Unleash The Animal

First, it looks like my break from that funk was only temporary, because it came back about the middle of the week.  The Darkness kicked it up a notch, but The Animal wasn’t to be undone.  A great many things collided in my life this past week, the types of things that make many folks give up their hopes of a fit lifestyle and return to The Darkness’ embrace.  However, The Animal won’t take that crap.

For many reasons, many of them internal, I didn’t make it to the gym since Tuesday as I said in my earlier blog.  However, The Animal refused to let me stop eating clean.  Every day, like clockwork, I prepared for 6 meals per day, and ate them.  Nothing else.  I avoided the pizza that came into the office, even though is smelled oh-so-good.  I drank water like it was going out of style.  All in all, I ate like a bodybuilder.  In truth, it seemed small at times, but The Animal within knew that if I gave up on my eating, it would be the end.

Instead, I still managed to make some gains this week.  I was depressed as hell, but not falling into The Darkness’ clutches was important to me.  He couldn’t cage The Animal this week, though he tried.  Instead, I ate clean.  The Animal held on by the tiniest thread, but enough that he was able to keep fighting.  The Darkness doesn’t know what happened.

Honestly, the subject came up of eating "dirty" more than once.  I wanted to do it, but I wanted to hold on more.  I ate clean regardless.  I couldn’t help myself, I just had to do it.  I refused to fall into the quicksand I’ve written about myself, and instead I moved forward.  I’m stronger mentally right now than I probably have been in some time, simply because I refused to give in to The Darkness.  I will not fall to him again.  I can’t.

It’s amazing how important food is to your mental well-being.  Just as a cheat meal is good for the mind, eating clean the rest of the week is good for it as well…especially if you can’t work out.  Now, I feel much better about the past week.  Since July 10, I’ve lost 16 lbs…nothing to sneeze at by any measure.  That’s just under 6 weeks.  If, by Tuesday, I’ve lost two more pounds (not likely but you never know), then I’ll be averaging 3 lbs per week.  If not, who cares?  I’m just trying to get to where I want to be…for the long haul!

Sometimes, all it takes is holding on by the tiniest thread to make all the difference.

Things have been hectic around here, and they’ve finally slowed down enough to stop in and say hi

Last week wasn’t a good week.  I haven’t been to the gym since Tuesday for various reasons, but they’re irrelevant.  I didn’t go…period.  No excuses.  Still, The Animal has kept me eating right, and that led to another two pounds and 1% body fat gone for the week.  Not the week I wish I’d have had, but I’ll take it.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and it makes it hard to focus on stuff here.  That completely sucks, since this place helps keep me trigger my inner desire to be fit and healthy.  However, that desire hasn’t left me in the least.  Luckily, I’m still fired up and motivated…and this week should be a bit easier on the old family unit so hitting the gym all the required times shouldn’t be an issue

Unfortunately, at this moment, I have no great pearls of wisdom to share…but I’m sure I’ll come up with something sooner or later

First, let me mention that this idea actually springs from the movie "The Replacements".  I’ve mentioned this movie before, and frankly it’s just a fun, goofy movie.  Pro football players go on strike, scab players come in, hilarity ensues.  However, something many people don’t know is that some profound statements and ideas can come from the oddest movies.  The Replacements has one such moment.

During a team meeting, the coach (played by Gene Hackman, one of my all-time favorite actors) starts asking players about their fears.  They go through things like bees, spiders, and other odd things, until the coach clarifies that he’s talking about fear on the football field.  The starting quarterback (played by Keanu Reeves, who shares my birthday so he’s instantly cool) says quicksand.  He goes on to explain that quicksand is where everything is going great, then you make a mistake.  Then another.  Then another.  Next thing you know, you’re fighting to keep your head up, but you just sink further and further…like quicksand.

However, many of us here have to worry about quicksand as well.  For example, you may eat something you shouldn’t, or you miss a workout, or any number of things.  Then, you feel bad, and something else happens.  Then something else.  Next thing you know, you feel like  you’ve shot yourself in the foot to the point that there’s no point in going on and go polish off a whole cheesecake.

However, that doesn’t have to be the case.  Understanding that quicksand is out there, you can watch for it.  In real life, the secret to surviving quicksand, or so I’ve been told, is to be totally relaxed, like you’re floating in a pool.  Well, chilling out and relaxing about the setbacks works for the quicksand I’m talking about as well.  So, you ate KFC completely out of extra crispy.  No biggie…just do better next time and don’t sweat it.

Bad things happen.  Only you can keep cool enough to make it a nothing.

Dear The Darkness,

Bring it any time you want, and I’ll kick your dark butt all over the yard.

Best Always,

The Animal.

My old boss just called a while ago.  He retired back in January, but stopped in a few days ago and mentioned bringing pizza for everyone.  Well, he called and I answered the phone.  He asked how many folks we currently have (a couple have been hired since he left), and I told him.  However, I mentioned, one of my co-workers hasn’t stopped eating off his Body For Life plan from last year, and I was back to trying to lose weight.

He pops off "You mean to tell me you won’t eat a piece of pepperoni pizza?"  What part of "I’m trying to lose weight" was to difficult to comprehend?

"I can’t eat that anymore Bill.  Doctor’s orders," was my response.  It’s the truth…sort of.  I’ve had a couple of doctors tell me I needed to drop a few, so it wasn’t a lie.  What was funny was how, suddenly, his attitude changed.  Apparently, a diet is stupid when it’s you making the call, but when someone with MD after their name tells you to do it, it’s all good.

WTF?  Why is it that people can’t accept folks trying to change something about themselves on their own impetus, but instead have to spend money to get permission to lose those unwanted pounds.  Is my weight loss now not a threat because I’ve been ordered to by a healthcare professional?  Why, just why, does it matter?  I know I’m overweight.  Doctors on TV tell people who are overweight to lose the fat all the time.  Why does it matter that I have been told specifically to lose weight, when we as an entire freaking nation have already been told that?  Hmmm?

I’m just a regular guy, trying to set a good example for my son.  I don’t smoke, I rarely drink, and now I eat right and exercise.  I don’t give a rat’s ass what you and yours do…just stop trying to force your bullshit life onto me!  I don’t want to drop dead at 39 because I couldn’t leave the fried chicken alone.  I don’t want to experience fun stuff like diabetes and strokes.  I don’t want to experience any of the issues most folk will later in life…so back the hell off and let me do my thing to fight it.

Maybe I’m weird, but I’d actually like for women to be happy I took my shirt off.  I’d like for my son to not be embarassed when I walk around shirtless…or if he is, it’s because of all the stares I get from the ladies.  Hell, I’d like for people to think I’m juicing when I’m all natural!  Here’s the thing though…it’s all my freaking life!!!!!!!!!

I’m about ready to tell folks like this to have a Coke and a smile, and to shut the f**k up!

Yep.  I said Sunday I’d give my body another day or so to see what it did with the weight, and sure enough, another couple of pounds gone!  Apparently, the sodium was holding in a fair amount (mental note…no more pizza ).  It’s either that, or adding back the cardio really works.  I seriously doubt that’s it, so it has to be loss that would have occured last week had I not been retaining so much fluid.

I really needed those two pounds too.  After the funk I was in, thankfully for only a short time, I needed something positive.  My great workout yesteday helped a whole lot, but today’s weigh-in helped me realize that I am moving in the right direction.  Yeah, I know I wrote a blog about how I didn’t care…and at that moment, I didn’t.  I felt so good that I just didn’t care about the weight.  However, that’s not where I’m at now, and I really need the results to help me push myself.

On a related note, I’ve discontinued using Lipo 6.  Frankly, I wasn’t losing weight for the last couple of weeks, while taking it religiously.  But last week, I was spotty on taking it, and that didn’t seem to make a hill of a difference.  In fact, I seemed to lose better when I wasn’t really taking it.  So, I’m going to step away from fat burners for a bit.  My body seems to be doing just fine without them

That will leave me taking my Animal Pak, for BCAAs and multivitamin, and my protein powder.  I’ll finish off this cycle of my Animal Stak 2, and then step away from that for a while as well.  The Lipo 6 isn’t helping apparently, and the Animal Stak 2 seems to really be geared toward different goals than what I have right now.  Come January, I’m planning on trying a quick bulk to see what I can do, and I’ll give the Animal Stak 2 a try again.  Until then though, it’s the Pak and Protein for me

Well, I broke out of my funk!  I don’t know what caused it, but I think I pushed through it tonight with a killer workout.  The Animal definitely kicked The Darkness’ ass today!  The Darkness will need some time to recoup from that one!

Also, I started back with cardio before working out.  I had taken a break from it since my legs always felt tired, but damn it!  I need that boost!  I haven’t had any meaningful fat loss since I stopped, so I started back.  We’ll see how it works for me.

I came home to fix a wonderful dinner of grilled talapia, green beans, and brown rice.  Honestly, it just LOOKED good…which was pretty damn close to how it tasted too .  I’m just really stoked to be me right now, and punching through a funk that has sent many people running to Dairy Queen for a large dipped cone is always a good thing!

Excuses are gone.  The Animal won’t have them!  The Darkness feeds on them.  Hence forth, excuses are banished from my presence.  The Darkness will have to feed on something else from now on!

It’s wierd, but I find myself looking forward to my weekdays more than my weekends.  Monday mornings allow me to easily flow back into my routine without anyone or anything interfering in it.  Errands are done according to my eating schedule, not when it’s convenient for other folks (because it’s solo).  It’s like the stars align for me on Monday morning.

You see, I’m a creature of habit.  Weekdays are very structured, and I find great comfort in that for some reason.  I know, more or less, when I will eat every single meal and what it will be.  That gives me incredible comfort for some odd reason.  It removes the element of "what will we have" that often led me over to the chips instead of real food. The weekends, however, aren’t nearly as structured, so I have to work toward making them so…if for no other reason than for my sanity.

Now, I understand the need to be flexible as well, and I can be, but it’s a lot easier to be flexible when it’s the exception, rather than the rule.

Spartan women would tell their husbands this before the left for battle.  The thought being that, if a warrior were to run, they would throw their shield at the enemy before taking off.  The presence of a shield with the returning warrior meant that he didn’t run in the face of the enemy.  Either that, or their corpse would be carried home upon the shield.  Now, this might seem like pointless ramblings, but it’s not.

You see, cowardice was totally unacceptable.  Excuses for running were irrelevant.  Their laws clearly stated that you stand and fight.  Period.  No discussion of reasons.  You simply did what you were trained to do.  However, we all have excuses for our perceived failures.  I missed my workout yesterday.  My son was sick and he was a priority over me.  Is that an excuse?  No.  I could have found a way to get the workout in, but I didn’t.  Jenn ate some potato chips the other day.  She felt she needed salt.  That’s not an excuse either.  She could have found other alternatives, but didn’t.  We made mistakes, and that’s all they were.

However, excuses have a nasty way of multiplying.  First, it’s a sick kid (even though you’re not a single parent).  Next, it’s a movie you’ve been waiting to see for ages.  Then, you just don’t feel up to it.  After that, who has time to work out?  You’re a busy person, so the gym will have to wait until next week.  Then next month.  Then next year.  See how they multiply?  They’re worse than rabbits.

However, they don’t have to.  Understand, first and foremost, that if you had tried, you probably could have found a way to work out or eat right, but you didn’t.  If there was absolutely no way to do it, then why sweat it?  Either way, it happened.  Accept it and move on.  You can’t change the past, only guide yourself through the future.  You don’t have to accept your old life back because your pizza craving was to much for you.  Instead, just acknowledge the setback and move forward.

For the last couple of days, I’ve seriously lacked motivation.  I honestly don’t know why, but I have.  Well, that just won’t cut it anymore with me.  Most of these damn blogs are supposed to be motivational, but I slipped and The Darkness almost caged The Animal.  However, The Animal is to fierce to let this setback be a permanent one.  Instead, he will begin striving to cage The Darkness, now and forever.

Tomorrow, as I walk into the gym, I will hear Jenn’s voice (whether she says anything or not) echo throughout my soul.  She’ll say "With your shield, or on it."  No more excuses.  It’s time to seriously kick some ass.

OK, so another week as come and gone, and while I’m not impressed with my body weight, but body fat seems to have gone down, so I’m good.   Still, I think I’m going to go back to a bit of cardio before my workout.  I seemed to have gotten a bit better results that way.  I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not backing off of the weights, since they’re what keeps my butt going into the gym.

The thing is, I love this lifestyle.  I feel better and stronger than I have in a long, long time.  I honestly feel like crap after eating crap, and I don’t want to go back to that.  It’s entirely possible that my body still hasn’t recovered from the cheat meal, so time will tell on that one.  I’ll monitor my weight for the next couple of days and see what it does.  It’s entirely possible that I’m still retaining water from high sodium in that stuff.  If so, I’ll know in the next couple of days.  If not, then I honestly don’t know.  However, body fat seems to be dropping, so I’m good with that.