2008 Transformation Contest

I live and train intuitively.  Even with this transformation contest, my diet is a mixture of KNOWLEDGE and BODY INTUITION.

I have found through lifelong experience, that the more I listen to that small quiet voice on the inside, the happier I will be.

We learn fairly young to ignore our bodies.  Depending upon parenting styles, it can begin as early as infancy.  My inner psychologist/sociologist often wonders about the link/connection between enforced infant feeding schedules and obesity.

If our parents do not squash our natural born instincts, soon enough the institution of school will.  What in the world can be the least bit natural about young, energetic 5 year olds sitting still at a desk all day?  And if you get hungry at that desk, there is no freedom to get up and satiate that hunger.  So you sit, and you wait.  You sit and you wait a little longer.  Until that hunger grawing at your stomache threatens to devour you.

This is the way of life for most of us.  A life long process of learning to ignore the natural.  A live long process of squashing our natural impulses.  Until at last, we are so out of touch with our bodies, that we do not realize we are stiff until our muscles pinch and freeze.  We do not realize we are fat until we can’t fit into the booth at Denny’s.  We do not realize we are unhappy until we walk out of the psychiatrist office with a prescription in our hands.  

I did LSD as a teenager.

Once, twice, perhaps three times. 

One of the greatest, long lasting memories I received from that experience was my experience with FOOD under it’s psychedelic influence.

I have always had a thing for CHIPS.  Crunchy, salty, full of flavor and MSG…what’s not to love?  I remember reaching for a bag of chips under the influence of LSD and tasting….ICK.  It was DEAD, LIFELESS, FOOD.  I could taste the artificialness of it.  The lack of nutrients, of quality, of anything which was real.

So I reached into the refrigerator, and after many years of not drinking milk, I reached for the carton.  

Ahhhhhhhhhh…..LIFE.  GOODNESS.  BLISS AND GRACE.  It was delightful, sweet,…nourishing.

I crunched into an apple.  Again,…the ALIVENESS of it was what struck me.  The inherent HEALTH.  The RIGHTNESS of it.

It has been over 2 decades since I tripped the light fantastic.  While I don’t recommend it, I certainly do not regret it.  

For I learned something I will never forget, and which I still return to daily.

IF YOU LISTEN…..YOUR BODY WILL TELL YOU THE ANSWERS.

Hi everyone!  Well strange events continue to occur.  Now my computer is whacking out.  Here is the deal.  The pages on this site will not UPDATE for me.  It is as if my bodybuilding.com pages are stuck in the past.  This happened to me once before last summer.  At the time I thought it was the site’s problem, but it was my computer.  It corrected itself eventually and I don’t know how!

Please one of the competitors -or- Richard let me know if this post comes through via group email!  Because it will not show up on MY computer regardless it does or not.  
This also means I am unable to see any updated pages or read any blogs at this time.  Hope all is well with everyone!  I will get on the library computer after work tomorrow night to check in and see how everyone is doing.

The very good news for me, is that despite yesterday’s zany day of excess stress and excessive calories (all protein)…I am DOWN in weight!

Last week I lost ZERO…ZIPPO!  

This week, my body made up for lost time!   I am down from the past 2 week’s weight of 142, to 139 today!  

A 3 pounds loss for the week.  

I am now down a total of 18 POUNDS since the beginning of the contest!  And I am only 2 actual lbs away from my original goal!  Meaning, if I lose 1/2 lb per week until the end, I will be more than ahead of my original plan.

Lots of HARD WORK is going into this.  I am wearing my weighted vest 2 hours per night in addition to my workouts.  With the exception of yesterday, my calories have remained in the 1000-1750 range.

This is a crazy lifestyle!  (But I LOVE it!)

Now, let’s see if those PICS will upload!!

I dare say I might be about to come into some obliques!  SOMEDAY SOON!

And for those of you who want to put me on a pedestal…

I AM ALL FOR THAT SORT OF THING!

