue with my weights but hold off on the running.

My Dec. routine looks like this:

M-Front DVD

T-5 mile run

W-Full Body workout with heavy weights from Men’s Health Mag.

Th-5 mile run with hills and intervals

Fri-Back DVD

Sat-Long run/walk of at least 12 miles alternating with Cardio X and stretching

Sun-Jillian DVD and a run with a friend alternating with Cardio X and stretching

I will be back later today to write another longer blog about some things going through my mind but right now I have some emails and PM’s I would like to catch up on!

*Warning*  This blog may contain a lot of complaining, do not read any further if you can’t handle it

I may be the only person BUT I hate weekends.  I hate being off schedule.  I crave consistency.  I’m a bad spur of the moment person.  My eating goes bad over the weekends.  I have more time to dwell on bad thoughts.  I hate having nothing to do. I can not STAND to sit around so I drive everyone crazy because I’m always doing something.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to do things with my girls (DH works 7 days a week but that would be a whole other blog LOL).  I like that I have a little extra time to chat with friends on the computer or catch up with email.  I also like that I have the extra time to get in a long run.  I think I’m just VERY overwhelmed right now.  I’m trying to turn my ED around, while taking care of 2 kids, working 5 days a week, planning the church Christmas program (I have a bahhumbug attitude this year), keeping the house clean, cooking, and doing laundry , and fitting in social time ALL BY MYSELF.  The sad thing is the first thing to take to the back burner is my ED, it’s the whole everyone else first thing which is BAD, BAD, BAD.  Sometimes it’s easier to go to work than face everything I have to get done at home.

Ok on to better things…

My weekend workout left me DRAINED by 8 am Sunday morning.  I got in around 36 miles this week and 18 of it was Sat and Sun.  Sat was a 12 mile run, Sun. was 6.  I was so out of it by the time I got done Sunday my words were slurring and my eyelids weighed about 100 pounds.  I couldn’t even think straight.  All I could think about was getting to the couch and shutting my eyes.  It was more lack of food than overdoing it.  I don’t restrict but I don’t think I always eat to compensate for my extra running.  Even with my YUMMY pizza my body couldn’t keep up.  The next few days are all about taking it easy before my run on Thursday.  I won’t be running again until then but I will be doing light cardio just to keep them warm.  I’m a little more refreshed today.

Today’s workout was LEGS.  I used the band for most of them to try not to put too much stress on them.  225 squats later I’m not sure if I accomplished that goal???  LOL.  I did high reps for the exercises- 25 with band  15 with weights  I will be sore tomorrow but it will fade quickly (hopefully)  I did my workout in shorts today (I usually have pants on) and it helped to see my legs as they were working.  It didn’t make them seem so LARGE and chubby.

Other news:  My trainer sent me a text yesterday and asked if I wanted to do a mini-tri with her this summer.  I responded by telling her I have an intense fear of drowning and don’t swim.  The swimming part is in a pool…ok I might be able to handle that???  The swim is 150 meters, bike 10 miles, run 3 miles.  The run is first, then the bike, then the swim so I could very well drown by then!  I was warming up to the idea but then I checked the date and it’s the weekend BEFORE a Half Marathon I wanted to do.  So now I have to decide…try something new or do my Half to try to better my time???  I wouldn’t be in it to win it LOL but I think it might be….fun!

I went to get groceries yesterday and with my 6 year old in tow is was less than fun   My gorcery trips are usually mini cardio sessions.  I zoom all over the store and a brisk walking pace.  My 6 year old drags her feet…not a good combo.  Everytime I tried to read a label she was off price checking things which isn’t all that bad BUT the store was pretty crowded.  I was proud of her in the produce aisle though.  She brought me a bag of BIG carrots and said "Oh MOMMY can we get these PLEASE, they look so yummy!  What a great thing to hear!!

I better get my day started…a mom’s work is never done

Today I decided to by pass the scale in the upstairs bathroom and just keep going downstairs and use that bathroom.  My belly flab looked flatter to me so I did measure and it was.  So my point here is I’m sure the scale wasn’t going to say what I wanted it to and I would’ve been pissy and frustrated through my whole workout.  Instead I was happy about my measurements and had a great workout.  You would think I would learn my lesson!  LOL  I have also found that my belly looks good or bad depending on the type of clothes I have on!  If they are low rise alot of my extra skin tends to hang and I look fat.  If they are my medium rise work pants everything is in and no hangover on the side and my belly looks flatter SO I’m done with the low rise.  I need to buy some new more flattering jeans.  I have a couple of pair I LOVE but they are getting old so I can’t wear them to work on jeans Friday.  I tired of feeling frustrated because I look chubby one day and good the next.

I have to share an incident from yesterday.  This is National Education Week and with working at the school there have been all sorts of things brought in.  One day there were 5 bags of candy on the table.  Yesterday the Principal ordered Jumbo pizzas for the staff at lunch.  Which is great and thoughtful but 1) I don’t eat mean and 2) it was DRIPPING with grease which would’ve meant a stomach issue later.  So I got my lunch out and heated it up and ate admist the pizza boxes.  I could feel the stares and the eye rolls but OH WELL.  My feelings are if I’m going to eat something like that it’s gonna be worth it.  It’s going to my FAVORITE pizza from my favorite pizza place.  I do splurge and eat pizza but I make it worth it…no half ass foods for me.  In their defense most women only took 1 slice (they were HUGE) and I saw the one next to me blotting the grease   I have come to the place in life where I will splurge but it’s going to be the REAL thing and it’s going to be AWESOME!  I guess you could call me a food snob  HAHA

My workout was tough but good this morning.  I was breathing pretty heavy throught out the routine.  Today was chest,shoudlers/tris, some ABS.  I love working my shoulders.  They are my favorite body part.  My arms are def. exhausted.  I did some extra reps today with some of the exercises so that was a ego boost.  One more week on my  body part split and then I’m going to do some DVD’s for awhile.  Jillian Michael’s Front/Back set.  I had a routine wrote out but something else just popped in my head so we’ll see LOL.  I need to see how long each routine is first???  It doesn’t say on the cases.  I have all of her DVD’s (I have a DVD addiction BAD)…oh well could be worse things.  I have 3 new ones picked out for Christmas but I need to clear old ones out.

I have a little extra time this morning so I’m going to indulge and finish reading one of my books   I LOVE to read.  I’m finishing up the Gossip Girls series right now.  I read a lot of the teen books…really like them!!

So on to start my day!

Yesterday I encountered a HUGE misunderstanding with a friend and it caused both of us some stress for the day   Through several PM’s we were able to work it out through honesty and caring.  That’s the one thing I HATE about the internet…one person may write something in a positive way and the other reads it as a not so nice thing LOL .  Part of my recovery has involved being honest with myself and other people.  I let too many people walk all over me in the past.  I held it in until I almost wasted away.  I vowed not to do that anymore.  I decided I would be honest with the people I cared about when they hurt my feelings or I disagreed (in a nice way) and I would say SO LONG to the emotional suckers that pulled me down.  I’ve also learned to suck it up and apologize when I’m wrong.  Whether it’s a student at school or my husband (but I’m always right with that one so I hardly ever have to apologize LOL)  if I am wrong I will say I am sorry.  I know what it feels like to be hurt and have people walk away and act like it was fine and I don’t want anyone else to feel that hurt.  I always try to say things in a nice way but I still hate if people are upset with me but honesty to me has become more important.  I think I have more respect for myself and others have more for me when I don’t hover in the corner.  I also feel better all around when I let someone know how I feel.  I also think that if someone wants to be in my life then we have to be able to be honest and open.  Needless to say my friend and I aired our feelings are on the same page now.  I’m looking forward to our journey together …bumps and all

Today was a speed endurance day and I have to say DAMN I’m getting good.  The intervals aren’t seeming as hard.  I’m going to stick with this until Jan and redo my whole workout for a fresh start.  My speed intervals were between 5.5 and 6.4  I did my hill climbing at the 5.5 intervals.  I logged 4 miles of running and cooled down with 1 mile walking.

My neck is a little better today.  I can look to my right without swiveling my WHOLE body LOL.  After I get off the computer I will be icing it.  It’s giving me a headache too so I’m sure some Tylenol is in my future!

I have one major goal in life as far as my body goes and it’s this:

I want to be fit, healthy, and not so obsessive about food and exercise. 

