Unleash The Animal

For some reason, I was just in a bad mood on the way to the gym.  Frankly, I was pissed off and I didn’t know why.  I explained to Jenn in the car that it wasn’t her in any way, and that I was going to take it out on the iron.  The iron doesn’t mind, and I knew I’d get a great workout.  That, my friends, was an understatement.

Today was back and biceps, and I started off with usual weight.  It felt heavy, but I needed more.  The next set, I cranked it up.  Then again the next set.  I had gone up 30 lbs from last week, and I thought I was doing well last week.  Apparently, not as well as I could have done.  I went to the next exercise and bumped it’s weight up from the start.  I barely got the last rep on the last set.  That was a good thing.  Then, we gave assisted pull-ups as shot.  Well, I need more assistance than the machine could give me.  I only managed a couple of reps, but that’s cool.  I did what I could and felt it afterwards.

Next was biceps, and they had to pay for the lack of pull-ups.  I upped my weight and progressed through the sets.  Preacher curls were tough, but all reps were successfully completed except the last one.  Almost the same with the standing barbell curls, finally cranking out the last set just barely..  Then, rope curls and the same thing happened again.  Basically, I just about reached failure on damn near every exercise I did today.  That doesn’t happen to often for me, but that’s been my goal.

Jenn, in her own right, was a demon on the weights.  No wimpy weights for her, my baby ain’t no Barbie Doll!  She pushed harder and harder, barely completing her sets it seems.  She isn’t afraid to make an ugly face while pushing herself.  Also, she knows how to pump me up (not that way you pervs..well, she knows that too, but this ain’t the time for that).  At one point she asked me if I was her Spartan warrior.  I replied "Spartan’s are p***ies."  That motivated me enough to push through that set.

By the time we were done, I was spent.  Sweat poured off my face.  The bad mood?  Gone.  I was joking around and cutting up by the time we left the gym.  It really does help, no matter what anyone says.  It was great.  Now, I just want to get angry before I go to the gym every day.  It kicked ass!  I can’t wait to lift again…to bad tomorrow is cardio day.  I got to get some wraps for my hands to work the heavy bag…then pissed will work for me again

The soft, but annoying buzz of the alarm flows out of the black box.  Sleepily, my hand slaps at the clock, missing it’s mark time and time again.  Eventually, the silence indicates success.  I push myself up to a sitting position on the side of the bed.  "It’s to early," I think.  I think this every morning, and still I awaken at this time.

I go into the bathroom, since nature calls at obnoxious times of the day.  Once fully drained of excess fluid, I step on the scale.  I don’t know why I do this, I don’t count it unless it’s a Sunday morning, but the fluctuations of human weight from day to day fascinate me…when they’re other peoples.  Mine just piss me off.

I drag myself to my feet and shuffle through the house.  I stop briefly to pet Mimi, our cat, and feed her.  Then, the computer beckons.  BodySpace is my first stop, the chance to see if any of my friends have gained or lost, or encountered new experiences to share.  It’s not much, but it’s all my brain can comprehend this early in the morning.

After a few minutes pondering the importance of peanut butter and other things, I take my Lipo 6.  I need it 30 minutes before breakfast.  I return to the computer and read anything I find.  Most of my friends are asleep at this time of morning (bastards), so I read stranger’s blogs instead.  It’s cool though, this is how I get new friends.  Anyone can learn something from someone else.  You’d be amazed at who can learn from whom.

Finally, it’s time.  I begin my morning ritual.  Turkey bacon goes into the pan first.  It’s high in fat, but I burn most of it apparently.  This breakfast is the one I’ve found that maximizes my energy through out the morning.  In other words, I don’t pass out at work and slam my head onto the keyboard.  My boss hates it when that happens.

After the bacon is finished, I throw two pieces of whole wheat bread into the toaster.  I then scramble my three egg whites and one whole egg.  I get most of my daily fat right here at breakfast, but it’s good and I’ve made gains with this breakfast, so I figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

About the time my eggs are done, the toast pops up.  I’ve got this down to a science.  Einstein had Relativity, Edison had the light bulb, I’ve got toast ready as soon as my eggs are.  I guess I should have been more specific about those wishes to the genie.  Oh well.

Breakfast is good, if not getting a tad boring.  However, there’s a comfort in the routine.  I don’t spend time pondering what to do for breakfast, I already know.  It’s relatively  healthy and tasty, to say nothing of easy.  Still, I’ll need to shake things up before long, just to add some variety into my diet.

By now it’s time to hit the shower.  The hot water feels good against my sore muscles from the previous workouts (doesn’t matter which workouts…they all hurt later).  I bask in the warm glow of luxurious liquid streaming down like manna from heaven. Ahhhh.  Soon, the luxury is gone, as is the hot water, and I hope out and get ready for work.  Oh, the joy.

Luckily, my lunch and other meals are prepped and ready to go.  It’s the only way I can ensure I’ve got food to eat the next day.  Mine sits atop Jenn’s meal, so I pull all my food out and stick it in a plastic bag.  I hope in the car and take off.

Work, for the most part, is boring.  I eat at 9, 12, and at 3.  Any questions there?  No?  Great!

Now, I return home and change clothes.  The gym beckons, and as soon as Jenn gets home, we answer it’s call.  The clanging of the weights, the grunts of exertion, often annoying to some, are a source of motivation for us.  We eagerly add our noises to the cacophony of lifting, a virtual symphony of pain and joy.  It doesn’t take long, about 45 minutes, and we’re finished.  Not just our workouts, but our bodies.  We couldn’t do another set if we tried, and that’s what we were going for.

At home, I start gathering dinner.  It was ready before, we just needed to reheat it.  By having it ready beforehand, we can get whole foods into our bodies just after working out.  This helps us give our bodies the nutrients it’s craving after we have nuked the hell out of them.

Now, I start getting food ready for tomorrow.  This new life of ours requires discipline, something I suck at.  However, I look down at my gut, think of where it was, and how far I still have to go, and soldier through.  I can’t accept anything less than my best on this one, so I get the food ready.  Luckily, this rarely takes long.  An hour at the most, and I can relax a bit.  But 10:00 is looming, and it’s time for my last meal of the day, a protein shake with skim milk.  This actually seems to balance my protein and carbs right where I want them for the day, and it’s pretty damn tasty too.

Once that is down, I settle in for the night.  Sleep soon overtakes me, and I drift off to sleep, only to repeat this scenario again tomorrow.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yep, today was chest and triceps.  Jenn did fantastic as always.  When we started working out, the rule was "no girl weight" stuff, meaning she would have to progress with her weights.  None of this light crap would cut it.  Luckily, she’s been excited about the workouts so far and I only hope that continues.  Honestly, nothing pushes me more than trying to impress the woman I love

She’s been working hard on keeping with the diet as well.  I know it hasn’t been easy for her, and it won’t be for a while I’m sure, but she’s putting forth the effort and she will definitely see results.  I’d like to thank all of you who’ve stopped by her page and wished her well.  It’s meant a lot to her to know that there are others out there cheering for her.  It makes her feel all tingly…well, a different kind of tingly anyways

A coworker and I were running our mouths today about fitness, and he made the comment that progress pictures are probably not worth a damn because the camera adds ten to fifteen pounds.  "Bullshit," I said.   My pictures look the exact same as the guy staring back at me in the mirror at the time they’re taken.  The whole 10-15 lbs myth sprang up as a way for people to feel better about how horrible they look.  I’m not fat, the camera added that weight.  Now, I’ll agree that the camera might not be flattering due to lighting issues, but to say that it adds weight is ridiculous.  It’s a cop out, plain and simple.

Honestly, I look at all the fit people here, and I don’t see where the camera added 10-15 lbs (photoshop might add that much, but that’s different).  I see lean, trim bodies.  I’m not one of them, but I can assure you the camera didn’t add squat…pizza added that 10-15 lbs!  Ice cream added them.  Fast food added them.  But the camera?  It just captured light reflected off my fat ass onto film.  It’s not the camera’s fault that I had an gut the size of Texas.

To often, people want to find an excuse for their weight.  They say they have a slow metabolism, but that can be overcome.  They say they have hypothyroidism, but eat like an African refugee at an all you can eat buffet.  They say they don’t have time to eat properly, but they make time for American Idol and Lost.  They say they have X condition, but do nothing to rectify that condition.  They make jokes about their own weight, to show you that they don’t care (guilty of that one right here).  They excuse their weight, rather that correct it.  They let their health be secondary to the television.  We’ve sold our soul to Fox of all people.  Great job America.

Jenn and me?  We still watch TV.  We can’t wait for the next season of Heroes and Jericho.  Greek is a favorite new show of mine.  And yet, we can still work out and eat right.  How is that possible?  Simple.  It’s called priorities.  We have ours worked so that we can eat right, exercise, and still enjoy a couple hours of television.  It’s amazing what all is possible, ain’t it?

Yep, Jenn is here.  Well, more specifically here and I hope you all stop by to encourage here.  Last night was pretty rough for her, she didn’t expect the numbers she got by any means.  However, I told her they were a temporary condition at worst.  She’s giving me two weeks, so I have to help her see some results in those two weeks.

Yesterday, I put in all her food into fitday to show her what her eating was like.  I think she was a bit shocked to see that, although she was eating better, she still had a ways to go.  Luckily, most of it was chocolate milk and I introduced her to the GNC Chocolate Caramel Whey Protein powder.  She is quite happy now to vacate her beloved chocolate milk .  This goes back to what I was saying yesterday, that healthy must equal yummy for folks, otherwise they’ll take the unhealthy way far to easily.  Now, I just have to watch out for her getting to much protein

Tonight is a lifting night, so we’ll be in the gym ready to go this evening.  I’m eager to push out those sets and push myself farther.  Every gain I make just motivates me more for the next one.  Plateaus suck that way.  Luckily, I’m still to new to getting back in the swing of things that it shouldn’t happen just now!  I’m excited mostly, I haven’t lifted since Friday and I miss it.  I hate rest days!

Luckily, today is a whole new week, and it holds more promise for both me and Jenn!

I was just sitting here, looking down at my bicep and I flexed.  Hey, I work out, right?  It’s one of the things we do, this flex thing.  Anyways, I flexed.  And, to be frank (sorry Frank…I need to be you for the moment), it looked smaller than I remember it being.  Yep, my guns are shrinking.  Soon they’ll be Derringers and practically invisible…OK, maybe not, but they’ll still be less than impressive.  Since I’m bored, I’m gonna share with you
The remarkable thing is, I’m OK with that.  I realize on a real level that my arms looked bigger because of the fat around the muscles.  That is wasting away.  As of today, I’ve officially lost as much as my whole Body For Life challenge.  Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why, but it’s now true.  It took me 12 weeks before to lose 11 lbs, yet now I’ve done it faster (with less cardio…WOOHOO!).  This is, you see, an important milestone for me.  11 lbs ain’t nothing to sneeze at, at least in my book.  Think of all the people that want to lose 10-15 lbs.  Yeah, I can do that.  Oh wait, I’ve already done that…gimme something tough!  The great thing is, I’ve done it without craving horrible foods!

Earlier today, my wife agreed to hope on the scale tonight, and let me measure her body fat, then listen to me and what I’ve learned for two weeks.  Then, we’ll get back on the scale, and see what happens.  For her, weight loss won’t be as easy as it has been for me the last couple of weeks.  She craves every bad food she can think of.  She longs for it like she’s pining for a lost lover.  "Just a few Pizza Hut bread sticks my darling!"  However, if I can get her to see results in herself, it’ll be easier for her to decide between the grilled chicken breast, or the BBQ that was brought into her office (she works in a doctor’s office and drug reps feed them all the time…and all the wrong foods!)

One step I made to getting her on track was her being awakened by a healthy, but yummy, breakfast in bead.  She reveled in it, and I earned some serious brownie points that I’ll probably need in the next couple of weeks anyways.  I explained to her that I’m trying to make healthy food that will taste great!  If it’s not yummy, it’s less likely to be eaten in preference to something that’s bad for you, so yummy is a must.

Obviously, it has to be an individual’s choice to eat healthy or eat junk, but I can rig it.  I can make healthy stuff harder for her to say "No" to, and therefore increase her chances of success.  This is the one game where it’s OK to stack the deck, right?

Yeah, the scale doesn’t matter to me.  I guess that’s why I just had to hop on it this morning.  After two days of my diet not being right where I thought I needed it, I find an amazing 4 lbs drop, bringing my total since July 10 to 11 lbs.  Per my body fat measurements (which admittedly are questionable), my lean body mass has remains about the same.  Now, this is always a good thing.

Looking at my food logs (fitday.com) I see that I bumped my calories up a bit over the last four days, and Friday night being a cheat meal night it went way up.  Apparently, THIS is what a cheat day is supposed to do .  I ate pretty healthy on my "cheat meal", but there were a lot of calories and carbs in my meal.  Yesterday though, I had a higher level of fats, and far fewer carbs.  Not quite a Keto day though, so I’m not sure what happened.  Whatever, I’ll take it.

I think the thing is, I don’t care what the scale says anymore, but it’s not that I don’t care about any of the numbers.  Instead, I found myself being apprehensive about the scale’s measurements, and then took everything else to see what’s going on.  It wasn’t until I got the total picture (measurements, body fat, weight) that I got worked up.  I could see, at many points, that my body is burning fat up.  I’m retaining muscle as well.  You see, I care…but I can’t give a damn about one aspect of everything.  I now find that I need the whole picture to tell anything from anything.

So, basically, I lied.  I didn’t mean to, but hey…if this is the worse thing I ever lie about, I’m amazing

I don’t.  I really could give a damn.  About fitness?  About working out?  Hell no.  I could really care less about numbers anymore.  I train because I enjoy it, and because I want to build muscle and burn fat.  Not because I want to get sexually aroused at a needle pointing to a number on a scale.  It’s a gauge, sure.  But to many of us here get hung up on it.  Also, I’m not sweating the body fat number either.

I’ll keep measuring, sure.  It’s nice to see it go down.  But what I’m actually looking forward to is my next progress picture coming this next week!  That will tell the tale of whether anything noticeable has been accomplished.  That’s the real test!  Honestly, you all may look at it and say "You’ve been working out and eating right?  Are you sure?"  However, it’s two weeks difference.  I don’t honestly expect massive difference.  I’m hoping to notice the difference perhaps, and if not that’s fine too.  I want to document this change visually, because that’s the real documentation.

For the record, part of this blog’s purpose is to help ME remember I don’t care about the numbers .  However, it’s important that I do get to where it doesn’t matter.  I’m in this for the long haul.  I’m in this for the way I feel physically better than I have in years.  I’m in this for the way my son looks at me, and doesn’t comment on my "pillow" around my mid-section (6 year olds have a way of telling you what you need to hear, but don’t want to hear…and in a very nice way too ).  I’m in this for life.  Healthy food, healthy workouts, healthy lifestyle.

Not that it necessarily makes a difference to anyone.  I’m in this for me.

OK, so I had a good, solid workout.  Not the best, but they won’t all be great.  Still, I hit the muscles hard and I’ll definitely feel them tomorrow.  Shoulders are tricky for me, since they get some exercise the rest of the week with Chest and Back, but so be it.

I eat well now, and I don’t bloat like I used to.  I walk taller, and look like I’ve lost dozens of pounds, despite the fact it’s only seven.  I feel stronger, and actually have more energy than ever before.  I take about 45 minutes to an hour out of my day, and I work out.  More home cooked meals are eaten, and my life seems more focused.  I have my goals, and the simple desire to reach them.

However, what if I don’t?  Honestly, based on how I look and feel right now, I have to say "so what?"  Seriously, I look and feel better than any other point in my life, even after 12 weeks of Body For Life.  Why?  Because I’ve accepted life as it currently is.

You see, I was talking with a coworker today.  He’d noticed how I had changed my eating habits from the two cinnamon buns and a diet coke in the morning and fast food at lunch, to my healthy food.  He commented that that was the secret, consistency.  We talked about yo-yo dieters.  "The problem with those folks is they set out to lose 10 or 15 lbs, and once they do, they go back to eating however they want to.  Me?  I’ve accepted that this is how I will eat for the rest of my life."

It wasn’t until the words left my mouth that I realized they were true.  I still dream of having my metabolism from when I was 18, but those days have come and gone.  I’ll be 34 in September.  What point is there in longing for days of old?  Instead, why not accept how things are now, and work to make the now the absolute best.  Now, that doesn’t mean accepting my weight.  Instead, it means to accept those things that can not be changed directly, like my metabolism.  I will work to change those things I can, and not sweat all the stupid stuff that serves no purpose whatsoever.

I got into an argument with another coworker today.  We had encountered a problem with some stuff, and he wanted to find someone to blame.  I wanted to solve the problem and move on.  The funny thing is this coworker is overweight as well.  He complains about his weight, but refuses to do anything about it.  He can give you a litany of reasons why he can’t, but not one iota of effort to find a way where he can.  He hasn’t accepted things that he can’t change.  Instead, he complains about them.

You have a slow metabolism?  Then experiment your food choices and calories to optimize what it will do!  You have to fast a metabolism?  Then find a way to overcome THAT.  Don’t complain that you don’t have time to work out.  After all, you’re sitting there watching American Idol or something equally pointless.  Don’t blame your life for your choices.  Step up and take responsibility for them.

Frankly, I don’t care what anyone else does really.  But I see it as we all have to choices.  We can do, or we can wish we did.  Only one way holds no regrets.

I looked into the mirror this morning, waiting for my shower water to heat up, and I just stared.  It’s not narcissism, or anything like that.  Instead, it was some odd things I noticed.  One, I felt like I looked more muscular.  In truth, I probably have just burned off a bit of body fat, but I felt like everything stood out more and was leaner.  I didn’t burn that much body fat off, but I liked the feeling.

Next, I noticed dents.  You know what dents are, spots that sink a bit more than the tissue around it (Yep…that’s a medical term.  Don’t believe me?  Well pooh on you! ).  I see definition on the inside of my arm, between the bicep and tricep.  Also, I see them at the top of the obliques, a place I wasn’t expecting them.  A co-worker noticed dents on my cheeks (face cheeks!  Get your mind out of the gutter…for now) yesterday. 

I have to admit, I’m a slave to the scale.  I tell people all the time that the scale is evil, and it truly is.  However, it is my kryptonite.  I’m powerless against the pull of the scale…or so I thought.  What I saw this morning was powerful.  Visible results are far and away the best kind.  Numbers show others how you’re doing, dents show YOU how you’re doing!  So what if the numbers don’t tell the tale.  The dents really tell the tale!

Looking at the costs involved, I’ve decided to step aside in my love of food bars.  While I agree shakes and such have their place in our hallowed diets, I just can’t spend $100 per month on just bars that I have a habit of getting tired of.  Instead, I’m looking at switching over to actual FOOD!  Besides, there’s more room for variation that way.

Here are a couple of options I’m toying with at the moment:

1.  Chicken/turkey wrap.  Take some of your favorite poultry meat, some lettuce, a bit of non-fat ranch dressing and stick it in a ziploc bag and shake it up until the dressing is on everything.  Slap that bad boy into some of the Flat Out wrap bread and POOF!  Granted, depending on the amount of meat, it may take two of these.  They’re filling, but not calorie dense enough on their own.

2.  Chicken Sandwich.  Take chicken breast, slap it between two pieces of whole wheat bread.

3.  Protein shake and yogurt.  I used to do this one…depending on the flavors of each, it can be pretty good.

4.  Extra meals.  Just like a regular meal, just at an odd time.  I know, this one is really pushing it, aren’t I?

These are just a few of the options I’m debating right now.  I’ll be honest, this is a money decision.  I decided to prioritize, and meal replacement bars are just to damn expensive and to tiring.  Instead, I’d rather replace them with food that’s easy to shift if I get tired of something and be more cost effective. Instead, I’m going to focus my supplement money on other things to try that will stimulate muscle growth, at least on a limited basis.

I’m open to other suggestions of whole foods to use between meals.  I don’t want to feel like I’m stuffing myself all the time, you know?  Still, it’ll be fun watching my coworkers faces when they see me eat all the time, and lose weight