Into every life a little rain must pour.

I really don’t even know where to begin. It has been a very stressful past couple of days.  One in which I have had two tire blow outs, been stranded on the road with all three kids twice, once sideways in a ditch, standing in a rainstorm.  I seriously feel like I faced death today.  lol  Yes, I can be a little bit dramatic.  (Keep in mind that Jeeps are filled with written warnings…RISK OF SERIOUS INJURY AND/OR DEATH MAY OCCUR…DO NOT EXPECT JEEP DOORS OR ROOF TO KEEP YOU IN SAFETY.)  It started with Saturday.  My husband got a flat tire on my Jeep while I was working.  Instead of replacing it, he patched it, which the guys at the tire place seemed to think was a fine idea.  Driving the girls to school Monday, the tire blew out, sidewalls and everything.  It wasn’t too cold, and it only took about a 40 minute wait before the tire guy came and put the spare on.  Since the tire was now GONE, they ordered us a tire replacement, telling us to bring it in the next morning.  On my way there today, the SPARE blew.  This time on a busy stretch country highway, in the pouring down rain, on a hill with very low visibility.  I had my three precious packages with me (kids not protein).  Even though I had my hazards on, I could very well imagine us getting rammed from behind.  The problem  now being that I was scraping metal and had NOWHERE to pull off to.  The side of the road being a deep gulley.  I thought, "HELL IT"S A JEEP…I’LL JUST PULL US DOWN THERE TO SAFETY."  Realizing there was a slight danger of tipping at that odd angle I had to make the kids get out in the pouring rain and lightening while I attempted to get us off the road.  Of course it was worse than I thought, since there was NO REAR TIRE to help navigate.  I did end up sideways, with just enough room for the girls to come stand and get out of the rain.  However, it was scaring the dickens out of me as I could see the thing rolling the rest of the way on top of them.  SO we all got out and stood in the rain like a bunch of desperados, praying that lightening wouldn’t hit us.  A nice, older lady stopped and took us to town soon enough.  We headed to my library to get warm and make a few calls.  Long story longer, everything you can imagine went wrong, including a 3 hour wait to get my Jeep towed and back, (too many details to share), and a case of STOLEN IDENTITY.  Went to pay with the debit/credit card…the amount coming to over $600 for what amounted to 3 road side service calls in three days, one tow, one (faulty) patch, and a new rear tire.  THE CARD WAS DENIED.  Not for insufficient funds, but because someone stole our number and had been attempting to use it 7 times!  The bank had put a halt on the card.  Another hour long wait, sitting in a filthy dank service station.  The bank finally cleared us and I got the heck out of there!  Missed my workout.  Came home and had 7 SCOOPS OF BANANA WHEY to make myself feel better.  lol  MENTAL STRESS TAKES FAR MORE OUT OF YOU THAN PHYSICAL STRESS!!!!!  Took a 2 hour nap, woke up, ate 9 EGGS!!!!  Holy heck, must have needed some iron!  Now my boss had said earlier with the roads being icy that I didn’t have to come in to night unless I wanted to.  Remember, I am driving around with NO HEAT.  That’s ok.  I’ve decided I AM ROCKY BALBOA training in Siberia.    I am not one to call out of work.  Actually, I never have before in my life.  But my boss opened that doorway and I walked through it. Decided I would rather have a WORK-OUT to work off some of today’s STRESS!  SO glad I did!  Only 15 minutes on the stairmill, but I wore my vest and got a good sweat.  Worked my tris..just didn’t feel like writing things down tonight.  Trained INTUITIVELY the way I LIKE IT.  Ahhhhhhh….I feel so much better now.  Made this video clip over a month ago.  I can definitely see a difference in my body between then and now.  Never realized just how THICK I was.  lol  That’s all right.  Many shapes and sizes makes for a WELL ROUNDED WORLD.  PS….I USED NINJA BILL’S M&F PIC for inspiration today!  Get your minds out of the gutter now.  It got my heart rate up all right…..but that’s because I was walking stairs.  Have a great night…and if you made it to the bottom of this page,…well then, God bless ya!

