Togi’s Transformation

So I hit a wall and took a week off. Ate what I wanted and didn’t go near the gym. It was difficult but necessary. I am  halfway to my end goal (as far as clothing size) so I needed a break from the routine and I could tell that my body needed a rest. In that week I decided to lay off the weights and ramp up the cardio, so this week I’ve started running. I’ve started jogging, walking and then doing sprints which makes my thighs feel like burning sticks. I am able to run in one of the most beautiful places, a fairground outside my town surrounded by mountains and lots of birds and wildlife around. It’s so good to be outside. They have some rodeo seating so I can do sprints up those as well. Tonight I was able to do an hour of that stopping starting thing. As soon as the heart rate went down I started jogging again. Also I’m back on an almost carb free diet so I’m getting back to feeling good. Even though I ate lots of bad stuff on my week off, I only gained a pound or two and it made me feel so bad/guilty I’m in no hurry to do that again although the Indian food was yummy.

I plan to do weights at least 2x a week and do more core work -  I’m really interested in finding some shape under the fat (especially belly) so the big push is to shed pounds now. It’s quite amazing that I haven’t lost THAT much weight but I have gone down almost three sizes in four months. I could probably fit into a 12 if I lost my belly.

I think my problem with weight is that I don’t eat enough. The cardio should help. If not, I’ll hang myself. Just kidding. It’s tough going though. This endomorph body was not made for running. Anyway, hope everyone is sticking to their goals.

Hi there! How is everyone doing? Finally I took a few new pics! I have been working my butt off for four months now and I’m into a size 14 - almost a size 12. I started on my journey as a size 18. So exciting! I have a hard layer of muscle under a stubborn layer of fat. Now I have to ramp up the cardio BIG TIME. My body loves to hang on to weight. I have to do absolutely NO carbs for any to come off. It’s also hard to get into the cardio because I love weights so much. I have revamped my goal…until September to reach a size 10 and lose 40 pounds.  I am very happy with my progress so far and my friends are getting inspired by me to start exercising as well so that makes me feel proud. I still haven’t quit smoking but it’s getting in the way now so I’m getting more motivated. The most exciting thing so far is going through my old clothes and seeing how they fit..I had to get rid of so many that were too big - especially pants. I haven’t had pants that were too big in a LONG time. It’s nice to go into a store and actually fit into something again. Can’t wait to get into a 12 because then I won’t be officially plus sized anymore. Anyway hope everyone is well and although I haven’t been on here much I am still very committed and thanks for your kind words. Cheerio!

No pun intended. I’ve missed you guys! All six of you. Ha Ha.

Don’t worry I have not fallen by the wayside. If anything I’ve picked it up a notch. Because of my back problems, I can’t do too much with the legs but I had a good start on those anyway and cardio seems to be carving them down. I haven’t lost tonnes of weight like I expected but I have lost inches galore…Pics? I know pics. I am not joshing you, honest. My camera died and I bought a new one and I’m still figuring out how to use it. Will get a gf to help me out soon. On Sunday I worked out for two friggin’ hours. Yeah baby. It’s so neat to feel my muscles ache.
This past weekend I splurged and picked up a BMI scale that also measures visceral fat.  If that doesn’t keep me motivated, nothing will. Thinking about globs of fat hanging off your organs is disgusting. My belly is the last to do anything. I have legs and arms of steel and a gut that won’t quit. Ha Ha.

Back problems, social life and other commitments have dragged me down the path of BEER but oh well. I need to let loose. It’s been a god-awful year. I can’t begin to start so I am being a little naughty and letting loose. I know it’s frowned upon around these parts but if it takes a bit longer to reach my goals, so be it. The back thing was horrendous - looks like I have a curved spine and can’t do certain movements but I figure the best thing is to keep on truckin right. Had x-rays but still haven’t followed up on them. Just don’t like doing the doctor thing.
Overheard a young girl in the gym today pooh poohing female bodybuilders because it wasn’t sexy. I didn’t say anything but I should have. She’s on that path that you have to look a certain way for men. After the year I’ve had, I could give a damn about what men think of me anymore. My body is mine and I am doing this for self-confidence and renewal. Oddly enough my new found attitude is drawing them like flies.

Go figure.

It’s been a testing couple of weeks since I last blogged. I ended up taking a whole week off. Lots of social events, charity work and disrupted home schedule means not 100% stick-to-it-ness and I haven’t been on the site at all. Plus I strained my back and knee playing volleyball. You just cannot do anything AT ALL if you can’t move your back. It was frustrating. I probably took two steps forward and one step back but I do see a small difference and will have new photos up in the next week. The hardest thing has been trying to get five proper meals a day when there’s no time to go grocery shopping let alone work out. I’ve got two weeks ahead of me to work out EVERY day and doing my best to cut out carbs. One small victory is that I can fit into a coat I couldn’t button up two months ago so somewhere I’m losing inches. Oh one thing that has really helped me is hi-lignan flax oil. I have it at least twice a day - once in my morning smoothie and another in salad dressings or over veggies. It really helps detox your liver and if your liver can’t process the fat you’re trying to lose the whole effort is in vain. Lemon juice helps too. Anyway, that’s my tip of the day!

Feelin’ good and back on track. Having a bit of trouble eating. I always feel so-o full and have to make myself eat. Is this typical? I am having five small meals a day. I just can’t stuff seven in me right now. Maybe after this weekend when my schedule frees up and then I’ll be able to hit the gym weights although I’ve been doing pretty good at home. It’s amazing how fast my body responds to a good diet and regular exercise and it’s only been a month. Once my metabolism revs up some more I’ll be unstoppable. I have roughly five weeks left to complete my first goal and I’m already well ahead, so I’m now aiming for 190 by March 15th. That’s 12 more pounds. Once I hit 190 I’ll set a new goal. I am so looking forward to saying goodbye to the two’s.

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. After six weeks of absolute focus, I slipped up a bit this weekend and celebrated my weight loss a bit too enthusiastically and carbed out! Ha Ha. I’m not too hung up about it but it shows that you have to watch every second. I took 3 days off from working out also (although I got a good ski in yesterday) and today when I started up again, physically I felt really strong. Gawd those carbs just kicked me to the curb. I felt like I was dying when I woke up this morning. Ugh.
I’ve been browsing the blogs a bit for motivation. I read something on someone’s blog that kind of hit home about gaining weight and your significant other’s loss of interest. Yeah, it’s true, of course. I’ve been on both sides of the fence before - fit with a fat boyfriend and fit/fat with a fit boyfriend.

People let themselves go for lots of reasons but I think the most easily overlooked is depression. You can say you are weak for emotional eating but I have lived it and for me it wasn’t ALL about being lazy, was a coping mechanism when everything else was broken. Staying fit and healthy would have helped my emotional health for sure and I tried so hard but never found any joy in it. Nothing stuck. I would go to the gym for a few months and then fall off.

It would be interesting to get others take on it. I know this is a body building blog and for sure, a nice body can help give you confidence and self esteem but what if your focus is solely on the body beautiful? Is your emotional health predicated on how you look? So.. in essence, are you a slave to something outside yourself, like fat people are slaves to food or anorexic’s are to not eating? It’s a rhetorical question.

Here I am 10 years ago…I am coming back. Can’t wait.