Big Is Inside

I have been hearing from some people that my blog is thus far, well, a little "different" from other blogs.  I feel awful that the unfamiliarity is causing so much concern.  As a courtesy to my regular readers (all 5 of you), I will try to occasionally post in ways that more appropriately mimic the types of bodybuilding blogs you are used to reading.  

So, now, for those of you with a headache from reading my regular blog entries, I will proudly join in the chorus . . . I hope this makes you all feel much more at home with my blog.

Ahem.

Trained legs Monday.  Killer workout but was feeling sick and so didn’t get the lbs-ages I wanted.  Did 10 of ten’s squats then went on to sled:
720 x 12
340 x 12
900 x 10
1,130 x 8 (thirteen sets)
had some AST VP2, 8g glutamine, 45g dextrose powder immediately afterwards.  Definitely concerned with the post maximal volumization response cell wall pump vascularity.  Pretty certain that as long as I maximize 15g of pure consolidated hydrolized post-workout recovery ingest without MCT or LCT’s twice daily.  

I have been hearin’ a lot of stuff regarding high Intensity Forced Rep Driven Scope Romanian External Force Hyperbolic training method and how it can increase blood flow to the left upper outer medial connections.  Some dudes in the NPC are doing it.  I know a bunch of guys in the NPC. I want to try this but first am concerned with cuttin’ short my Low Compund PTRJK High Profile Double Spaced routine.  It’s killer so far.  

Put on a half inch on my biceps and have grown 2 inches.  Also that joint pain problem in my knee seems to getting better since my shin fell off.  Happened to a buddy of mine who competes in the NPC.  I know a bunch of guys in the NPC.  I went to the doctor and he told me to lay off the routine until the bleeding stops.  F**k THAT!

Kind of curious what people think about zero carb, zero fat, zero water diet?  I heard a lot of natural pro’s are using it.  Even some guys in the NPC.  I know a bunch of guys in the NPC.  I was told to take in my protein 18 times a day with protein powder.  Caseinate of course, hydrolized, micro-cellular, up-the-ante, BGH-rich, low lactose whey carbonate.  Anyone out there doing the same let me know.

Fell off the diet last night and dunked my head in a vat of fudge batter.  The good news it had almonds in it, which is a healthy fat, so I figured it slowed down the absorption.  Contest prep is stressful.  But a lot of people I know have told me that this happens from time to time.  I know a bunch of guys in the NPC.  Last Tuesday the nacho cheese incident I told you about really shook me up.  Fortunately none of it ended up in my mouth, only in my trunks.  Man, posing is stressful!  Needless to say I am back on 1000.87%  Now it’s:

Andriodiopostulatio-5-nor-neitherandrohydrog
enous glucosamine 1 scoop per day. (I have taken this in the past and liked it. That’s why I have added it in to this regiment)

Vaso CrEE Navajo Seminole 2 serving mixed in Amino Essential Viral Pure RTD per hour.

Muscle Stack Pack Whack Ya Back (the one with the red foil liner is the good one – clearly pharmeceutical grade) 19 serving per day (5 caps)

Vaso Dilo Humido Gluco Wonka Pump 4 caps per day

Labrada Yates Stallone Gaspari Elasti Nutri Bounty Glu Chon MSM (Apple-tini flavor) one serv twice per 3 days every 9 weeks on a full moon.

I have continued to ride the stationary bike for 30 minutes before, 30 minutes during and 30 minutes after my work outs. I’ve increased the pace and am doing level 27 at about 90 to 100.  This means I am burning 5,000 calories a week which is great.  Now if I could just get the lower 9-pack to show!

I’ll probably start doing some hammer swiss ball roll plyometric curls for my hams and delts this upcoming week. A few guys I know do that and say it works great. And I know a bunch of guys in the NPC.  

Hope this helps!

Bodybuilders are the most sensitive dudes I know.

No seriously.

You guys are all touchie-feelie, softies.  

And now I bet a bunch of you are puffing out your lats and crunching your brows right now.  A few are even lowering your voices a little deeper and telling me:

"Dude, what are you talking about?  In the gym I am all business!  I’m no softie!  I’m hard as a rock!"

Whatever, man.  I don’t buy it.  You’re a soft, gushy Dr. Phil candidate . . .

I say this because almost every bodybuilder I meet NEVER wants to talk shop.  I mean you guys front that you’re all hardcore into the process, but that is JUST a front.  Meanwhile, from my experience, you NEVER voluntarily open a conversation with any SERIOUS hard facts.  

Now, whenever I get the precious chance to chat with a bodybuilder who on the surface seems to know his stuff, well, what I most want to discuss is training, or diet, or tactics, or biology, or history – or any one of a million serious disciplines.  And I want to keep a calm, cool head and just bat the cold, emotionless facts around.  When it comes to the academics of bodybuilding, I don’t mind having a bit of a clash, a quarrel or a debate on the relevance, reality and presence of hardcore facts!  Arguably, it is through this clash that we would most learn from each other; what works, and what doesn’t. So, when I chat with you guys, what I want MOST and FIRST is to have it ALL out!  

Let’s bust heads, knock opinions and LEARN something.

I WANT TO RUN THE GAUNTLET OF INFORMATION AND COME OUT BLOODY AND SATISFIED!  

So, naturally, when I run into a guy who SEEMS "serious" I will spike the conversation, put my truths out there, and HOPE for a solid reply.  Butwhat do I get?

EVERY time what do I get?

You dudes NEVER want to want to talk about hard facts.  Nope.  Instead, you dudes always want to talk about your feelings.

Almost EVERY time.

WHY can’t we discuss the realities and logical facts of situations?  Why can’t we help each other see what’s wrong, what’s best, and what makes most sense?  WHY IS IT ALMOST ALWAYS INSTEAD ABOUT YOUR GODDAMNED FEELINGS?!Look, is this bodybuilding, or group therapy?

And you all know damn well what I am talking about.  Like, let’s say, for example, I tell you something like this:

"Dude, your shoulders look HUGE lately!  How have you been training them?"

And before I get any thoughtful training routine, what am I MORE likely to hear back from you FIRST?

"Thanks – but I don’t FEEL huge."

Ugh.

Or maybe to a woman I’ll say something like:

"WOW!  What have you been doing differently with your diet?  You look MUCH leaner than you did a week ago?"

And before I hear about some great caloric strategy, what’s most likely the first reply?

"LEANER?  What are you TALKING about?  I FEEL huge!"

GRRR.

Or maybe I’ll see some kid tearing it up in the gym, throwing weight up like a maniac.  I might chat with him and say:

"Dude, seriously — with the shape you’re in you’re, like, maybe three months out from doing okay in a contest.  Did you every think about competing?"

And of course, before debating pro’s and con’s sensibly, how do they always ALWAYS initially respond?

"Naw.  I don’t FEEL ready for a contest."

Feel feel feel.  Always with the FEELINGS.  When, oh WHEN will bodybuilders start discussing facts?  So often we go by our feelings – or maybe we use the cousin expression "how we think it is".  

Either way, YOU CAN’T RUN A PROGRAM ON FEEL!  I mean, if you went by feel you wouldn’t get ANYWHERE?  Imagine if chefs cooked by feel?  Then you take your date to a fine restaurant, have a hearty meel, and later find yourself at home puking your brains out.  When you call the restaurant to complain about food poisoning, can you imagine their response?

"Oh, but the chef FELT like your meal was cooked enough.  That’s why he served it to you that way."

Or what if schools ran by feel and "by think."  So, at the end of the school year, the staff sits around to decide who graduates and who doesn’t.  Instead of looking at grades, they decide who graduates based on who they "think" learned the most stuff.  

