2008 Transformation Contest

"The obese are not incapable.  They just do not know what they are capable of."

Right now, this is my goal.  This is the word that I want to spread on Bodybuilding.com, and the whole world over if I may.  I want people TO SEE inside the mind of a fat person.  I want them to understand.

I KNOW DISCRIMINATION.  I have lived it firsthand.  

Walking around in the body of an obese person is never easy.  For one, you are in near constant physical pain, except when sitting.  And past a certain point, that begins to hurt as well.  

What is just as bad or perhaps worse about being obese is the way people treat you.  The way that people see you.  Or rather, the way that people DO NOT see you.

I remember being treated very, very badly.  And I remember thinking…"They do not know me.  They do not know me, and they do not see who I am on the inside."

It is true.  We judge firsthand based upon appearances.  We see someone fit and trim, perhaps beautifully muscley, and we think, "HEALTH".  This may not necessarily be the case.

I am not here to defend the fat so that they may become fatter.  I am just here to say that inside each obese individual there lies a strong and healthy individual who does not know how to get out.

Why don’t we take a look inside each fat person’s mind to see what took them there, and what might help to bring them back?  

Let us take a look to see what’s on the inside.

JR:
You always encourage me not to set limitations on my goals. What are some of your goals? Do you have dates set to accomplish these goals?

Angel:
As a rule I generally do not put dates on my goals. My focus has always been on as long as I am making improvements I am getting closer. Time passes and the weight comes off/body shape changes. Every occasionally I throw in a short term date goal but it usually serves as a reminder to why I don’t like date goals when it comes to transforming my body. One such time is now actually. I am headed to California in two weeks so for the last month I have had this as a short term goal. The thing is, even when you do everything “right” and give your best effort sometimes your body will still do its own thing. So when you don’t hit the number goals you desire when you plan its easy to beat yourself up (and sometimes partake in defeating behavior), rather than acknowledging the improvements made. As for my goals they are very different from four years ago. Four years ago I just wanted to be not obese. The day I shopped in a normal store was the most exhilarating experience. I dreamed of Madonna arms (haha) but never thought they could be a reality for me. These days I am aiming for physical excellence. Excellence in fitness, leanness, muscularity. I want to SEE what my full potential is. I want find out how strong I really am. I want to show that it is not only possible to lose weight and keep it off but to live an extraordinary life sharing that reaching your dreams are a reality if you choose to step up.

JR:
Trainer or Solo?

Angel:
Right now I have a trainer that meets me twice a week. I also have a nutritionist that meets me once a week and in contact via text. I also feel very fortunate to have become friends with some of the bodybuilding trainers at my gym. Sometimes I feel like I have a team of people who keep an eye on me and offer support, encouragement and even form instruction. I would like to add that all of those people help me expecting nothing in return (I pay my nutritionist the equivalent of petrol money). One of the above trainers once put it like this to me “It is a pleasure to help someone, willing to help themselves”. I don’t share this to boast but instead to encourage people that if you work hard, are teachable and appreciative that the support you need will come. This has been true for me from the moment I discovered bodybuilding.

JR:
Workout partner, group, or solo?

Angel:
Apart from when I see my trainer I train solo. Though at different times I have trained with a partner and it has been a lot of fun as well as challenging. The bigger you are and the fitter the more I want to keep up!

JR:
I find that people I used to hang with and I have little in common. It is like our poor eating and lifestyle kept us together. Now I am building new friendships or evolving old relationships. Did you run into this? If you did how did you handle the change?

Angel:
This is, and continues to be an ongoing challenge for me. Some people I have come to realize were part of my life just for a time. I am inclined to say that I don’t have a single relationship that is the same. Fortunately many relationships have changed for the positive.

JR:
Do you suffer from ‘fittism’ or people outright resenting the fact that you are a studette now?

Angel:
Hahaha studette? Wells I don’t think I have had anyone outwardly resenting me in a hostile way however one thing I come up with quite frequently is the contrast between my continued progress and others stagnating, going backwards/gaining weight, or those whom I have seen lose some weight and then gain it back. For those people it can sometimes be a bit awkward. Like my success further highlighting their challenges. I usually then look for an opportunity to encourage them. I fully believe that I do not have any special ability. If I can do it, and they desire it then they can do it too.

JR:
Do you still see yourself as the woman in your before picture?

Angel:
No. And that is a quiet respectful no. Not even a little bit. That woman didn’t know who she was or what she was capable of. She is a distant dream who believed in the power of A Little Bit (progress).

I weigh the same as last week.  My body fat is the same too.  Why I am I happy with this?  I didn’t go up.  That alone is worth celebrating.  I know I am not slacking.  I also know that this is the time I retain a little more water.  A few days ago, I was up 5 pounds. It really showed in my workout video. There are going to be times when the scale doesn’t move.  Does that mean I did not change or make improvements?   Hell no!!  Each and every week changes are happening to me.  I can feel them even when I can’t see them.    

