Lost it, looking for it, not found it yet! But I shall…
Summer is almost over so now should be the time I’m looking forward to putting on some muscle, the gym will be cooler (we have no air con and it gets over 30 in there) and I can get some good training sessions in.
However, I have a ringing in my ear (tho not tinnitus) and a ‘crackle’ in the back of my throat. So, am on antihistamines to sort this out. Been taking both for a few weeks and naff all difference. Not sleeping well and everything seems to ache, but not been working out, well nothing like I used to! I have zero energy and the less energy I have the less I’m inclined to do and eat right. I’m turning from a fit to fat!! I got home yesterday and slept for 3 hrs, from 5 til 8pm. I just couldn’t stay awake and then found it really difficult to wake up, totally unlike me. Then obviously, I couldn’t sleep when I went to bed!! Grrrr! I just feel like someone has turned me inside out, back to front and spun me in a circle and now I’ve lost my way.
I’m putting the lethagy down to the tablets and the medicine, initially. But then I know I’m compounding the problem by eating rubbish. I very very rarely eat chocolate or crisps.. even had a pizza the other night, god knows why, I don’t even like them but got it as a girlie night in treat for me and my eldest daughter.. won’t bother again, I think I’m still digesting it! Chocolate ice creams and bars and the like, like I’ve never eaten before. I can feel the fat bubbling and exploding as I’m typing and my god, doesn’t it make you feel complete pants, how do people live off this stuff all the time??!!
I have recently bought a horse (A Spanish PRE stallion) he is lovely and we are getting to know each so I have been riding quite a bit and haven’t ridden like this for a long time.. which has made me very stiff in the butt area! lol So, I guess a little exercise there but, not like I need to do.
I feel completely at at sea and don’t seem to be able to snap out of it. I like my routine and my new boy has got me right out of that, since as soon as I finish work I have been driving over to his stable, 30 mins from where I work, but you have to time it right or it could be hrs due to traffic! I’m there for a couple of hrs and drive home make dinner, get stuff ready for work the next day and repeat. Gym isn’t in there at all.
My life is a little busy but I’m sure given that if I can be in 2 places at once, that I’ll come up with a plan, where I can ride and train as much as I need to and stop eating rubbish. 
So, I have given myself this week off (last week was off as well but that was spent doing a lot of horsey things) to sort my head out and get a routine in place and get myself organised, otherwise I will beat myself up and procastinate even more and get myself in an even bigger knot and downward the spiral towards the land of chocolate, crisps and heaven knows I might even start liking pizzas!
I have a 25 min walk home, mostly up a very steep hill, hmmm but I could catch the bus and eat a double decker on the way.. but NO.. I SHALL powerwalk home and do constructive things today. It’s daughter no 2s 16th birthday tomorrow so need to get things ready for her in the morning, cards and the like to open. I leave at 7am, so she’s not up then but at least she’ll have her cards and presents to open.
I can then cook a gloriously healthy dinner and make my lunch for tomorrow and a healthy snack to take riding, (instead of grabbing some rubbish from the garage on the way before my stomach digests itself). So, sorting diet out for the rest of this week, I shall not give in and buy ice creams to walk home with (I nearly did yesterday but resisted.. oh well done me!) and I shall do nice chicken something with a bucket of veg for dinner
I shall re write my training plan, uuum sometime before Monday and next week I start training, 3 days a week and fit in riding on 2 of them and then riding the rest of the days. He needs riding or at least taking out every day if I can as he’s in a stable and not a field like he’s used to, he also needs to lose some weight, a bit too well looked after before!
I shall take some pics and post them.. yikes, I’m looking much errrm ’softer’ than I was.
I shall, take all measurements and post them
I shall be accountable for my actions
I shall not wallow around in my lethagy and self pity from Monday..
OK now I HAVE to do it!