"How about THIS kid?  Let’s let him graduate.  I mean, I THINK he knows math . . . "

Or imagine if they ran the Iraq war based on how the soldiers FELT?  Like, after a long battle, would a bunch of troops pack up and come home early just because they FELT like they were winning?  (Of course, sometimes you gotta wonder if this isn’t actually the current military strategy.  But let’s not go too far THERE . . . )

Look, when it comes to a process like cooking or war or educatin – or BODYBUILDING – you can not run the show based on hunches and notions.  YOU NEED FACTS.

Now I am NOT trying to say that feelings are completely useless.  No no – it is the opposite.  Feelings are are actualy VERY important – perhaps vital.  How we FEEL can often lead us to what the facts are.  But what i am suggesting is that perhaps the best strategy is to FIRST seek out facts, THEN analyze feelings in light of those facts . . .

But so many bodybuilders have that process BACKWARDS.  They START with feelings, and sometimes don’t even MAKE it to the facts of a situation.  Meanwhile, when it comes time to act or decide, it is the FACTS, not the FEELINGS, that will help determine best action.

And I know you’re all nodding your heads, very wise and upright.  This is no news to you.  No – YOU are the hardened bodybuilder.  You ain’t no feelings-first guy.  You ALWAYS knew that putting facts firstwere the key ingredient to a succesful plan.  You are not one of those softie, touchie-feelie bodybuilders.  No no, you must be thinking – YOU are the hyperion of rational, logical thought.  You know how to hold a cold, wise jurisprudence and look at situations with clear objectivity.

And how are you certain that this is true?  How are you certain that YOU are not one of those bodybuilders who’s program is led by feelings more than facts?

Because you don’t FEEL like one of those bodybuilders.  That’s why.

Sigh.

Like I said, you bodybuilders are the most sensitive dudes, I know.

Everyone has preferences.  Like, for example, some people love training arms, other people love training legs.

And if, for further example, I prefer my leg training day more than my arm training day (and with my janky arms that would be a dangerous preference), then then this preference might influence my OPINIONS about those workouts.  I might tell someone:

"My OPINION is that leg training is just WAY better than arm training."

They might reply:

"How do you know this?"  (And also maybe: "Shouldn’t you be focussing on thise damn janky arms?!")

And (if all of this were actually true) I might reply:

"Well this is my opinion because that is my PREFERENCE."

In simple terms, our opinions of things are influenced (among other factors) by our preferences.  I know, I know – kind of a "duh" point.  But just want to get that out of the way; influences are a source of opinion.

Now what if I wanted to "prove" my opinion?  What if I wanted to PERSUADE YOU to buy into my preference for legs over arms . . . ?

Well, I might spend some time telling you what’s so great about leg training.  Maybe about how powerful you can feel from squatting, or about some clever ways of hitting hamstrings, or tactics to make calves grow . . . I could go on and on about all the cool things about legs.

It might work.

Maybe — eventually — you might even buy into it.  Maybe I would persuade you that my opinion is, in fact sound.

Whether or not you AGREED with it, a well presented opinion is at least one that can be seen as valid.  At the very least, it is a defense of one’s preferences.  And you kind of can’t disagree with one’s preferences.

But now let’s say I went about it entirely differently.  Now let’s say I tried to express my opinion about leg day by confronting EVERY OThER WORKOUT.  

Like, instead of explaining why leg day is so great, I spent time explaining why back day is a bitch, or why chest is for pretty-boys, or shoulders are weakling muscles . . .

If I went about it THIS way I would have a MUCH harder time getting my point across.  I mean, I would no doubt be tromping on YOUR opinions.  And you would spend more time trying to defend YOUR OWN opinions that you would entirely miss my point.

Like, you might come at me defending how cool your arm workout felt.  And then we might get into a bickering match about arms.  (Imagine that: me defending NOT training my janky arms!)  Next thing you know things are getting ugly, people start taking things personal, we start verbally clubbing each other shamelessly, ego’s get bruised, arms get called names . . .

And in the meantime my original opinion that I was trying to explain – about how cool leg day is – got lost.  Instead, we had an argument about my janky arms . . .

This happens a LOT in bodybuilding discussions.  A LOT.  

Very often, in order to try to explain an opinion, folks will try to diminish opinions that may not match their own.

Not only is this a LAME tactic, and not only does it typically not "work" to express a useful, sound opinion, but also it is selfish.

It is just plain selfish to try to bolster my own opinion by dismissing or tearing apart everyone else’s.

The most sane, peaceful and compelling way to explain a position is to stick to your own experience.  Anything else is selfish . . .

I know.

I occasionally pull this bonehead move.

My regular readers (all three and a half of them) know that my tone is sometimes . . . well . . . a little, um, righteous?  Pompous?  Self-promoting?  Feel free to pick your own specific adjective – it sits somewhere in that neighborhood.

And I know I carry this little glitch . . . hey, call it the result of being youngest in a boisterous Italian household!  As a kid, if I didn’t come out swinging hard and fast, I might not GET any air time!

And I have certainly TRIED to curb this tendency.  Hopefully, sometimes succesfully.  (You guys can, again, judge THAT for yourself.)  But, on occasion, I fall back into that "snatch and grab" method of expressing myself.  

Like, for example, that post about Joe Klemziewski . . .

It’s pretty clear my opinion got lost in the rhetoric.  Some people caught it.  Some did not.  But either way, it was the fault of HOW I was expressing it.

Let’s face it: my tone was absolutely reptilian.  Cold-blooded, out for prey, without compassion.  Any worthwhile contrasting opinion I may have expressed got lost in the, well, in the K-bashing.  

I had WANTED to make a point about appropriate skepticism.  I figured I would bolster that point by illustrating how THE WAY WE SEE THINGS ISN’T ALWAYS AS THEY ARE – for good or for worse.  However, in that illustration I took a tactic that i have seen a HUNDRED MILLION TIMES in the bodybuilding world . . .

What a bonehead.  Thank GOD this is just a B-rate blog by a dude with a bunch of opinions.  

But I hate that I slipped into that mode.  I know, I know – no harm no foul and all that.  But what I would LIKE to strive for is to be an insightful force that incites critical thinking in other athletes.

Even (and perhaps especially) contrary or unpopular thinking.

In my OPINION (ding ding ding – buzz-word!) bodybuilding discussions need to be more centered on grounding our own positions, not dismantling contrary ones.  It’s ENTIRELY possible to uphold an opinion without resorting to reptilian, snatch-and-grab, ego-busting tactics.  (Unlike I shamelessly used in that K blog-entry.)

Likewise, it is also my OPINION that the responsibility to shift this mode of dialogue is a responsibility shared by ALL of us.  

Yeah, yeah, yeah – that goes for arrogant blog-writers like me, too.  

Which is why I wanted to cite the blunder here in my blog.  In the end I only undermined my own opinion.  I noticed how several people were not seeing the point I was trying to make.  They were seeing it as a PERSONAL attack rather than just a contrary opinion.  That was NOT originally what I had intended to describe.  But after looking closely I realized that this reaction was not necessarily due to poor interpretation on the part of readers . . . it was more due to selfish writing and poor expression.  

No doubt I will revisit the CORE opinions of the piece one day, and re-editorialize them again so that they can be seen as my own.  But when I do, it will be in a more compassionate fashion.  Having compassion for the world around us is not – or at least SHOULD not – be mutually exclusive to expressing a frank opinion.  Both should be able to co-exist.  It just takes a little more forethought.  They type of forethought that I would want to see form others.  And therefore, the type of forethought I should myself try harder to uphold . . .

I guess it’s important to level WITH people, but it’s no good if you simply LEVEL them!

So, for now, THAT original, low-class version I’ve chosen to yank down HARD.  It’s only fair to Joe Klemziewski.  In fact it’s only fair towards everyone I am trying to LEVEL with.  I mean, even if my opinions are useful – even if one or two might be profoundly useful – I am just not helping things or expressing them skillfully with THAT kind of brute-force editorial style.  In other words, yes, I admit: that blog editorial was written like i was some a righteous pinhead.  A righteous pinhead with janky arms, no less.  And EXACTLY the type of righteous-pinhead-with-janky-arms style I would like to see diminished in the future.

