TexasTorch’s BodyBlog

Back from vacation at the beach with my family…shall I get "you need to gain 20lbs" tattooed on my forehead so I can see it EVERY day??  I know they mean well and want to me to be healthy…but I long for the day (and honestly I though it would actually occur on this vacation) that SOMEONE in my fam would say "wow, you look good.  I can tell you have been working out hard".  while there, I was having a little trouble with my upper back and asked my dad to massage my shoulders for a sec to try and work the knots out…as he helped me  I directed him to the muscle where the biggest knot was, and he says (now, I adore my father so I am not saying by any means that he is a big ogre…) "there is no muscle back there, you are all bones!!"  I hang my head and walk out wondering wtf I am trying to do…Yes, I know I am too thin for many people’s tastes, and that’s fine (I get reminded now and then with random comments) but it’s not like I am sitting on my ass, doing nothing but starving myself.  At least I have squashed the notion that I am anorexic, they saw how much I eat…so I guess that’s good.  So, time to pick myself up and dust myself off…

I am fairly pleased with how my abs are developing!  I thought they were done, but I am seeing small improvements each week!  I am loving the new veins I am seeing…I hit the beach next week with my family so I am having a little anxiety already about what they will say, that they will take away this high I am feeling.  They say things for my well being, but it is a similar feeling of telling someone who is overweight "maybe you shouldn’t eat that" as when they say the answer to all my problems would be to gain 20 lbs….they love me and they mean well but they don’t understand what I am going for…

I had no idea my legs looked like that.  Not that I walk around flexing my muscles all the time, except for these super guns I got goin on…I am really enthused by my progress and can’t wait to get back in the gym for another leg day.  Now, if only the backside would get with the program…glut crease…you are next!

I know typically the lower body needs LOTS of toning after kids, so I finally get around to taking that dreaded shot of the rear view…whoa.  Clearly I need to check that side more often!  Ouch that needs lots of work, and I am pretty sure I am gonna have to delete that shot…  Squats ’til I puke!  then some more.

ok, I am feeling better about things in general.  Kind of got nailed by most of my family when I saw them and it got me down.  It’s not easy to constantly be told to pack on 20 pounds so I would look better!! 

ok, so now my family thinks I am anorexic or bulemic. What’s the deal?????? I lift heavy (as heavy as my knee and wrist can manage) and I am increasing how much I can do…so I know I am getting stronger.  Is it just that hard to pack muscle onto a tall frame?  I am gonna seriously have to re-evaluate my diet and change things up…Not gonna quit…I want to compete someday…just have to stay positive.

For cryin out loud…will my arms ever get any bigger, or show more def?  I guess the same could be said for the rest of me!  Someone commented on one of my pics "nice but do you lift weights."  Got me thinking if I am just kickin my own ass for nothing but being skinny…