2008 Transformation Contest

And here we are, not two small weeks out from the final destination of this contest. The day we all started was the day of happiness and enthusiasm for all. We were just beaming with positive energy radiating it in all directions, and look at us now…

There are few things I learned in my life, and I tend to apply this experience in all the aspects of my life. Hard work pays out in the long run, positive attitude will always get you to the right place, keeping the fun in all the stuff that you do will make even the worst job look like a game. And than I look at my friends from the BodySpace challenge 2008 and I can only see serious people. Serious is what gets you heart attack and nervous break downs , stop being so damn serious. There is one thing for sure, if you can not keep the fun in your workouts and your fitness life style for only three months, how can you expect to do it your entire life?

I can feel you enthusiasm falling down, why? This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life, you are finally changing something for the better and than you loose enthusiasm, LOL.

I just wish I can be there with you all and push you through the hard moments. Instead I can YELL ONLINE: GET OF YOU A$$ AND KEEP ON PUSHING FORWARD

I have learned something important about myself.

It is the combination of hunger WITH restriction that causes binge behavior.

I can live with dietary restrictions.  There are a few times, (lol), I can even go hungry.

However…

I can not do these two things simultaneously.

There are times when one is dieting and feeling on top of the world.  Foods that would ordinarily knock you off that cloud do not even tempt you, because your hunger for success is greater.

Then there are times when one feels low and vulnerable.  Like a hungry little wounded woodland animal.  ANYTHING that crosses the path is liable to become dinner.

DEPRIVATION + HUNGER = RECIPE FOR DIETING DISASTER

Know your vulnerable moments.  When you are vulnerable, DO NOT allow yourself to become hungry.

It is a pacing.  

It is a self knowledge.

Tonight, I know I will be dealing with temptation of both pizza and cake.  Having been restricted from such things for 11 weeks now, I know I am vulnerable.  This means, I know that I cannot walk into the situation hungry.  

I will face this by eating a protein meal before I go, so that my belly is nice and full.  I will order a salad to eat while I am there and drink a large iced tea.  I will stop on my way there to buy a nice large protein bar to eat instead of cake.  I will not feel deprived when cake is being served.

I will leave feeling full and satiated.  

I will leave with the fullness and satisfaction that comes from the INCREDIBLY good feelings of goals accomplished.

Yeah I finally started to loose weight, this morning I am down to 237.6 lbs, down 3.3lbs from the last week. I had to cut calories additionally, but I am adopting fast.

It is interesting how a human organism reacts in situation where it is forced out of balance and make changes. It will do anything to get you back in a comfort zone. Remember that little guy inside of our head, Jumbo talked about a few posts earlier? Well my little man is no jelling at me, he is not screaming and kicking, telling me to stop this nonsense. No, he is a smooth talker, he knows me better than anyone else and he knows I will not react to force. Instead, he uses a more subtle method to make me bend and brake. Sometimes I even don’t notice him dragging me down. LOL am I making any sense LOL

Anyways here are the progress pictures for this week:

OK I just wanted to show some side by side pictures from the day my transformation started back in November 2007 till this day:

A week ago, I was in the throes of carb addiction and impulsive, out of control binge eating.  It was a mental whirlwind; a cyclone.  

This was a three day binge which grew perpetually worse.  In those three days, I managed to gain back 6 of the lbs that I worked so hard to lose in the course of this contest.

I felt terrible for lost progress, but refused to hate myself for stumbling.  Hating yourself only leads to destructive behavior, which leads to more feelings of loss of control.

It took me 7 days to undo the damage of 3.  But I am oh so very happy to report…that I am back down to 137 again today.  (Last week 143.)

20 pounds consciously and intentionally lost!

My goal for the contest was to get to the weight I am today.  I feel I have more to give.  I am upping my personal ante to 24 lbs lost.  Which means, I INTEND to lose 4 more lbs of flab…and flab only please…in the next 21 days!

WISH ME WELL!

By the way…THIS is my supper!  Italian Turkey Sausage with Spring Salad, Ringed Jalepenos, Red Wine Vinegar, Garlic, and Crushed Red Pepper.

2 plates of this!  

Is my diet restrictive?

YES!

Bland and boring?  

ABSOLUTELY NEVER!

Gotta run!  A PM workout is DEFINITELY on the menu!

Last night I didnt get my progress pics taken.  You see there was a civil war going on.  Thats right a civil war with casualities.  Mom verse the kids snow ball fight.  I had no mercy.  It was all out war.  I may have been out numbered four to one but I still prevailed.  Of course I then had to nurse the injured with "mom special hot chocolate" mixture.  They will all live to see another day.  

