TenaciousA’s BodyBlog

Decided that as a means to break the habit I have to keep a f’n journal…as in a 4th grade journal…anything to keep myself away from being a weak ass punk.  I’ve accepted the fact that to take back control of myself I have to keep myself distracted, an acceptable cognitive behavioral technique, until I am not anxious over my destructive behaviors.  I haven’t decided where this journal will be kept but it sure as hell won’t be on here as it would be too boring and too personal for everyone to endure.  I just want to get better AND to let my body show all of the work I put in, you know?

Okay y’all…I have been eating like a mofo and not doing ANY cardio compared to what I was….I know that JH is the man and knows what he’s doing but WTF?!?  I feel like I have been the same size for FOREVER…I’m pulling more weight but F not seeing it!
I suppose I’ll have to keep doing work….

I know and realized, as I have a thousand times before, that what I do outside the gym affects my performance…and my only weakness and threat thereof really may hinder my progress.  I’ve given myself a goal in place of this habit in attempt to break this habit: I want a freaking sixer by Christmas!  This four sh*t has got to be made into six.  I’m hoping to be committed to this gift to myself and hope that it will help me overcome.  I will never feel like a true competitor until I can break myself free of this freaking cycle!!!

I don’t really understand why being an addict of this lifestyle, something that’s awesome for you, is unhealthy…I do appreciate that any addiction is BAD in it’s right that you have no control over yourself but this addiction I don’t know if I want to give up…

Sorry….