My weight training is intense.  You guys already found out I don’t like to be messed with when lifting.  A little smack talk is ok but don’t touch my iron.  That’s right! Its hands off or all hell could break loose.  My cardio is in the target zone.  I always feel great when I get off the machine.  I know I gave it my all and really turned up the heat to melt that fat.  My diet has been on spot.  No cheating.  No substitutions.   Mentally, I am focused.  I know what I have to do to continue sculpting.  I visualize the potter manipulating the clay.   Everyday I am making good choices and “evicting” old habits and replacing them with new healthy ones.  Plus I feel great.  I feel as if I can run all night.  My metabolism is jacked.  I am sleeping great.  

Muscles are developing.  There are times I find myself running my hand over my triceps and feeling its development or realize I am flexing for visual confirmation.  My lover has commented on how hard the quad muscles are getting and the glutes are tighter and smaller.   My clothes are baggy.  I had to dispose of some and buy new already.  

Here are this weeks progress pics.  I will let you be the judge…

Day 1: Front

Week 4: Front

Day 1: Side

Week 4: side

Day 1: Back

Week 4: back

Well, do you see anything I should be disappointed in?

Angelfish has been a bodybuilding.com member since August 2006.  Her forum signature pretty much sums up her philosophy on transformation, “Consistently maintain forward momentum. Be clear in your goals. It is easier to work in line with your goals than against them. 50kg (110lbs) lost to date. ”   Angel has been a good online friend and is a great lady.  She made me feel comfortable on a site of bodybuilders when I obviously was not one. Angel, you have been a great inspiration to me and others.

What follows is the first of a three part interview with Kathleen (AKA Angelfish).  Give here a shout at her Bodyspace.

PART ONE
JR:
In your before picture you are holding a child. Is that your child and if so how many do you have?

Angel:
Yes that’s my son. I have two children, my daughter is 6 and my son is now 4. I started this journey when my son was about 10 months old.

JR:
I have stated in my blog that there was a ’switch’ that flipped in my head and I no longer was going to be a fat guy. There is no question, there is no doubt, it just is. Before that switch flipped I was simply playing at losing weight. Did something similar happen to you? Do you remember the moment you knew you had really changed?

Angel:
Yes I do, I call it my pantry moment - a very precise time where I made a choice that changed me forever. Trying to lose weight had been an ongoing issue for me. I had tried every diet. Every Monday was a new diet day, a so-called fresh start that gave me permission to eat up “for one last time”, and so on. One such typical day I had started anew AGAIN and by lunchtime I was searching around the cupboard looking for junk food. In my head I was saying I will start properly tomorrow, therefore giving me an excuse to indulge. At that moment a new thought flashed into my head that I was lying. It occurred to me that I wouldn’t intentionally lie to someone else, someone I cared about and here I was blatantly lying to myself. I closed the cupboard and that was it. I decided to be truthful to myself, get real and behave my way to success.

I didn’t know if I could or would be slim. But I told myself to think like a slim person and do what a slim person does. Literally faking it till I make it. It’s only really been in the last year or so that I have an inner knowing I will never go back. The flashes of insight of how far I’e come can still sometimes take me by surprise but every day I wake grateful, and amazingly appreciative of not only my history because it has made me who I am but also of this gift of seeing life with new eyes. Being able to look others in the eye is a gift like no other.

JR:
Obviously you lift, but I read in your blog that you did a special type of running. What was that about?

Angel:
LOL! Not quite a special kind of running heheh I call it Bush Running because I run in the bush! Here in New Zealand that is what we call our forest areas. Its hilly, its fresh, its aerobic, its challenging, full of ferns, trees, streams, and on the sea edge. and buggery. Its too tough on my knee at the moment!



JR:
Is it the water in New Zealand that makes all NZ women so beautiful and cool?

Angel:
LOL! Cute JR.

JR:
You have always been very helpful to people on the bodybuilding forums and made me feel at home on the bodybuilding website even though I am far from a bodybuilder. Are you more outgoing now after your transformation or were you always this way?

Angel:
I am absolutely more out going now. I have always been friendly and would do what is needed in a social situation. Now though I joke, I am not afraid to go places by myself, I am comfortable around new people, I hold my head high, I speak in front of people? you could almost give me the title assertive (wow now that?s a new word for me!- yeha!)

JR:
What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Angel:
My fav ? 200g Salmon fillet, 1 courgette, ? red pepper, generous serving of mushrooms ? all grilled with my absolute favorite sugar free sweet chili sauce!! YUM. At the moment I have this exact meal 3 evening meals out of 4.

This song is a reminder to me that we all have pain. It doesn’t matter if you’re old, young, 300lbs or 150lbs. We all have things that we battle with, we all hurt a little at times. Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up on your goals. Don’t stop. Don’t Quit. You can and will do anything you set your mind to.

Keep the faith. Keep the faith in yourself this Thursday!

Here they are, added pics from week one for reference.

Week 1 Pics

Progress-???

Week 1

Progress???

Week 1

Progress???