Feeling comfortable with my workouts and my body is more important to me than lifting 200 pounds.  My goal is not to be ripped (I don’t have the stmaina to maintain a ripped body 365 days a year nor do I have the time) but to look fit and healthy and be active until the day I die.  The  less obsessive I have become about food I’m actually looking BETTER.  I want a lean runner’s body. I was actually FASTER when I was smaller.  I could run a 26 min 5K and now it about kills me!  I still want sculpted muscle, I just don’t want/need big muscles.  I think the women on this site look AMAZING and I am in awe of them and their hard work but for most that’s their lifestyle/job because they are competitors.  I’m a competitior too…I’m a runner.  My needs are slightly different then most people on this site.  Don’t get me wrong I bust my ASS everytime I work out and work hard every run I do but by taking away some of the outside interference I’m less stressed and more able to cope with my exercise rather than dread it.  I also feel that I work harder when I’m not dreading it or feeling like I’m going to pass out.  I do think you can get a good workout without lifting heavy weights.  Heavy weights aren’t for everyone.  I like a middle ground…let’s say medium weights LOL.  I don’t think I’m spinning my wheels because I don’t lift heavy.  If my running is improving and I can see my muscles in the mirror when I lift how can I not be getting somewhere???  I am starting to see the cut in my arms and my shoulders look bigger…something is working.  I’m not an idiot because I ask questions.  To me knowledge is power and I LOVE to pick people’s brains and get their ideas and perspectives on things.  That’s why I ask questions…not because I have no clue but because I want to see what works for other people and get new IDEAS.  I LOVE and appreciate all the advice and kind words I receive through my blog and PM. 

What I do for a workout DOES not reflect on anyone else nor does it make me less of a person (my own words and feelings…no one said this to me).  I am getting stronger and faster and I’m HAPPY and excited about working out again and THAT is what matters.  I’m slowly starting to like what I’m seeing in the mirror and that is a big step for me.  I need to accept for my body and LOVE it for what it does for me…even if I don’t like my weight   or my extra flab  LOL

Onto my workout LOL.  Today was back and bi’s.  I loved it but my arms are still on fire.  I did 15 reps on most exercises unless I used 15 pound DB’s then I could only do 8 reps.  I woke up with a stiff neck so I wasn’t sure how it would go today…seemed fine though.  It took a full 45 minutes to get through.  I did supersets of 3 sets per rotation.  I feel good!

I think my positive workout yesterday had a big impact on my run today.  I felt good the whole time and my body didn’t feel like 105 pounds of pure lead.  I did a 5 mile endurance run.  I’m still doing the program I got from Runner’s World and I really like it so I think I will stick with it.  Thursday is speed day and every other Thursday afternoon I run with a friend for 5-6 miles.

My legs are sore today but it’s a different soreness.  It’s not the lead feeling but the worked feeling.  I really do enjoy the 10-15 rep range and plan on going back to that.  When I say I lift heavy I could only do 5-6 reps…sometimes 8 at the most.  I probably would’ve seriously hurt myself at 10.  My bones don’t ache today just my muscles.  I still use 15 lb DB’s so it’s not all that light but to some I’m sure it seems like tossing a ball LOL.  Oh well it seems to work for me.  I have also deflated my belly with lack of stress about the workouts so that’s a HUGE bonus!

I have an Amazon.com addiction that goes along with my workout DVD addiction.  I found 3 new ones I really want.  I keep reminding myself Christmas is coming up.  I love the Biggest Loser workouts and there are 2 new ones and a new Jackie Warner one.  I’m also looking at the New York City Ballet one and a few geared towards runners.  I need to get rid of some of the really easy ones I have to make room for the more advanced ones!

I changed my workout up a bit today and the effects were totally unexpected.  I did my normal leg workout BUT I decided to forgo the heavy weights for this week to see how it goes and see how my body responds.  I only used DB’s on a few exercises (still the heavy weighted ones) but I used my own body weight/my stability ball (hamstring curls) or my reisistance band.  I upped the reps to 15 which was hard on some of them LOL.  I supersetted the exercises for even more burn.  OMG my butt and thighs were on FIRE!  Usually they just feel fatigued but they were sore,sore,sore.  I was sweating within the second set and I’m still feeling a burn in my glutes!  The biggest kicker is I always walk for 15 minutes on the TM after my weights.  Normally I get right on and go.  When I started it today my legs were like lead and I could barely do it! LOL  Now I’m not an expert but I’m guessing I got a better leg workout today than I have it the past and I didn’t use heavy weights.  Sometimes I think heavy weights stresses my body out quite a bit…like it’s too much for it to handle.  I’m not looking to be super huge and ripped.  I like the muscles I have now but wouldn’t mind having them grow a little but I’m not obsessed about it.  I came away with a postive attitude today from my workout not a defeated one and than equals success to me.

