Trudee’s BodyBlog

It’s been a week since I’ve been able to blog.  I’m doing pretty good.  My workouts are great and I’m seeing a definite slimmer figure (I will take pics on Friday).  All my pants require a belt now but my weight has gone up LMAO (This is where kimm4 beats me over the head along with a few others).  I have been lifting heavy 2 days a week and then doing high reps in the middle which seems to be great for me and I have less joint issues.  I have also started taking a supplement for that

My ED likes to try to rear it’s ugly head but I try very hard daily to supress it and tell myself it’s ok to eat, it’s ok to enjoy food, it’s ok to fuel my body.  Apparently I’m not doing to good because a person commented to me on Facebook that didn’t know my past that she could tell from my posts that I either had an ED or was a former ED person-YIKES. I guess it goes to show how warped my mind can be.  I didn’t think I was saying anything out of the ordinary???  This person knows me just not my past and she and I were talking about WL (she lost 175 and has kept it off for 4 years) and I told her about my ED and then she preceeded to tell me she could tell???  She had anorexia in HS so I guess it’s easier to point out the behaviors.

I will just keep heading forward and take one day at a time.  I have gone back to rewarding myself for a good week…ie non or VERY little restriction, not overexercising, not bingeing.  I did set some goals and I have almost met 2 of them.  I have to be careful because I’m a perfectionist and 9 times out of 10 if I say I’m going to do something I do whatever it takes to get it done.

Workout:

Jari Love Ripped to the Core-60 minutes/high reps

Walking

PS I’ve cut back on some cardio so thumbs up for me

I’m still around and kicking my own ass BUT I’m having MAJOR computer problems at home.  I haven’t been able to check my email from home in 2 days which is annoying the hell out of me.  I also can’t get anything other than my homepage to come up.  It makes me want to pull my hair out.

On a good note my workouts have been going great.  I’m still a little shakey from this morning…go me LOL.

I did my 5 mile run in the morning yesterday and then 4 in the afternoon.  It felt good but it was a hard run because I was so stressed out from the computer thing and work has been horrible so it makes it hard to run.

My strength workout this morning was GREAT.  I loved every heart pounding minute of it!  I feel tough and ready to go LOL.  I even checked myself out in the mirror after and I had a nice pump.

I’m getting ready to order some more supplements while I have a 10% coupon.  Now the fun begins trying to decide which ones.

Workout

45 minutes Heavy Strength

Walking

I did another Jari Love DVD this morning and it was HIGH reps with lower weights.  I switched between 5’s and 8’s, sometimes starting out with the 8’s but by the 3rd set losing form and switching to the 5’s.  By the time it was over my whole body was shaking and my triceps still HURT!!!  Tomorrow is a cardio day so I should be fine

Today is picture day at school-UGH.  I have to have mine take for the class composite-YAHOO.  Work has been going better now that we are in a schedule.  I still hate being at work and having to be at work at 8:15.  I feel like I’m getting nothing done at home which adds to my stress.  I like being busy but not SUPER busy LOL.

The weather is cooling off here and I’m looking forward to soups/stews and trying new recipes.  I made a meatloaf to die for this past weekend!!!  I love meatloaf LOL  I also love my veggie chili which I’m sure will be a staple for this winter.

Workout:

60 min Jari Love DVD

Walking

I’m feeling a lot better today.  I really have noitced that a lot of my negative behaviors and feeling stem around 1 time of the month…damn hormones.  Yesterday I had the last small piece of cake and was FINE.  I got a great workout in Monday morning so maybe that made a difference in my attitude.