Hopefully, in time, more sensible dialogue can eventually arise out of this quagmire of opinion spewing which so chronically clogs up the bodybuilding dialogue.  Hopefully, more of us who choose to put ourselves out as pundits and educators can work out these kinks.  Mine is hardly the first time such unskillful tactics have been used, and no doubt won’t be the last . . .

How embarrassing that I totally undermined any possible usefulness of my opinion!  How embarrassing that I tried to LEVEL something instead of trying to level WITH someone!  How embarrassing indeed!

Why, it’s even more embarrassing than my janky arms!

It’s not uncommon for us bodybuilders to imagine ourselves as contemporary superheroes.  We imagine ourselves to have physical abilities beyond the scope of mere mortals.

And although it seems more the product of imagination than biology, I can actually attest that it’s true.

I have superpowers.

I am coming out of the superhero closet.  

But it is not super strength (I wish) nor the ability to fly (unless I am thrown).  It is my ears.

Yes, in spite of trying to develop a superhero physique, I actually have superhero ears.  

Bummer.

But it’s still pretty cool.  I don’t have super hearing, though.  No, my power is a little different . . .

My ears can "hear math."  

Like if you played music in a crowded, noisy, my ear can discern rhythm and tempo and pull out the music from the clatter.  My ear communicates with my brain so fast, it can identify music based on the mathematics of sound . . .

And I don’t even have to use a calculator.

And – I know, I know – you all claim to have this same superpower.

But here’s my REAL edge:

I CAN SEE MATH.

That’s right.  Just like my ear can hear music through mathematics, creating balance and form from sound, so too can my eye perceive symmetry through mathematics, and create balance and form from sight.

It’s in my biology.  I was born with it.  My eye is programmed with a mathematical equation built into it.  Whenever I see a form that is balanced and symmetrical, my eye registers it.

How do i know the vision is symmetrical?  Well, it always falls under the same ratio.  Whenever something is symmetrically balanced – and this is what we often call "beauty" – the object somehow fits a ratio of 1.618.

Now, stay with me.

I said I can SEE and HEAR math – never claimed to be great with EXPLAINING it.

So let me pick an example.  let’s see . . . I know: take a dolphin.  Think, in your mind, of the profile of a dolphin.  As if it was swimming by.   Now, notice where his eye is on his body.  Got the image?  Good.

If you divided the length of his body at that point, it would create two sections, a longer half and a shorter half.  Then if you divided the length of the longer by the length of the shorts, it would equal 1.618.

And I SEE this.  Without a calculator.  I don’t even have to measure the damn dolphin to know it’s true.

And i see it all over the place in nature around me.  Wherever I see this math, this ratio of 1.618, it is always with something that is beautiful and balanced.

Obviuously this little ability of mine comes in handy a lot in bodybuilding as well.  Whenever I see a body that is perfectly symmetrical, it is because the bodybuilder is holding himself (posing) in a way that represents the ratio 1.618.  he is holding himself in such a way where his body has a "longer half" and a "Shorter half", and the division between the two equals 1.618.

Now that division point isn’t the eye (like with the dolphin), but it could be the placement of his hands, or the definition of his abds, or the position of his knees . . . Always in a symmetrical form there is that 1.618 . . .

This weird mathematical phenomena has been studied for millenia.  The Greeks called this "The Golden Section", or "The Golden Ratio."  They gave it a name – phi – which is a name like that good old number pi we learned in geometry.

See, the Greeks did not see a difference between the natural world and the scientific.  So, by their thinking, there HAD to be a "formula" to describe beauty, or at least to describe balance.  The joke of the matter is that they were correct.

There is a formula for symmetry in nature: 1.618.

AND THE HUMAN EYE IS PROGRAMMED WITH IT!

Woops – did I let that slip?  Oh well.  Might as well come clean.

EVERY human eye is PROGRAMMED with the ability to perceive the ratio 1.618, or phi.  It is just like our ears.  Our ears are "programmed" to "hear math".  This is how we understand the difference between music (which has audible symmetry) as different from noise (which is audible chaos).  So too our EYES are programmed with the ability to see math . . .

Since the Greeks, countless masters in arts, engineerring and (duh) mathematics have studied this phenomena.  Great works of art are created, and after the fact people take measurements and discover phi all over the sculpture or painting.  Buildings are erected with the ratios of phi imbued into their structure, and we are dran in to their spaces.  Beautiful people are revered and admired, and we find measurements of phi in their face, on their torso, and all over their form.  

And I can SEE this.

Okay okay, EVERYONE can see this.

But is everyone LOOKING?

The term "symmetry" is much pandied about among bodybuilders.  We talk about it as if it were a half-half proposition.  We say "top is balanced to bottom" or "side balanced to side."  When, in reality, the human eye perceives "balance" as something very different . . .

Still don’t buy it?

Well THINK of the HUMAN EYE.  In a "perfect face" the eye is roughly at the "phi point" on the face. That is, if you used the eye as a point of division on the face – just like we did with the dolphin – then you would have two halves; a longer half and a shorter half.  If you divide the longer by the shorter you very often get – ta da! – 1.618.

Now, this means BOTH eyes are placed on the face at the phi points.

This means they are already situated at a point that responds to the number 1.618 . . .

Doesn’t it make sense – biological sense – that our eye would be genetically programmed with this ratio as our estimate of a balanced form?

And if us bodybuilders are SO concerned with symmetry, shouldn’t we become DEEPLY intimate with this equation?  Shouldn’t we be more concerned with how we PERCEIVE symmetry if we are trying to ACHIEVE it?

Now no one (or at least very few of us) is born with a body covered with perfect demarcations of the Phi ratio.  Likewis,e as we get older and our bodies change, what once looked balanced may no longer be so in a few years.  

This fact is where bodybuilding is born.  We are "chasing Phi" as we change the shapes of our physiques.  Where we once were not symmetrical, we grow a muscle or create a vascular line, and suddenly – like music – the mathematics shift into place and we are perceived as balanced.

Our posing likewise follows suit with these mathematical ideals.  We shift and contort our bodies and the new shapes we create somehow register to the human eye as "balanced".  This is why great posing is NOT the process of "hiding flaws" or "fooling the eye."  It is, in fact, the process of PLAYING INTO THE EEYE.

Solid posing works with the natural biology of human perception in a mathematical cooperation.

It is NOT about tricks.  And it is NOT about preference.  

Even thought hat is so often what we are told.

See, when people (or judges) criticize a physique for not being "symmetrical", even though they are often correct, but sadly they do not know the REASONS WHY.  So they try to explain "why" and it gets all jumbled and mixed up.  In reality, it is merely the human eye doing what it does so well: calculating the ratios of what it sees to determine what forms have symmetry, and what does not.  Just like our ear is constantly calculating mathematical shifts in volume, tone, pitch and tempo in order to determine what is music and speech, and what is noice or static.  Judges try to be fancy, and use esteric terms to defend their perception.

All they need is the damn math.  Can’t argue with biology.  No need to eloquent dissertations on what one thinks of balance and artistry.  All you need is an eyeball and a calculator to defend your call.

But, unfortunately, now we have all these "myths" out there about "what is symmetrical" and "what looks right."

Meanwhile, our eyes already know.  We were BORN with the ability to spot it.

But so many bodybuilders are busy buying into what they are TOLD symmetry is.  Their confidence is undermined by those supposed "authorities" on the sport.

Symmetry is a series of mathematically authenticated proportions.  Phi is one element to the term, but even with that it is not the ONLY math involved.  However, ironically, OPINION really has no room in the assessment of symmetry.

But I seem to be one of the only bodybuilders who knows about this . . . I am one of the few who learned his superpower:

My eye can SEE math!