I started reading Jillian Michael’s book Master Your Metabolism last night and it is VERY interesting.  My hormones are obviously out of whack due to no period and acne (proactiv has come to the rescue LOL).  I really like what I have read so far and it makes perfect sense.  I also have a lot of the issues she lists in her book to identify if you have a hormonal issue.  Maybe the book might actually get me to go to the dr….MAYBE!

I had a good weekend.  12 mile run on Saturday and lunch out with my daughters.  Sunday my oldest and I had a date.  We went to see the This is It, The Michael Jackson story.  She LOVED it.  I thought it was pretty good too but I LOVE his music and dancing.  2 hours flew by!  Yes we had popcorn but didn’t add butter. 

I did my first P90X DVD today just to get a feel for things.  It was Cardio X and it was supposed to be the low impact one.  Low impact my ass…I’m gonna get my butt kicked come January.  I’m thinking of maybe waiting a little bit longer LOL.  I also attempted the ab ripper dvd-OUCH  I couldn’t breath after about 5 minutes.  I guess these are for beginners LOL.

I’m heading out for a 10-12 mile run in a bit with a friend.  It will be nice and slow to start out with and then I will prob do some intervals to try to burn some fat.  I weighed myself today for the final time this month.  My weight was just a few tenths above normal and my BF dropped a little.  My waist stayed about the same though it looks more toned.  I really wish I wasn’t such a slave to the scale

I did my Dec. workout and I am going to be doing the Jillian Michael’s DVD’s…The Front/Back Series.  I have never done them before so we’ll see how it goes.  I kept my leg day for this time around and we’ll see how it plays out.  My legs look chubbier than before I started a leg day so I’m not sure I like that???  I’ve gained a lot of fat in my lower body in the thigh and upper butt area.  I’ll see how the next 6 weeks go and judge it then.

My motivation that is???  I’m not sure what happened but I dread weight days now   In the back of my mind I think it’s my body’s way of trying to cope with the stress of the heavy workouts.  I’ve been doing the split routine now for 6 weeks and I have decided I don’t like it.  I feel stressed out by the end because it’s so hard.  I’ve added a lot of belly flab in the last few weeks and am wondering if it’s cortisol overdrive.  I did a front/back workout over the summer and I LOVED it.  It was during that time that I noticed the most change in my body comp.  I’m battling on whether to ride out the split for 2 more weeks or switch to a front/back or do some DVD’s to give my body a little rest???  I’m not sure if I will keep leg day…I prob will for now and see how it goes.  I’m supposed to start P90X in Jan but I know if I stay in the fatigued condition and mindset I’m in now  I’ll never make it.  I really think these strressful workouts are messing with my mind.  I’m an all or nothing person so I don’t give up

Today was Chest/Shoulders/Tris and I worked them to failure and then some.  I tri-setted exercises and did it for 3 sets of 5 different sets of 3’s…does that make sense LOL.  My upper body is on fire.  I finished with 15 mins of brisk walking.

There is no school today which means no work and us girls are home alone AGAIN.  DH has been in the field for 2.5 months straight now and I’m going crazy.  The girls really miss him too and are starting to act up some.  On Sunday my oldest DD and I are going to see a movie together and have some one on one time.  This will be VERY hard for me because she tends to drive me a little crazy LOL.  She is very excited so I’m going to take a step back and have a good time.  Not sure yet what we are seeing.  She is 8 and wants to see the new A Christmas Carol which I think would scare the crap out of my 6 year old so it may be a good choice to go together.

In honor of my good friend AL I have a youtube song for everyone but I don’t know how to add them in so go to youtube.com and type in Reflection by Christina Aquliera

My computer is not working this morning so I’m typing this on my blackberry so it will be short and sweet.
Today was speed day. I went 3 miles of speed and hill intervals and then finished the last 2 at 5.5 and 5 mph.
I had a really bad day yesterday. I felt on the verge of tears most of the day and of course didn’t want to eat.