Today was a cardio day.  I did a 25 min video and then ran 3 miles with hill intervals.  I have to say AGAIN how much I love my workout routine this month.  It’s challenging but doable.  I haven’t woke up once yet and thought GOD help me get through.  DOn’t worry…they are tough but not overwhelming.  I’m seeing big results in my body comp but not my weight and I’m trying really hard to be ok with that

Workout:

Cardio DVD

3 mile run

It was my daughter’s birthday this weekend and I vowed to have some ice cream but I REALLY wanted to stear clear of the cake.  My weekend was very stressful with 2 birthday parties and I (clearly I admit out of emotion) I had a little cake but loaded up on the frosting.  Ok so I prob. took in an extra 500 calories which you would think I would be ok with considering I walked for an hour in the morning AND on Saturday I ran 17 miles so no big deal RIGHT.  Well I have a HORRIBLE confession to make…I did/tried to do something I vowed I would NEVER do.  Ok here goes….I tried to make the cake come back up but it wouldn’t.  I think maybe God was telling me that wasn’t a road I wanted to go down.  I was so anxious the rest of the day because I had eaten the cake.  I know that was the wrong thing to do and I didn’t want to do it but desperation took over.  I have been so stressed lately that I wanted a release.  I know I’m far from recovered with all that has gone on lately.  On the outside I look great, people tell me I look great (which then my mind says…see you’re fine) but the inner demons won’t go away.  I don’t heavily restrict food but I still limit myself.  I don’t work out for hours anymore but I stress if I don’t get close to 90 minutes in.  As I read other people’s blogs/journals, etc and I recognize my own behaviors in their stories I realize my battle my never be over.  I don’t want to be big and muscular, I want to be meduim with less jiggle   Jillian Michael’s has even become bigger in my eyes so I know I have some problems sneaking back up.  Heidismommy is how I would like to look although maybe not AS LEAN with as much muscle but I like the smaller look for myself.  When  a piece of cake makes my world crumble I know I need to work on something in my life.

On a good note…I had a kick ass workout this morning!  I love my bench and am slowly figuring out how it all works and how I can quickly move things around.  I upped my bench press weight so I was happy about that.  I also ran 17 miles on Saturday which is HUGE for me and I felt like I could’ve kept going but I had to get home.  My poor friend ran 10 with me and looked like she was going to die…she said "How the hell do you do that…you’re stilll moving at a good pace"  I said DISTANCE is my thing…get me to 6-7 miles and I’m off.

Workout:

45 minutes Full Body Strength with Heavy weights

10 minute interval sprints

Now that’s what I call a great workout.  My arms AND legs feel like jello.  I figured out the weight bench and can manuver it pretty quickly now and I LOVE it.  I found some skinnier weight plates at Wal-Mart and am going to have DH pick some up for me   I love that I’m able to squat heavier weights on my shoulders instead of holding DB’s which killed and pulled on my shoulders/neck.  I put a towel between the bar and my shoulders and I’m good to go.  I usually lift in my sports bra so I needed something in between.  I can’t say it enough…I am loving this routine I put together for this month.  I’m seeing great results!

I stepped on the scale this morning out of curiousity because my pants/watch/rings have all been falling off or getting VERY loose and I haven’t lost any weight LOL.  Oh well I guess it doesn’t matter…right

PS Wish me luck my baby turns 6 tomorrow and we all know what that means.  I think I will have some ice cream but forgo the cake…we’ll see.  I’ve been trying to stay away from any bakery type treats.

Workout:

45 minutes strength with heavier weights

Walking

EASY-YIKES.  My hard/medium run is almost becoming easy.  I love that I’m getting better but I hate the idea of having to work…gasp…harder LOL.  I will prob continue for another week and then up the speed a bit.  I used to be pouring sweat by the 3rd mile and now I’m still sailing through at the 4th. 

I’ve been super tired so I was planning to take it easy this morning…that was until I overslept and didn’t have the extra time to do that LOL.  I felt good after my run but not overworked.  I’m heading to the track after work to run a few miles and do some bleachers.  My workouts have caught up with my light eating and my body is DEMANDING more food which I think it part of the reason I’m so tired sometimes my word slur and I can barely stand up.  A quick 10 minute stink of laying down with my eyes closed usually fixes that.  I’m leaning more towarda a vegetarian diet 75% of the time.  I’m going to be doing some reading and research on that.  I find it interesting that Bob from the Biggest Loser is a Veg. and he’s in great shape and has nice muscles.