Everyone else’s may be able to as well, but I am AWARE of my superpower . . .

Now, if only I didn’t look so dorky in a spandex bodysuit . . .

Ever notice how a lot of gymnasts look, well, JACKED ALL THE TIME?  Granted, they need to pull the leg mass up a little, but so many of them have upper bodies are just unfairly well proportioned.  Someone mentioned this to me recently, and it made me recall a bit of history about our sport.  

Seems we bodybuilders owe a bit of social cred to our gymnastic brothers.  The gymnasts gave us our "mythological home" on the West Coast.  You see, it was the gymnasts – not the meatheads – who got Venice, Ca the nickname "muscle beach."

It starts during the depression.  Hollywood saw a LOT of out of work stuntmen/women, as well as the fallout of post-circus-era performers and acrobats tryong to shift into Hollywood film life.

With so little money to be had, only the BEST of these physical performers would find work. This DEMANDED that they be at the top of their game.

Yet, this was the Depression, and money to pay for a training facility was scarce. Likewise, this was the 30’s ? it was not like there were gyms on every other corner like today.

Now, in order to keep youth delinquency down, the Mayor of Venice took what little funding he had and built a playground rigfht aloing Venice beach. Monkey bars, rings, swings ? all sorts of stuff. A way to keep youths occupied to perhaps cut back on crime . . .

However, it was not necessarily the kids who took to this equipment. It was the adults. Specifically, the same contingent of work-hungry stuntment, acrobats and post circus performers.

They would use Venice Beach as their makeshift training center. And as we all know from this forum thread, the way a gymnast body develops is quite impressive.

So, put yourself in the eys of the time . . . during the depression, most folks were pretty thin. People were nationally poor ? like thrid world country level of poor. So, to see these gymnastic people tumbling, swinging and flipping must have been quite impressive.

Indeed, the bodies of these athletes may not have been much compared to TODAY’s dtandards, but as compared with the average thin American, well, the big delts, chiseled abs and wide backs must have looked CRAZY big!

So the locals nicknamed the area "muscle beach."

it wouldn’t be for another 20 or so years before the first of the bodybuilders would start infultrating the area. The muscleheads (whose culture, by the way, had originally developed on the EAST coast, and NOT the west) heard of this legendary "muscle beach" and said "that’s where I belong!" Slowly, then more rapidly, the muscle men flooded Venicve.

We all sort of know how things went from their. Gold’s Gym, the Venice Beach Weight Pit, Atlas and Reeves, the Weider Empire, Schwarzenegger, Mr. O., spandex and leg warmers, aerobics, chain gyms, andro, and on and on to the present . . .

But in the end, a piece of our bodybuilding subculture’s legend and mythology emanated from the gymnasts . . .

Anyone who loves this sport’s mystique, or is romanced by the cool world of bodybuilding owes a nod to our jacked ˆ if smaller legged – gymnastic brothers & sisters.

I am SO glad to see more and more big, boated growth guts in the IFBB.

It does my heart good.  No really.  I mean, I am sure all the pharmeceutical excess of these guys isn’t doing THEIR hearts any good.  But I am glad for it.

I hope Dennis James’ enjoys his prolonged third trimester.  I really am glad to see Jay Cutler loosening his belt.  Victor Martinez’s standing upright for men with big middles is just a grand thing.  Marcus Ruhl proves that even the full figured have a place in the ranks.  And of course, our favorite prego, Mr. Coleman, whose kidney and liver definition were simply astounding.

Makes me glad.

In fact, I STRONGLY hope the IFBB sport continues that way.  I DEEPLY and PROFOUNDLY hope that the IFBB competitors become more grotesque, more preposterous, and more distorted.

Seriosuly.

Then even casual spectators will begin to accept that there are a LOT of drugs in these boys.  it will be unavoidable: people will see that is not a contest of presenting a physique, it is a contest of presenting a distortion of a physique.  

In the end, it is about how exaggerated can you become yet stil survive.  It is a contest of who has the strongest internal organs rather than the external muscles.  

And i am VERY happy about it.

It reminds me of wrestling.  Wrestling has two faces.  First, there’s "pro" wrestlin, and everyone everyone knows about that.  No one would argue against how hard pro wrestlers work.  These guys are genuinely athletes, and genuinely in great condition to be able to do all that they do.  And there is a spectacle of athletic prowess that requires skill, agility and prowess.

But let’s not kid ourselves.  Pro wrestling may be a sport – but a COMPETITIVE sport?  That’s a little challenging . . . it’s a sporting ENTERTAINMENT . . . but meanwhile, back as recently as the 80’s were some people who STILL believed that pro wrestling was not staged.  They honestly thought that this was a true contest.  It took a few decades before people got the hang of it:

Po wrestling: yes a sport; no, not quite an authentic contest.

Nowadays, we "get" that it is supposed to be about entertainment.  It is about being "wowed", blown away, thrilled.  

But then then there’s "real" wrestling.  Olympic or collegiate or classical wrestling — however you want to call it — this "authentic" version of wrestling is going on all the time.  The masses rarely hear about it.  It’s just about never covered on widespread media.  But somewhere in local gyms or tournaments it continues, unhampered, healthy and competitive.  And even if we rarely SEE this side of the sport, we all sort of quietly agree that it is somehow the "more authentic" approach to the competitive aspects of the sport.

No one says Pro Wrestling ain’t a sport, just that the Olympic wrestling is where the authentic sense of sporting competition resides; without fanfare, without showboating, according to discernable rules, and open to mastery.

And that’s a nice little point, but this is a bodybuilding blog . . . not a wrestling one.

So, back to my bloated boys on the IFBB.  

Just like their pro wrestler bretheren of Triple H, Hulk Hogan and John Cena, there is NO MISTAKING that Dexter Jackson, Jason Arntz and Albert Breckles are just as hard working.  These IFBB bodybuilders are, like it or not, genuine athletes.  They are working damn hard to do what they want to do.

So, therefore, IFBB bodybuilding is, like pro wrestling, definitely a SPORT.

But the analogy works to further the poit . . . because, also like pro wrestling, we in the public address are left to wonder: "so just how much of a COMPETITIVE sport is it?"

I mean, a STRONG argument could be made that, these days, IFBB shows are jjst that: SHOWS.  They are a bit more of an entertainment than a contest.  They are a chance to see something wild and fascinating and rare.  We get to see our wildest fantasies for muscle come to life!  We get to see bizarre proportions and wild shapes.  The sights boggle the mind and shocks our expectations!  

But when you think about, it’s all planned.  They may not necessarily know the winner, but they sure as hell know what’s going to happen in the contest.  They pick their criteria, and the judges upholding that criteria are the same powers who are setting the standards for the contest itself.  It is a pre-planned entertainment.  Whichever athlete had the body that survived under the most rigorous conditions of pharmeceutical excess in order to match the criteria is named the winner.  Then the next time they do it again, and again . . . . and the audiences buy into it eagerly.

Where does the spectacle end and the skill begin?  Where are the discernable, consistant rules and criteria to "the game"?  Where is the authenticity?

Let’s face it: the IFBB is heading the way of pro wrestling . . . slowly it is transforming into a fun, imaginative freak show.  

Right now, we are to bodybuilding as people were to wrestling in the 80’s.  Mnay people have already figured out that IFBB bodybuilding isn’t authentic in it’s sense of competition.  Yet many wild fans and hopefuls cling madly to the notion that yes, yes! YES! THIS IFBB STUFF IS REAL!

Regardless, I stick with the sensible minds, and push the analogy further.  

I think: "if IFBB bodybuilding is analogous to pro wrestling, then what part of bodybuilding is analogous to real, Olympic wrestling?"

Is there an "Olympic bodybuidling?"

Well, I personally think so.

But I think it is still stuck in the shadow of it’s noisy little brother, the IFBB.