                            I do not need you to like me.

                                    inside my big ol’ champion heart.

40 days and 40 nights of clean eating and healthy calorie restriction.
                                         (In addition to my regular workouts.)

My abs have gone from this…

To THIS!

BELIEVE! 

Because ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE…

I am cozied down for a nice, mellow, Friday night.  The kids are at grandma’s.  Hubbie is on his way.  Things are peaceful in the home.  

My favorite, and best looking, errand boy, is bringing me home a nice Low Carb Rock Star.  

Oh yeah,…and a pack of FRUITY SUGAR-FREE GUM. 

Hey!  It’s Friday!

I have ate well all day.  Now that I am in the zone, I am rather enjoying my diet!  What I am enjoying now more than ANYTHING, is the feeling of great health!  My body is entirely happy with life, and it is letting me know about it.  There is no food that could replace or substitute this fabulous feeling on the inside.

I find that I am eating all of the things that I always heard were ever good for me.  And I am eating them in abundance.

olive oil
dark green salads
brightly colored fruits and vegetables
herbs
spices
vinegars
green olives
onions
garlic
fish
eggs
green tea

You know what?  I’ve only eaten 1420 calories today.  With my choice in food selections, I have not felt hunger OR denial once.

I feel…full of life.  In tune.  In touch.

There is no greater feeling in the world than THIS feeling.

Good health.

Tonight my body feels…in perfect balance.

I want to give thanks to the supporters in my life who have helped me to get to where I am today.

My husband John, for working so hard, and supporting me so patiently while I recovered my body and my life.  

My three daughters, Shandra, Neva, & Zaelia, who have given up "Martyr Mommy" in the name of "regular old imperfect mommy".  I am a woman learning to practice self love and acceptance, and hopefully teaching them to do the same.

I also want to thank Bodyspace, and all of my friends on this website, who have been there with me, watching me change and grow, accepting me unconditionally, inside and out,  for the past year +.

You are all my super heros.

Depending upon scales, I was either up 1 lb this week, or remained the same.  I will take the remained the same thanks so much.    

The good news being, that according to the Tanita Scale, I am down from 24% bodyfat beginning of this contest to 20.5% bodyfat today!  (I was 21.% last week.)

I relented this week.  I had a cheat day.   And then I had another.  2 cheat days…Nothing too horrific.  Just a few shots of tequila, a half gallon of icecream, (NO FAT!  LOW SUGAR!),…a half quart of salsa, and about 20 packs of gum.

I am ready to start anew.  I am ready to look to the stars.

Progress pics, Jan 31, 2008.

Artistic shots this week.  Next week I will return to the side by sides.

Ready?….

                   Are you sure???….

                                                    Are you REALLY, REALLY, SURE?????

Alrighty then!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!  WE ARE ALL WINNERS!  (AND GREAT BIG LOSERS!)

I am foiled by Quiz Bowl again!  My teenagers are on a big, (important…haha), QUIZ BOWL MEET, 3 towns over.  Looks like the middle daughter TOOK MY CAMERA!

I want to say,…"HEY!  YOU!!  DON’T YOU KNOW MOMMY NEEDS TO TAKE PICTURES IN YOUR BIKINI AND PUT THEM ON THE INTERNET?    haha  

(It just sounds so funny to say it.)

Ironically, we live in the house with 4 cameras.  

1 Easy Share (which I have used for 3 years straight now), 1 worthless, battery dying digi cam that I got for Christmas, 1 worthless, battery dying digi cam that my MY DAUGHTER got for Christmas, and 1 pretty worthwhile decent RECHARGABLE BATTERY camera that THE OTHER DAUGHTER got for Christmas.  lol  

Yes, the worthless, battery dead ones are the ones they left me.