Workout:

5 mile run in AM

2-3 mile run with bleachers after work

Grocery shopping LOL

I did another one of her strength DVD’s today in her get ripped series and I LOVED it.  I can still feel the burn.  It’s med weight/med reps.  It didn’t have any traditional cardio in it but the rate the sets move I got enough.  I’m really loving my new routine and I may keep it for a little while longer as long as it’s still tough for me   I usually switch every 4 weeks.  I may have to up the weights which means buying some heavier plates but I can do it…I deserve it

I had a good/bad deal yesterday.  I had to buy some khakiis for work and I ordered some online in the same size I normally wear.  They came in and they were "snug" meaning they would be perfect after about 30 minutes of wearing them   Yesterday they were HUGE.  I could get them off without undoing them and my belt was pulled all the way-YIKES.  I’m not like most women…instead of bloating at cycle time I actually go down and I’m a week away so we’ll see if the slimness lasts LOL

Workout:

45 minute full body DVD-Jari Love

Walking

Today was a cardio day.  There’s nothing like a good cardio sweat to melt away some stress.  I did a 20 min HI DVD and then a 3 mile incline run on the treadmill.  My upper legs were sore from my squats yesterday so by the 3rd mile it was getting tough.  I pushed through and feel good. 

My body has all of a sudden changed.  It’s like the new routine has kicked in.  I have upped my protein a little (protein from meat eats my stomach so I have been taking a 1/2 to 1 full scoop of protein powder a day).  I’ve been drinking a 32 ounce water with the protein during the morning at school and it staves off my hunger and I get more protein.  I need to just be patient and my body will see me through.

On a GREAT note.  I waved in the mirror last night and hardly anything waved back!!! YEAH!!!  I even flexed and pinched and got hardly anything!   My thighs are opening up again at the top.  So I am making progress just not on the scale.  I am in the process of writing my goals out on paper so I can see them every day.

Workout:

BL HI DVD

3 mile incline run

To quote kimm4 "Mondays are a great day"  Nothing like an awesome Monday morning workout to help put the weekend and whatever food regrets you have behind you.  I didn’t do too bad this weekend.  I did indulge in some homemade ice cream last night BUT it was made with Skim milk and the packaged mix so overly horrible.  A lot of my ED tenedencies are jumping back at me now that I’m gaining weight.  My waist measurement went up some too and that bothers me MORE.  I am constantly focusing on food again and what I’m going to eat when and restricting if I think I ate too much at one meal.  I’ve also been having a tendency to try to skip meals but with my heavy workouts that’s almost impossible.  I’ve become very anxious again whenever I eat and have had the HORRIBLE thought of purging which I have NEVER done before.  I feel out of control when I eat (and I’m prob not anywhere eating a normal amount).  The weight gain is really playing with my head.  I know most will say stay away from the scale but I’d rather see it go up slowly then get on a see I’ve gained 10 pounds.  Right now I’m 5 pounds over what I want to weigh so I will be losing them.  I’m a week away from my cycle so I’m sure that is playing a role in the weight.  I want to have muscle but all I’m doing is gaining a bunch of fat and that is NOT ok with me.  A friend on here looks great at almost 100 pounds (yes small but I like the way she looks).  I’m only 5′1 so 100 pounds is not unrealistic.  I will get there.  I’m going to write out a long term and short term goal and rewards.  I haven’t rewarded myself in so LONG for reaching a goal.  Too much flab is driving me crazy

On a good note my workout kicked ass this morning.  The sweat was pouring and the face was smiling.  I figured out how to get the bar off so I could squat heavier.  I need to try to remember to set things up the night before so I don’t have to stop in the middle of my routine.  I lifted heavy and I feel good.  I then did my sprints on the treadmill and am ready to face my day.

Workout:

Full body-Heavy

Sprints  5 for 2, 6 for 2, 7 for 2, 8 for 2, 5 for 2