There is still going on out there a more "authentic" version of competitive bodybuilding.  it is smaller, quieter, and harder to access than the IFBB show.  But it is more closely related to it’s original basis rooted in thousands of years of study of the human form combined with the science of human development.  it is the part of the sport that has retained it’s focus on the quality of presentation, rather than magnitude of impression.

But this side of the sport is still trying to get it’s footing.  It is muchly associated with natural shows, but even a few non-tested events have hearkened back to sensible principles.  

But one thing is for certain: genuine "Olympic" bodybuilding will not emerge until it is disassociated from the IFBB "pro bodybuilding’ entertainment.  Much of this disassociation is in the hands of the athletes and organizations who keep this degree of authenticity.  However, a portion belongs to the IFBB.

In order for Olympic bodybuilding to emerge, the IFBB will first need to be more widely regarded as farce.  I don’t mean a farce in a negative way.  Think of how the Simpson’s is a farce of family life, or how pro wrestling is a farce of Olympic wrestling: I mean a respectable, understandable, well-loved farcical version of bodybuilding. As this occurs, it will leave more room for the authentic, Olympic-based version of the sport of bodybuilding.

So, one of the ways the IFBB will be seen as a farce is if the bodes within the sport become more, well, farcical.  As the boys become more wildly exaggerated, so too will the perception of authenticity slowly wane.  

We will always love the show put on by the IFBB boys, but we will just begin seeing it — and enjoying it — for what it is.  Specifically, as something seperate from Olympic bodybuilding, even if it looks very similar.  

So, I am all for the growth of growth guts.  I am all for bizarre new proportions and demented, freakish dimensions of human muscle.  

Bring it on.

As these guts grow, so too grows the possibility that one day they will become seperate from the sport I am so fond of.

Go boys!  GROW!  God bless those guts!  Onward to victory!

I was recently paid a tremendous compliment.

I was told I have "created a well deserved reputation as a pain in the ass throughout the sport."

Wow.

Throughout the sport?  That’s WAY more popularity than I every presumed to have!  COOL!

I guess this means I’m relevant.  After all, I don’t suppose someone who’s making irrelevant statements could possibly cause such a reaction.  

Which is surprising, because I still see myself as small peanuts.  VERY small peanuts.  

I mean, MY OWN spin on myself is simple: specifically that I am a small-time, low-cred bodybuilding pundit.  Now, it’s true that I am personally on a mission, and therefore have an agenda. I am deeply and profoundly interested in helping carve out an academic basis for the proper study of the HUMANITIES in the sport of bodybuilding, in the conjunction with the sciences which have great founding.  Now that’s a huge-ass mission, and I am just a small advocate.  The work is atavist at best, and therefore arguably almost arbitrary to the fate of the sport right now.  

Or so I thought.

But wow!  Not only am I apparently a pain in the ass, but I’m a pain in the ass THROUGHOUT THE SPORT.  That’s one hell of a poll.  I wish i could see the numbers.

"Was it a landslide?" I wonder?  "Just how recognizable IS my work?"

See, up until now I didn’t even think very many people even recognized my name — much less CARED!  So to learn of my status out there . . . well, wow — I gotta call my mom.  No wait — I need me an agent!

Because — get this — I am also dually recognized by the ROYALTY of the sport!  I am the ROYAL pain in the ass!  

Now, I have long suspected that bodybuilding runs on aristocracy.  I see the sport as having a few, small governing bodies that do not act with a democratic arc.  Rather, the presiding organizations make decisions autocratically, rarely setting up true democratic structures.  Meanwhile, they work in small pockets seperate from one another, therefore cretaing the same disperate landscape as, say, a feudal structure.

In other words, bodybuilders need to "play by the king’s rules or get out of the kingdom."  Or at least that is what seems to be the message.  And, of course, many of the bodybuilders just play along.  They keep their opinions to themselves, or at best grumble as individuals.  The few who challenge the trends are quickly ostracized and forgotten.  

Keep in mind that I am an old school Jeffersonian Democracy type of American patriot.  I distrust those entities that do not aggresively seek out the opinion of the margis.  Democracy does not work if it only caters to a singular opinion.  It is the contrast of opinion that sets the stage for advancement in this country.  Elimination of marginalized beliefs is the work of fascism.  

But don’t get me wrong.  I am NOT accusing all the leagues and bodybuilding organizations of being fascists.  The last thing i want to imagine is Benito Mussolini in lime green posing trunks.  (Shudder . . . woops, I just did.)

No.  My only observation is that the landdscape of bodybuilding seems rather aristocratic.  So the term "royal" seems rather appropos.

So, if I am going to be a bug in someone’s bonnet (which, remember, i presumed I was FAR too small-time to even BE a bug, let alone FIND a bonnet), I am at least glad to be recognized as agitating the thoughts of the aristocracy.  

Lord knows I would NOT want to further suppress the masses . . . well, that would just be backwards.  After all, I’VE HERETOFORE BEEN PRESUMING THAT I WAS ONE OF THE MASSES!

But don’t worry.  It ain’t gonna go to my head.  My regular readers (four of you?  Maybe two) need not be concerned.   I won’t be putting myself out there as a the supreme authority.  I am NOT the final word on matters concerning bodybuilding, nor ever presumed myself to be.  Like I said before, I am small-time.  I’m just a mouthy pundit with opinions, and one who doesn’t get easily intimidated.  My blog focus — if well received — is only to encourage my fellow athletes towards critical thinking in all matters.   There should ALWAYS be contrary opinion.  ESPECIALLY among bodybuilders.  

I imagine the true professionals of the bodybuilding world would welcome it.

So, I guess the fact that I have a reputation is VERY cool.  I usually tend to not worry too much about reputation.  Reputatiuon is based on perception, and it seems a crazy mad waste of time trying to go around and affect EVERYONE’S perception.  I will leave people to their own ability to think.  A WILD premise, I know.

Look: worrying about reputation is too much hassle.  But I can see how this opinion – and the encouraging of this opinion – probably thjreatens others.  I mean, imagine if other bodybuilders espoused such attitudes?  Speaking freely?  Focusing directly on the result off their work instead of focusing on the REPUTATION of their work?  It would tear through the very fabric of the sport!

My god, there’d be RIOTS!

But then again, I doubt that will be happening any time soon.  Regardless of what they tell me., I am pretty sure I am still very happily stuck in my low-rent status.  It really would be a bit of news to be if I were so widely known, so widely believed or so widely heeded.  Here all along I thought I was just some little irrelevant guy!  

Who knew I was the sport’s royal pain in the ass?!  Who knew I held in my hand such massive sway and ability to influence others?!

I must really make people nervous.

But wow — what a compliment!

I got a REALLY cool piece of feedback from a competitor whose handle is "BahamaMan".  I LOVED this one:

"Christian, Read some of your blogs. You’ve got to admit that they’re long-winded and preachy, but I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. As a "natty bb" with "getting Pro card" as a goal, I especially like your point about "going pro"."

(Bahamaman is specifically referring to the blog "The Pro Card and the Wendy’s Burger", http://blog.bodybuilding.com/The_Real_XN/2007/03/21/the-pro-card-and-the-wendys-burger/)

BahamahamahamaMan, that is AWESOME!  

And as far as "admitting" to it . . . well . . . you’re RIGHT!  I am often LONG LONG LONG winded.  And certainly my ferver (read: lack of proofreading) for the topics usually lends itself to me sounding preachy.  

READ: I TOTALLY AGREE!  

I’ll do my best to recover some of my writing school precision from here on out (read: actually PROOFREAD the darn things).  I try to call attention (read: warn people) to the fact that I can write that way.  But in the end, you’re dead-on right, and it’s worth watching

But with that said, I make no promises . . . lord knows I’ll lose myself in the prose again.  The same way I lose myself in the bodybuilding! (read: stubborn as a mule and persistant as a gnat!)