So, even though I’m sick I still have the responsibility to post progress pictures. I won’t step on the scale right now because I know that I’m not eating enough while I’m sick and I need to instead focus on getting better. Chicken Noodle Soup, Rest, and Plenty of water yo!

However, I do see some progress in the back and ‘V’ area, which is exciting.

Front Relaxed

Rear Relaxed

Side Relaxed (Bloating OBVIOUS from being sick)

Don’t think because I’m sick that you guys are off the hook, we are barely a month in and I am just getting started.

SCT

The fourth in a 12-part article series documenting the progress of this year’s five contestants is now available on Bodybuilding.com.

After a tough first month, I think everyone deserves a little comic relief! 

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/2008transformblogguide4.htm

Enjoy!

Hi guys!  I got in a quick 30 minutes of cardio this morning and then I worked all day.  

Went to tan for the first time in a week as today is picture day!  Got there and my tanning  passes were expired.  I decided that fortunately, we are checking for BODY DEVELOPMENT not TANNING DEVELOPMENT.  lol

So I came home…took my pics…and here we are.  

A very quick download and then….I’VE GOT A WORKOUT TO GET TO! 

The VERY GREAT NEWS IS….I was down another FIVE WHOMPING POUNDS from last week!  I haven’t weighed myself in 3 days so I was shocked!  I mean, I KNEW I had been doing good on my diet, but I am used to getting stuck places.  

Looks like this girl has become UNSTUCK!

For my competitors who are struggling,…know that you will overcome this!  

I HAVE BEEN THERE!  I plateaued for over a year solid.  When things get stuck you have to try something different.  I have been following a very sound and healthy diet for the past 3 and a half years, only my calories were too high for my body to make additional changes.  I have basically cut my calories in half from where I was a month ago.  IT IS WORKING.

In the words of James Brown…

“I FEEL GOOD!”

(Step back….kiss myself………….HEY!)

My weight today;  141 lbs.

I am down 16 pounds in 4 weeks!!!!!!!

My lowest weight in almost 10 years!!!!!!!

All of this AND……….my weighted vest came in today!  Oh my gosh!  It is so HEAVVVVVY!  (And to think I used to carry twice this much in BODY FATTTTT!)  OUCH!  No wonder I HURT,….ALL THE TIME.

Those days are gone!

I will say it again for good measure…

I FEEL GOOD!

Keeping with the Counting Crows and VH1 storytellers again today… I share with you my tune of the day: "Have your seen me lately". This is a song I like to listen to on the way home from the gym or while eating breakfast. It’s mellow and makes me think.

Have you seen me lately?
Have you seen me lately?
I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America, it’s starting to rain
Could you tell me the things
you remember about me
And have you seen me lately?
I remember me

The progress pictures will come this evening but the weigh-in was this morning.  Last week I was 353.5 and this week I am 354.  This is my first gain in several weeks of 2+ pound losing.  The strange thing is that I am not bummed out, anxious, or angry.  I felt my body stabilizing this week.  The 350 barrier.  

It really does not matter.  This poor body will have no choice but to obey my good nutrition and workout plan.  I feel stronger, firmer, and that is what matters.  We will see later if the pictures show any change.

Jan. 23

Jan. 16

Dec. 26

Even at home with my little swiss ball, you do so many exercises. Depending on my mood I either do abs in the gym or at home. If at home, these are a couple of exercises I do.
In addition I added in a bit of Tricep work from one of my previous workouts, I was at the gym late…no one was there. It was great!

I hope that in the near future you wont see my stomach bulge out when I do abs, but the ab muscles flexing.

Those three words pretty much describe my last week. I’m sick, my strength is down, I’m sick, and I just want to sleep all day. I went to the gym tonight, despite being sick, so I could get my workout video in. We ended up shooting the leg press superhellset, and I FAILED. Yes, you heard it. My range of motion was poor, my strength was down, and overall it just sucked.

The way it is supposed to go is 15 reps, rest 5 seconds, 14 reps, rest 5 seconds, and repeat on down to 1 rep. You’ll have to watch the vid to see what happened. Now fancy music or editing this time around guys, I’m barely with it enough to even upload it.

Posting these pictures and videos takes a lot out of me.  Not only am I faced with my own shortcomings but I then share them for all to see.  But, as Isaac’s post below points out, you got to start where you are.  Wish though I might I will not magically knock out the push-ups without the pain and struggle that comes before.  So I offer you these videos so that everyone sees that it doesn’t kill you to not look like a stud as long as you do the things to make you a stud, or studette.  These will also be great to look at next January when most of the weight is gone and then I will laugh.   Right now though….

My shoulder is really messed up.  Back in my younger days I tore up my shoulders in a freak ….um…drinking accident.  I fell down a stairwell from the fourth floor tearing a nerve in my shoulder while trying to hang on for dear life…..gravity is a ….     Anyway, as I let myself get more and more out of shape I never really did recover.  Later this month I will be looking into ARTS therapy to see if I can loosen it up a bit.

Without further ado: