Tazmss1’s BodyBlog

Another month into it….got on the scale this am….365…less of a change in the numbers, but more in inches. I have found myself wearing clothes(comfortably) that I havent worn in years(like two inches in the waist, about two in the chest, estimated…). With that, though, I have decided to change my goal - instead of wanting to lose 70 lbs, I am wanting to lose 125 lbs(this will bring me down to 265(a weight that I have not seen since High school…) - 25 down, another 100 to go!! I still have the scale issue….looking at it and wanting it to drop so severely, but knowing that it won’t(meanwhile, my fiancee has lost about 30 lbs in three weeks - post gastric bypass surgery…does that help my case? not quite, but it does somewhat add to my frustration, even adding some bitterness to the situation…). A really good friend of mine(as well as my BB.com "angel", Ben1993), to stop looking at the scale and let your clothes be your guide…   I will say this, it aint easy, but I remain determined….   one other thing…thanks, everyone for the support…

Well, I am 4 months into this thing…I am still @ 368 lbs(from 390 in Jan, but not much of a change since i started the blog…) It seems like everyone eround me is going the surgical route, to lose weight….I disagree with that, but then when I know I eating better(started a nutrition plan two weeks ago…), working out and dont see any change in the scale numbers, I start thinking that maybe they have something and i dont….  I do see changes in inches, colleagues tell me that they see that I am losing weight, etc - but I have the fixation on the damn scale…each time I dont see it move, I start thinking that I’m not doing something right….  But, yet I press on….

My last post was actually from January/February(I just sat on it until April…go figure!). Currently, I am down to 370 lbs, but I seem to be stuck there…Imay fluctuate as low as 364, up to 375(water weight, I believe)…this the part where it is really getting frustrating…I have went to eating smaller meals/drinking more water, cutting back on red meat/alcohol/junk foods, as well as eating leaner meats, poultry/fish,etc. but it seems to have no effect, at least from what I see from the scale…

I sit here and write this, wondering if i should do this at all(maybe I should just delete this entire profile and go back in to hiding…), but then I start thinking if I put this out there, maybe i can read my words, when I have no motivation and it will help me get back on track…

Around 1/25, I got on to my scale, and noticed that I was 390 lbs…that, coupled with the fact that i have been stressed, have no energy, and had 0 motivation, all combined to let me know that I needed to do something, but that wasn’t enough…it actually took my fiance’ telling me that she was going to have bariatric surgery, that really spurred me into doing something. I was always saying that I am against any unnecessary surgery, and that a person can do it on their own….now, it became time to "put up or shut up". I figured, that at 37 years of age, weighing almost 400 lbs,  if i can’t do it now, I probably wont be able to…but i wont know if I dont do something. Now I will admit, that i did have dreams about losing that 70-100 lbs and telling my fiance’ that i did it without going under the knife, to have he see that I could be done. I realized that it is not so easy though.