And furthermore you will all agree with me that this all results itself in . . .

Oh wait.  Skip it.

Short and sweet gang:

"DISSENTION IS NOT DISLOYALTY."

This goes for all of us.

To dissent from the mainstream, and offer alternative ideas, or to challenge perspectives, or just to throw humor out there – this is NOT being disloyal.

In a sane, democratic space, dissension from the norm is what helps create changes.  It is IMPORTANT to challenge authority in meaningful, respectful ways.  

Merely challenging authority is not a sign of disloyalty.  In fact, isn’t it the opposite?  Isn’t disloyalty about working AGAINST the authority in insidious ways?  Trying to undermine?  Isn’t staging a challenge in a public and direct manner more respectful of authority – and therefore more LOYAL?

This principal goes for all things, but this is a bodybuilding blog.  So, the reason I bring it up here is that in bodybuilding there is LOTS AND LOTS of unnamed authority.  Lots of beliefs people hold to be "the only way" or "the correct way."  And there are lots of products and providers whom people feel should be beyond reproach.  As if we should never take them to task . . .

Let me apologize if these thoughts are unnattached to direct examples.  I hope you understand my point, however.  I myself have been known to launch quite a few assaults on the status quo over the years.  But it was not to create a disloyalty towards the bodybuilding mainstream.  It is only ever to incite and inspire more useful, critical and productive thinking among athletes.  

Besides to name all the examples of where people show blind loyalty withhout dissent would take a MUCH longer blog.

And this one was short and sweet.  Which, in a way, sort of dissents from the importance of the point . . .

You know, that dissention is not the same as disloyalty . . .

For my readers (all two of you) I have GREAT news!

I AM OFFICIALLY THE MOST RIDICULOUS BLOG ON THE INTERNET!

I had no idea such surveys were conducted, so this was all news to me! What an austere privilege!  I wonder what the criteria were?  

I got some exciting news from someone recently:

"This is the most ridiculous blog on the site. Quit being a jealous hater and get a life"

I am envious of the guy.  How HE got to be on the committee to elect the most ridiculous blog on the net, I will never know.  Or perhaps he is only in charge of the "jealous hater" contingent?  Oh no!  Wait a sec!  Maybe I am not THE most ridiculous blog, but only the most ridiculous in a single category!  WHAT A BUMMER!  Well, I’ll know better when my certificate arrives.

I do get a certificate for this, right?

In fact, what were the criteria again?

Hopefully the esteemed unnamed-poster will let me know those criteria soon.  After all, he is the lucky delegate who gets to bestow these honors, so I imagine he is deftly informed.  

From all I can tell, the main criteria is that one must not agree with the masses.  This is vital for ridiculousness.  If MOST of the people agree on something, then it is RIDICULOUS to challenge it.  Those few people who do not agree should be left in abject silence without a voice.  Any alternative is, indeed, ridiculous.

Also, I gleen from his note to me that to be considered ridiculous you must NOT challenge thinking.  No no.  Do not do ANYTHING to inspire alternative thought.  It is truly a ridiculous thing to even play devil’s advocate, let alone offer alternative perspectives.  Put that crazy idea away!

Really, what kind of world did I think I was LIVING in?  Putting out alternative ideas.  MADMAN!

No, ridiculous.

Thanks for the honors.  I am sure my readers (both of them) will be tickled with glee.  

Please spread the good news: I am officially ridiculous!

Okay, i keep seeing the term "natty" out there.  

I guess it is a slang abbreviation for the term "natural"?

Wait – when the frick was THIS decided?  When did I become "NATTY"?

Look, I have to BEG a removal of this status!  I AM JUST NOT COOL OR HIP OR SLICK ENOUGH FOR IT!  

I mean, seriously, I am so underqualified to be labelled something as hyper-contempo as "natty".  So to go ahead and refer to myself in a term as cool as that would be sort of hypocritical.  

Youmust understand: I am a bit of a bodybuilding dork freak.  I am HARDLY Hollister-hip enough for a cool SoBeach term like "natty"  It just wouldn’t fit – I would be a FRAUD!  In order to avoid the hypocrisy, my ONLY option would be to go on steroids!  

PLEASE help me stay clean (or rather, stay "natty" if you don’t understand what I mean) by not using this term!  

I mean, I appreciate the original IDEA behind the effort.  Is it not a marketing coup to retrofit the term "natural bodybuilding" in order to make it more appealling to a younger demographic?  Brilliant!  Lord knows that them wacky kids were having a tough enough time understanding other complex words in our society — really HARD words like "vote", "contraceptive" and "Federline" — so it always helps to put an X-box spin on these important issues of the day.  Pure capitalistic genius, right?!  Bravo!

Yet, although a sign of remarkable innovation, in the meantime it leaves us, well, "normal" people out in the cold.  What about those of us who don’t quite sit at the virtual "cool kids table" in the grand cafeteria we call bodybuilding?  What should plain, everyday, non-hip, "normal" bodybuilders be called?  Will I be therefore need to start being called "normy"?  Or "Normy-natty"?  "Normanatty"?  Ooh ooh!  We could maybe make it sort of eurostyled: "norminaté"!

But even then, I look at my ragged tank tops, my beat up wrestling sneakers used for leg-day, and my floppy sweatpants and realize again that if I am not cool enough for "natty", then I could NEVER be not cool enough for norminaté!

To me, this new term "natty" seems questionable, anyway.  Doesn’t "natty" sound suspiciously like "nasty"?  Or like the 80’s retro term for nasty, "nappy"?  I had a hard time being okay with it at first.  I thought I was being insulted!

So, I am left to wonder if maybe it’s in the name of efficiency that the term has arisen.  "Natty" has five letters, while "natural" has an EXHAUSTING-to-type seven.  How much collective time have we as a bodybuilding community saved with the elimination of two letters from our forums?  With the use of the term spreading like wildfire, one can only conclude that the time savings, when accumulated, must be adding a profound amount of liberated time into each natty bodybuilder’s schedule.  (At last!  The "natty" bodybuilder has an expra 18 seconds of training time per day, while the rest of us dinosaur "natural" bodybuilders are robbed of those apparently crucial mass-building moments.)  How much time have I lost – no wait – how much MASS have I lost by opting to speak the ENGLISH LANGUAGE all these years?  Mindboggling and terrifying to think I could be another 20 lbs. heavier if only my linguistics were more youth market oriented!

Perhaps I have this all wrong, but nonetheless I am still very concerned.  I don’t know when the marketing meeting was held, and I wish I could have attended.  I had no idea that the drop in sales surrounding the word "natural" compelled them to offer this slick upgrade.  In that same vein, have we registered it — to protect it from the marketing schemes of steroid users?  (Or are they just called "sterry" now?)  Shouldn’t natty be written: "natty®"?  Just don’t want the juice™ lawyers coming down on us for infringement.

As a matter of fact – wait – maybe I am WAY out of it.  Have we already found a new, hot name for  bodybuilding ITSELF?  I mean, I already look like a total dork every time I patiently take away the t-y and add the u-r-a-l.  But even if I’m a nerd for not yet adopting "natty", I don’t want to next become a total relic!  What is the term for bodybuilding now, in the age of the "natty" athlete (or is it just "nathlete")?  Bodybuildy?  Beedy-buildy?  B-to-the-B-ding?!  PLEASE HELP ME!  I don’t want to excluded from bobudig’s great linguistic shift!

All I ask is that, from here on out, please keep me posted.  I know I probably look like a REAL weener, but my only excuse for not being as cool as the rest of you is that — forgive me — I have been focusing on my bodybuilding itself, rather than on how cool I SPEAK about my bodybuilding.  I know, I know: my bad.  Perhaps I should spend less time worrying about my exercise and eating and put more time into worrying about how I MARKET my exercise and eating.  Sadly, I have no other defense.  