We were having so much fun that I forgot about pictures, measurements, and weighing.   I woke up this morning and thought, "oh crap, I forgot."  I promise to do them tonight.  I can say I am up 2 pounds last I checked.  Not happy.  Hoping it is just water weight.   I will give an official report tomorrow.

I seem to be unable to move from the dead spot. I am holding the same wight entire week, and no obvious progress is made. I am a bit worried since I am not sure what is the problem. Right now I am trying to experiment with all sorts of stuff. Re-feeding helped with energy levels, but the weight stayed the same. I have also noticed some strength drop but I have so much work through out the day I hardly manage it.

I am currently trying to experiment how much does my blood type has effect on my diet. I found this place on the web that has a great source of info for the food types and what it does to a certain blood type (not a commercial):

click here

I found something about my self reading through all the sources on the subject. most of the food bad for my blood type I already hate to eat. LOL Aside from that I still try to find out how can I use it to my advantage and organize my diet according to my blood type. I think it is worth a shot. Remember I told you I feel bad after a week of eating oats? Well I found all sorts of wheat products are bad for my blood type.

I understand some people say blood type and diet are not that much connected and has too few researches behind it, but I think I will believe to my body. I eat those foods already and I feel if I try and eat only suggested foods and see success, great! Mission accomplished/ If not? Nothing lost nothing gained.

I will make sure I let you people know how it works out for me and remember one thing, not much is left till the end and what ever aces you have up your sleeve be ready to throw it down on the table soon!

I hope you enjoy this weeks video.  I think its one of my favorites.

I had problems posting on the blog for the past few days. I write my blog entry, pres the submit and nothing, returns blank…argh

Actually I am writing this post without even knowing if it will work, well I just hope it will.

Anyways I have a killer week behind me. Besides the gym and regular cardio, we pushed the tempo on the boxing on Saturday and Sunday. Right now I am sitting in my office and writing this post but I really have problems with only sitting. The man I am working out with is a beast and true athlete. I have never saw anyone with such will power and dedication for the sport. Beside the fact he is a true street warrior, the man never had a day competing in a ring, but had more than one on the streets. He’s got scars from an axe on his head and about a million of others on his body and head. If someone would tell me about person like such, I would be thinking hooligan or something like that. But this man is an excellent gym instructor, boxer and kick boxer for the last 25 years, he is with one woman for 17 years and I can see they love each other very much, and also he is chiropractic specialized for spine manipulation. This is not an ordinary man. Just to give you the idea of how dedicated this man is I will tell you a story about him you will find hard to believe.

Some years ago he was diagnosed with appendix inflammation, such condition is only treatable with complete removal of the appendix because of the real life threat of appendix bursting and blood poison and eventual death. Doctor told him the operation was the only way. Slobo (the boxer) asked how long will he not be able to workout, and when they told him two months at least he just got up from the chair and walked to the home. "There is nothing in this world that can make me stop training." - ha was saying, and doctors called him a mad man. Six times over the years his appendix was at the verge or bursting but he just stood there, takes some pain killers and puts some ice on the stomach and tomorrow hi is back in the gym. I am not saying this is an example to follow, and I am sure he will have to remove his appendix some day or die but can you imagine such mind over matter power, to overcome the fear of loosing your life to train another day. I can only dream of such dedication. This man is one of few people I admire in my life and I can only hope I will earn half of his dedication in life.

Anyways here is the workout clip I tried to add last week:

The past few days have been very nice here in Georgia. Weather has been in the mid to high 60’s, today its at 72…humidity is low and there is a slight breeze. It seems that everyone is outside. I took a quick ride into town, and your either in a drop top sports car or a motorcycle…the roads are loaded with people seeking Solace in this great weather.
Since I’ve spent the last few weeks prepping for the move, construction work in the area we are supposed to move, and moving itself. I havent had a chance to play, and do much with my 2 year old Daughter. So today after dropping Mommy off for the Wedding Shower of a Friend…..we hit the roads for a Father Daughter day.

We start the afternoon out with a bite to eat, we got Ansley’s favorite….Chicken and Fries…or as she would say it…Ticken and Friiiiiiiiiieeeeeees. And of course the Ketchup better know in 2 year old land as "Bip" more Bip please!.
After feeling to our hearts content we took a ride to the nearest Park….Park 1 was jam packed no place to put the car, so on to option B Park 2.

Park 2 was also packed but has plenty of parking, the sheer joy on a 2 year olds face when you pull into a park with swings, sand, slides and everyting in between is pure bliss. It makes you smile knowing how happy they are. Watching all the other little ones run around, smiling faces or other parents and grandparents. Its all worth a smile.