I will try my darnedest to get pics up by midnight tonight.  

Pretty disappointed.  

I am currently wearing my eldest daughters’ pirate/skull bikini for today’s pics.  

Makeup on, the works.

Oh well!  I have 2 orders on their way from Bodybuilding.com.

Maybe the UPS man will come…!

Well I had a glorious, fantasmical workout this morning.

There was this incredibly good looking couple there doing their thing, which inspired the heck out of me.  Usually I feel like the most hardcore person at my gym.  But these were some BONIFIED fitness persons in the flesh.  He was grunting, loudly, unabashedly, working out hard.  She was running and lunging away.  

INSPIRING!  This is what I need!  People ahead of the game to lead me on.  

We all need inspiration do we not?  

People that work out fast and furious inspire me.  I have to remember that when I am working out hard, doing MY OWN thing, that I may feel like a crazy bitch…lol…and I am…(look out!)…but maybe, just perchance….I may be inspiring other people as well.

I try to keep my head in my own game.  

Both in the contest, and in life in general.  It is good to have pace setters, but if you keep your eye too much on other people you will eventually lose your own focus.

Concentration.  This is something that BODYBUILDING has taught me.  When I lift, on the very good days, I am totally and completely concentrated on the task at hand.  Working my back today, it was like this.  Some sets are just so blissful, that I lose myself in them.

Bodybuilding is a LOVE for me; a passionate desire.  

This is a LOVE that no-one can ever take from me.  It is a love, in which, the more you give, the more you get back in return.  

Till death do we part, and then again.

Bodybuilding IS… my resurrection.

"The obese are not incapable.  They just do not know what they are capable of."

Right now, this is my goal.  This is the word that I want to spread on Bodybuilding.com, and the whole world over if I may.  I want people TO SEE inside the mind of a fat person.  I want them to understand.

I KNOW DISCRIMINATION.  I have lived it firsthand.  

Walking around in the body of an obese person is never easy.  For one, you are in near constant physical pain, except when sitting.  And past a certain point, that begins to hurt as well.  

What is just as bad or perhaps worse about being obese is the way people treat you.  The way that people see you.  Or rather, the way that people DO NOT see you.

I remember being treated very, very badly.  And I remember thinking…"They do not know me.  They do not know me, and they do not see who I am on the inside."

It is true.  We judge firsthand based upon appearances.  We see someone fit and trim, perhaps beautifully muscley, and we think, "HEALTH".  This may not necessarily be the case.

I am not here to defend the fat so that they may become fatter.  I am just here to say that inside each obese individual there lies a strong and healthy individual who does not know how to get out.

Why don’t we take a look inside each fat person’s mind to see what took them there, and what might help to bring them back?  

Let us take a look to see what’s on the inside.

Hi guys!  I got in a quick 30 minutes of cardio this morning and then I worked all day.  

Went to tan for the first time in a week as today is picture day!  Got there and my tanning  passes were expired.  I decided that fortunately, we are checking for BODY DEVELOPMENT not TANNING DEVELOPMENT.  lol

So I came home…took my pics…and here we are.  

A very quick download and then….I’VE GOT A WORKOUT TO GET TO! 

The VERY GREAT NEWS IS….I was down another FIVE WHOMPING POUNDS from last week!  I haven’t weighed myself in 3 days so I was shocked!  I mean, I KNEW I had been doing good on my diet, but I am used to getting stuck places.  

Looks like this girl has become UNSTUCK!

For my competitors who are struggling,…know that you will overcome this!  

I HAVE BEEN THERE!  I plateaued for over a year solid.  When things get stuck you have to try something different.  I have been following a very sound and healthy diet for the past 3 and a half years, only my calories were too high for my body to make additional changes.  I have basically cut my calories in half from where I was a month ago.  IT IS WORKING.

In the words of James Brown…

“I FEEL GOOD!”

(Step back….kiss myself………….HEY!)

My weight today;  141 lbs.

I am down 16 pounds in 4 weeks!!!!!!!

My lowest weight in almost 10 years!!!!!!!

All of this AND……….my weighted vest came in today!  Oh my gosh!  It is so HEAVVVVVY!  (And to think I used to carry twice this much in BODY FATTTTT!)  OUCH!  No wonder I HURT,….ALL THE TIME.

Those days are gone!

I will say it again for good measure…

I FEEL GOOD!

In choosing who I would like to honour as a bodyspace member, I had real difficulty.  There are so many worthy individuals on this site.  Real, everyday, strong and beautiful women like Mischa Dolby, Kat Nap, Iron Maiden, Chicken Tuna, Spanish Belle. (And so very many others I just can not name them all.)  

My 19 year old gym friend told me today (and she tells me this often), "When I am 37 I want to look like Maddi".  I always tell her by way of response, "Keep taking care of yourself and don’t give up.  Then when you are 37 you will look FAR BETTER than Maddi".

Do not give up girls.  Grow older, grow wiser, have your children (if you so choose), but after a small break, get back in the game and keep your game running.  

Weight training CAN and WILL keep you younger than your years, for many years to come.

In finally deciding upon a bodyspace member to honour, I have decided upon MS FITNESS.

I find Ms Fitness to be INFORMATIVE and INSPIRING.  Her videos have always brought a big smile to my face.  Her love of the iron shows in the gleam of her eye and the smile that plays across her face while she lifts.  She is a SINGLE MOM, working a FULL TIME JOB.  Yet she still finds the time to work out regularly while paying the bills and running a house single handedly.  

Ms Fitness is SELF TAUGHT.  She goes out on a limb, creates her own workouts, and makes them her own.  Her strong will, intelligence and determination shows through both in her workouts and in every word that she speaks.  Add to that a great sense of humour, and you have ONE HELL OF A LADY.

Ms Fitness!  

For all that you have done, and for all that you have shared…I thank you.

I am very pleased with what I am doing and how it is working for me so far.  

Although I believe a keto diet is perhaps the greatest and best for extreme fast weight loss, I decided that it is not for me.  

I have also temporarily thrown out the carb cycling in the strictest sense of the word.  I am following more of what you could call a high protein, low fat, moderate carb diet.  Just basic healthy stuff.  

Here is my rough calorie count for the week.  Keeping in mind that I still estimate…ALOT.  What starts out as a measurable scoop often turns into a ‘’ooooh…that’s good….let us add a little more"…until in the the end I come out with a nice full belly, but nothing that can be measured.

Mon:  1150 calories, 115 protein

Sat:  1200 calories, 135 grams protein

I am on what you could call an "elimination" diet.  I am eliminating so many things I would ordinarily eat on my regular day to day "fit, plump, and healthy" diet.  

I have cut out;

all cheese and dairy (but whey)

all nuts and seeds

all protein bars (these used to be my staple)

all grains (including oatmeal…another previous staple)

While my main diet basically consists of Intra-Pro, Egg Beaters, Fish, & Various Salads, Oils, & Vinegars, I am still able to maintain certain freedoms.  

Like yesterday, my husband called me from the chinese restaurant and asked me if I wanted anything.  I was able to say, "Yes, bring me the chinese vegetable soup please".  

Broccoli, mushrooms, water Chestnuts, snowpeas, in a clear and tasty broth.

A whole quart of it.  lol

I need the unexpected.  I need the surprise.  This helps me psychologically.  

I am not one who thrives by knowing what I will be eating in advance.  I also do not time my meals.  I go by what my body tells me.  Usually I wait for signs of the second hunger.

My best advice to everybody out there would be this.  Do not follow your diet out of a can.  Take the best of advices and make them your own.  Know your own psychology and diet in a manner that follows along the lines of your mind.  Keeping yourself mentally satiated is half the game.