And in all likelihood I will miss any further changes because I am FOOLISHLY focusing on the actual work and progress of my natural bodybuilding.

Woops!  I meant natty bobing.

I am SUCH a know it all.  I am surprised any of you are even READING these.  What a pompous windbag!  I mean, what am I – "The Official Authority On All Things?!"  I sometimes crack myself up on how I write like I am the law . . . Trust me it ain’t that way IN MY HEAD.  That’s just how I articulate it onto the page.  Er — um — onto the screen.

In fact, I was just telling someone on here today that "articualtion" is probably among the most important qualities a bodybuilder can ever strive to possess.  (So you’d think I’d be more conscientious, right?!)  

It all came up from a great response from a someone who posts under the name "zebrasix" (cool handle – I think I know zebra’s 4 and 13, but am not sure).  She responded:

"i saw [your] thread. i thought you articulated yourself very well and brought out a side of contest prep "gurus" that you really don’t see mentioned that much"

(She was responding to my blog post: http://blog.bodybuilding.com/The_Real_XN/2007/03/20/let-gurus-off-the-hook-the-real-gurus/)

I was SO flattered.  And grateful that she recognized me for ARTICULATION.  

VERY cool zebrasix.

I mean, think about it: aren’t ALL the physique sports about "articulation"?  Isn’t that sort of a foundation of our goals?

In the physique sports we are attempting to articulate ideas through our bodies.  Ideas about image, power, gender, drive, strength determinatioon, sex, intelligence – a whole plethora of ideas expressed through the flesh.  Without an understanding of what it is we are trying to express, how will he know whether we are doing the right job?

But at the VERY minimum — even if you don’t go in for all that deep stuff — we physique athletes are trying to AT LEAST articulate the scope of our work.  We work and work and work, and our given sport is a means for articulation of that work.  Whether it’s powerlifting, fitness, or bodybuilding, we strive to have our work, effort and drive so well "articulated" in our physiques presentations that it can be assessed.

In fact, is this not what the essence of judging is all about?  Judging who is the best at articulating the work with their physique?  Mull that over a little . . .  

Articulation, in fact, is what delineates the physique sports from one another; where the focus of articulation isplaced defines each physique sport:

• In powerlifting, the articulation of the work is in the action itself.  
• In fitness, the articulation of the work is the sequence of actions.  
• In bodybuilding, the articulation of the work is in the presentation of the result of the actions.

But in all cases, it is about how well one can "articulate" the idea behind their work.

When someone recognizes my physique, I get excited for the fact that I have articulated something.  But just as important – and sometimes more vital – is when I am capable of articulating something that someone else can relate to.

I wish more bodybuilders would focus on their articulation – be it verbally, physically or procedurally.  I imagine there’d be a lot FEWER headaches and frustrations out there . . .

Lord knows my know-it-all brand of articulation has no doubt been the source of quite a few . . . !

In the past week I have had five different guys – FIVE – and one woman all tell me their "bodybuilding dream."  And it was the same.

"I want to go Pro."

Over and over I was told.  Always with a sense of pride and filled with passion:

"I am aiming to to go Pro."

Yeah, it gets pretty boring.  

Sigh.  

What the HECK does that mean anyway?  "I want to go pro?"  

Like, when a kid who loves building with Lego blocks decides he might love the study of Architecture, does he tell his buddies: "Yeah, this little Firehouse is good, but I want to GO PRO, MAN!"

Or when someone with a keen ear for others problems always seems to have sharp insight.  Does she say "I love the strudy of Psychology, but my dream is to GO PRO!"

I guess what I am after, here, is a suggestion that atyhletes would do well to contemplate that CONCEPT a little more.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO "GO PRO?"  

Is this the "end of the line?  Nothing more to conquer?

Does this prove your work is valuable?  As if up to the point of going pro your work was of less value?

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU ATHLETES TALKING ABOUT?!  The BEST athletes I have ever met are the ones that have found a LOVE FOR THE SPORT.  It is a love that is unique, and is based on what the sport brings to their lives.  It is NOT based on what the competitive physique sports can "get" them.  They stay on their game based on an internal motivation, not an external triumph.  In fact, by keeping their focus on their love for the game they usually end up presenting physiques that are far and away beyond the standards required for typical pro status.

In life, you got to stick with what you love, not chase after status.

That works in everything, kids – not just bodybuilding.  (If you’re unsure of the usefulness of this idea, try chasing status for a few years and drop me a line in your 60’s to tell me how that went.)

But back to that whole pro card, er, thingie.

There was a competitor whom I have not met but whom I have bumped into out here in online-land who goes by the handle rich55.  I mentioned himn in another blog, and he comes up now because he dropped me another quick note recently:

"I am searching for a natural pro qualifier in the September timeframe. I will PM you later and pick your brain. Thinking maybe OCB, since I have heard some good things about the IFPA. Thanks for the thorough write-up!"

That whole brain picking thing worries me – I hope he does not go in through the nose.  

But what I find MOST interesting is how he seeks a "natural pro qualifier in September."  He HARDLY needs it.  If you look at Rich’s pics, he is one impressive natural athlete.   Very shredded and balanced.  (I would kill for an opportunity to work on his posing with him – he is not showing everything he COULD – but that’s ANOTHER blofg for another time . . . )

But the pic that MOST struck me was one of him with two of his clients.  They had just competed – no doubt borrowing and learning from the experience of Rich55 . . .

So let me get this straight:

• The guy competes
• The guy has accomplished some amazing fgeats in the sport
• The guy continues to improve his game
• The guy’s bodybuilding work is vital to his PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS
• The guy’s PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS improves his bodybuilding progress . . .

AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?

Don’t all the things listed above MAKE Rich55 a "pro?"  

Did Miriam Webster go and swap out the defintion of pro one me?  Damn I hate when those people go and change the words around . . .

Such a hassle.

Let me check.

Okay here it is:  

The definition of PROFESSIONAL:

professional |pr??fe sh ?nl| noun – a person engaged or qualified in a profession • a person engaged in a specified activity, esp. a sport or branch of the performing arts, as a main paid occupation rather than as a pastime. • a person competent or skilled in a particular activity

Umm . . . Rich55 . . . newsflash . . .

CONGRATULTIONS YOU’RE A PRO!!!  

Yay.  Fanfare.  Confetti.  Explosions.

Now, I know I know I know . . . you all want that precious little PRO CARD (ooh, ahh).  You all want some league to say:

"That guy is a pro."  

Then you want to run around saying:

"Look!  Look!  I am a PRO!  See how nicely I sort of SHINE in the sunlight!"

But who are these leagues naming pros?  Or the judges?  Some of them are – let’s be honest – glorified couch jocks.  

Think of it this way:

EVERY PROFESSION has attached to it INDEPENDENT ACADEMIC BODIES which serve to define professionality in a given field.  Meaning, for example, that no college "owns" medicine, even though many colleges teach it and can dignify someone with the professional label "Doctor".  In order to be received in a given field as a true professional, you need execute that you embody the ACADEMIC FOUNDATIONS of that field.  Regardless of whether the field is landscaping or pole vaulting or law or babysitting.  

However, in bodybuilding we have these people we call "judges".  They are intended to "judge" whether we are of professional conduct.  And then those who truly are of the utmost professional conduct wiull get "rewarded" with a pro "card".  

BUT WHO THE HELL IS QUALIFYING THE JUDGES?!

I mean academically, ethically, professionally and procedurally – WHO QUALIFIES THE JUDGES?  

Name me the INDEPENDENT ACADEMIC ORGANIZATION that sanctions these individuals.  I dare you . . .

So her in lies the PROBLEM with the "pro card."  It would be like me pointing to my buddy Ben and saying:

"Ben’s a professional dog sitter."

And everyone asks:

"How do you KNOW Ben’s a porofessional dog sitter?"

And I simply reply:

"Because I’m the JUDGE."