After spending some time at the park we headed home, and the little one didnt make it 2 miles…………dead asleep in the car seat.

I wish every day was as nice as today, I love the outdoors and doing stuff with my daugther. She is an absolute sweetheart (minus all the 3:00am wake up calls).

Its amazing how much Solace you can find in just spending time with the ones you love, in great weather, where everyone is having a great day at the Park!

My 2 year old seen here………

Dont let that innocent face fool you, she has daddy wrapped around that pinky already.

purest feeling.
purest feeling.
well i think i’m gonna push it as far as it will go.
give in to desire.
only you will know.
so tell me all your secrets.
i’ll stick it in your head.
i wish i could remember everything she said.

-NIN

I got in my double workout today.  30 minutes in the morning, 90 minutes at night.  Took my youngest daughter with me.  She thinks it’s fun…the gym has cable.  

My feet were doing some serious cramping the whole time I was on the elliptical.  Every step..ouch..ouch..ouch!  Perhaps I need potassium?  Just worked right through it. By the time I moved on to the weights, it was over with.

21 sets for my tris.  I try to do less sets, I really do.  But my body just won’t stop after 12 or 16.  So I keep on going.

Tonight I was working in between 3-4 real big guys.  All of them working their delts.  Lateral and front raises going on all around me.  

For a moment, I saw myself, the middle aged lady in between all of these young pups.  The boys working delts…the girl working triceps.  Them working hard, me working hard.  I was reminded of the Sesame Street Song…

"One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,

Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?”

Sometimes I think it is really funny the degree to which I work out, the degree to which I strive.  I have to stifle a smile sometimes when I am down there straining away.  Tonight I was doing pullovers with a 55 lb dumbbell.  I was bench dipping with a 45 lb plate on my lap.  Close grip DB presses with 75…and would have gone higher if I had someone to hand off a DB.  

I love every blinking second of it.

But the thought does cross my mind.  

I am 37 years old!  I’m not supposed to be MORE active, I’m supposed to be comfortably settling down to LESS.  I’m supposed to be working 20 lbs on a machine somewhere.

I think these thoughts, and then I think of Ms Fitness, working the Gaspari booth with Marzia Prince at the Arnold tonight.  I think of 39 year old, mother of four, Ms Fitness, working out like a wild and crazy banshee, pumping that iron like a man, a wicked gleam in her eye…and I think….SHEESH!  I’m alright!  

It seems the only rules in this day and age…is that THERE ARE NO RULES.

I can be whoever I want to be!  It’s a GLORIOUS feeling.  

The purest feeling.

To my fellow competitors; to myself:

Words from one who knows the true meaning of overcoming adversity.

Helen Keller-

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.”

“Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.”

And finally-

“Be of good cheer.  Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow.  You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles.  Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”

This week you catch me in the midst of a big black hole.  I am a swirling vortex of negative energy, sucking up anything that crosses my path.  I have been binging for a week.  Well, what started out as some sane and sensible eating out with the family, somehow turned into something else.  Right now I am quite frankly, sick in the head.  Don’t walk in front of me…or I might…eat…you.

This is frankly, NOT ABOUT FOOD.  This is about winning…and what I am learning to be….my INTENSE FEAR of winning.  There is something dreadfully amiss, and I am digging deep down to find the root cause of it.  Whether I find and root it out in time to recover myself for the remainder of this contest, only time will tell.

Hang in there with me as I attempt to find myself, my inner motivations, and what it is that is holding me back.

I am up 6 pounds from a week ago.  Why is there a part of myself that likes me better this way?  That is a part of the puzzle I am working on.  What is it exactly, that I am so very scared of?

I do know this.  I am in the process of throwing all outdated modes of thinking BEHIND me.  I no longer believe that my strength is found in weakness.  I no longer believe that to love my life is to lose it.  I no longer believe.

I believe in spirit.  I believe in truth.  I believe in love.

Pictures to come later tonight.  Be prepared for some jelly belly.  

Hold out good thoughts and positive energy in my name.  Keep telling me I look good thinner…until I begin…to believe it.

Today is progress day.  The day we hold our breath and hope the scale moves in the right direction.  Today my scale is not my friend. It increased my weight by 3 pounds.  Now I am sure this is just water weight or something. I would have had to be really naughty to gain three pounds in a week and I know I wasnt.  Sure there were temptations but I over came those.

In a little bit I will make my way to the design department and get measured. Hopefull we will see some losses there.  LOL
Here are this weeks pics