WHAT MAKES SOMEONE THE JUDGE OF PROFESSIONALITY?  Typically it is an academic institution which sets the foundations, and then a private institution which upholds those standards.  Think of those who become personal trainers.  We all KNOW it is NOT a complex process: in the end it boils down to study for a test and pass it.  And even though many personal trainers are grossly under-qualified to act as professionals, they at least have a private foundation whose credibility backs them as professionals.

In Bodybuilding?

No such luck.

Why?

Because CURRENTLY THERE IS NO ACADEMIC FOUNDATION FOR THE STANDARDS OF BODYBUILDING. Plenty of private organizations, but no founding academic principles.  The OTHER sports have them.  But bodybuilding?  Sorry.

Without that academic foundation, there is no truly qualified judge.  The only thing judges are qualified to actually do is uphold the standards of a league.

And who is to say that those league’s standards are academically arrived upon?  Who’s to say that any of the leagues have the credibility to appropriately determine what, in fact, qualifies a bodybuilder as a "pro"?

After all, Rich55 is already a "pro" in essence.  

But I don’t blame him – or anyone – for wanting that pro status AFFIRMED by a REPUTABLE organization.  Unfortunately, as I have been implying, it’s hard to say IF any of the current organizations are genuinely that reputable as judging bodies.

So, essentially, you could go chase yoru pro card but I will tell you this:

After you win that pro card do you know what it is worth?  Well give me that pro card and $6.00 and I’ll get you a burger at Wendy’s.

That’s about how much it’s worth.

Currently, the only people who put DIRECT value on a pro card are those associated with the organization who GAVE the pro card.  

THERE IS NO INDEPENDENT ORGANIZATION SANCTIONING PROFESSIONALISM IN BODYBUILDING.

So, am I saying don’t try to go pro in any league?  Not at all.  Go for it.  Do your best.  try to go pro in all the leagues.  Go crazy – help yourself.

JUST PLEASE REMEMBER THIS:

YOUR OWN ABILITIES EXTEND FAR BEYOND THE DESIGNATION OF "PRO" BY ANY CURRENT LEAGUE.

This goes for ALL of you athletes out there, not just Rich55.  Your love of the sport is much stronger than the goal of pro.  You gain credibility by DELIVERING CONSISTANTLY, not by delivering dramatically for only one time.

PROFESSIONALS ARE ESTMIATED BY THEIR WORK OVER THE LONG RUN.  They should not be determined by a one-day performance.  That sort of defeats the whole idea of standards.  

So, set your bodybuilding goals FAR BEYOND the pro cards.  DO NOT SET YOUR PACE ACCORDING TO WHAT SHOWS YOU CAN TURN PRO!  

As a bodybuilder, you do your best work AT YOUR OWN PACE.  SET YOUR PACE FIRST, then enter contests that suit YOUR pace.  The pace of building dense mass, of cutting to vascular shreds, or managing your posing to a syngergistic and symmetrical pithe.  

THAT is what a PRO does.

As a coach it is my job to make sure that an athlete is at the top of their game.  That they have a handle on their weak points, and that they know the "game" of bodybuilding inside and out.  I have to work with them to diminish anything that might weaken their ability to present competant displays of density, vascularity, symmetry and synergy.

Pity that most of the athletes out there think that "going pro" is the top of their PERSONAL game.  

Gimme a break.

Look for most of the people I have met – heck, for most of the people READING this (all four of you – ha ha!) – you are capable of presenting aphysique that far exceeds the standards of "competitive pro status."

One day there will be an INDEPENDANT SANCTIONING BODY that reviews professionality based on an ACCREDITED ACADEMIC FOUNDATION in order to designate pro status.  We do not yet have that.  

Maybe YOUR incredible bodybuilding work will be what sets that pace.  If you stick with YOUR game and do NOT play theirs, maybe it will be YOUR incredible feats that ignite the demand for such a high standard.

But as long as you play their game, and limit your personal progress on the ladder invented by the leagues, this higher standard will not arise, nor will you be part of it’s institution.

So, when you tell me your dreams from now on, first answer me this:

WHICH is most IMPROTANT for your bodybuilding "career":  

To be merely recognized?

Or to be RELEVANT?

Do you want to merely be one among the herd, or the one who stands out and is remembered?

Your physiques and your work is capable of conquering the expectations and inspiring the imaginations of many, many others.  Through your work – your very PROFESSIONAL work – you are capable of accomplishing feats within bodybuilding that few others ever could.

Where do you REALLY want to go?

Don’t sell yourself short.  Don’t tell me that you want to "go pro."  

Tell me you want to be great at what you do, and you want to be that physique that makes a genuine impact on this sport, and potentially on the world.

Tell me this is your goal, whether you make it or not.  And with the looks of your hard work, I will believe you. Better yet, I can support you.

Set your personal standards high, like a true professional.  To hell with their pro card.  If you;re so damn good, you’ll get it anyway.  No need to chase it.  Stay focussed only on your own game.

Let them know that the only thing their Pro Card will get you is a burger at Wendy’s.  And even then you’ll need $6.00.

VERY cool comment came in to me from a guy who’s bodybuilding.com handle is njmuscle66.  VERY intense physique on the guy, and I LOVE that he had a pic of himself from the early nineties wearing the wild-print bodybuilder BAGGIES!  Way to represent!

But this entry is NOT about muscle fashion trends (more on THOSE another time).  This is about what njmuscle66 wrote at me:

"I agree with alot of what you have to say about contest prep gurus in general."

he was mainly referring to the entry I had posted regarding "Dr." Joe Klemziewski.  My main goal when i wrote that entry was to be useful, not to tear down any institutions.  Of course, with me, the accidental tearing through the fabric of people’s rhetoric is a fun side benefit . . . so hey, I never said I WOULDN’T tear anyone down, just that it was not the GOAL.  Anyway, I never heard back from the original guy who had got me ranting about Klemziewski anyway, but I hope it helped.  

Back on topic, XN . . . back on topic . . .

I liked what njmuscle66 had to say about "gurus."

For myself, well, I actually have no problem with gurus.  

Indeed, I think they are pretty damn necessary.  

I love ‘em.

That is, the gurus.  Not "The Gurus", or the "GURUS".  Just the gurus.  You know; the ones without quotations around their names or capital letters denoting that they are the PROPER NOUN version.  

Real gurus.

Love ‘em.

If there are any left, of course.

See, what I have a hard time with is those guys who merely MARKET themselves as gurus, or at least in that guru fashion.  They use the credibility of "guru" to not only imply they are wiser than us, but also have some huge spiritual destiny behind their sales.  

Now, to his defense, I am sure that Klemziewski has never once been caught calling HIMSELF a guru.  But there is that little essence of cultishness with his company . . .

And here is where I myself need to be tread lightly.  A lot of the teams and athletes I coach will sometimes casually mention soemthing like:

"Oh, Christian?  Yeah he’s my coach, but he’s also, like, this crazy mad guru of bodybuilding."

This freaks me out VERY quickly.  I love the compliment (which one of us who works hard to help others wouldn’t like hearing that level of respect?).  However, I usually playfully whack whomever said it across the back of the skulland tell them not to promote me THAT way.  There are MANY coaches in this organization, and MANY people with wisdom.

What I do not like is how people want that reputation out there.  Like the term "guru" becomes their calling card.  I find it distasteful to try to alter people’s expectations prior to their meeting me.  To let it cycle around that I am a guru, or ANYONE is a guru, sets the stage with expectations . . .

And I have always learned that "expectations are merely premeditated disappointments."

In today’s marketing-heavy world it is hard to extricate bodybuilding from the capitalism.  In my coaching, this is a MAIN concern of mine.  So, by nature I tend to try to steer somewhat clear of sensationalized self-references.  The last place I want to be is lost among the idiot peddlers and panderers!

But the gurus are cool.

Love ‘em.