TDetroit’s ramblings and nonsense

I’ve been rollerblading so much that when I get to bed at night I can’t sleep because my legs are on fire.  Sort of a jelly legs DOMS.

I am not getting much sleep because of the burning.  I go lay down and then it’s a long time layng there awake but not enough awake to get up and do something.  too tired to attempt to make use of the time.

I am now one of those who waits for teh weekend to be able to get some sleep.

Side note to all of you bikers out there. 

My friend Harvey, was riding down to TN to pick up some …ahem… party supplies.  He was in the lead and his friend dropped back just a bit.  A car squeezed in between and nudged Harvey’s rear tire.  Harvey went out of control and hit the car in front of him, fell of his bike and the car who nudged him ran him over. 

It really sucks.  Why can’t car drivers have respect for motorcyclists? 

The funeral viewing is today and the funeral is tomorrow. 

These days suck!

Since I’ve lost a lot of weight, it is important to gauge my sets to see if I am losing strength.  I did lose a bit of strength, but not as much as you would think 20 lbs would be. 

I did 5 sets of 10 of Bent over DB rows at 40 lbs, 5 sets of 10 of DB raises at 40 lbs, 1×9 and 1×8 of DB presses at 40 lbs (this one tells me I have lost some strentght), 5 sets of 10 of DB reverse flies at 30 lbs.  My back feels great - lol.

I am going to get the girls to school, and then showeer and take a nap.  I did something stupid last night and ended up awake until almost 1 am.  I should know by now not to go look at the blog from the 2 weeks in the hospital, especially before bedtime when the next day is a big day.

They said it was one of the things I would have to do.  I didn’t know it would creep up on me.  It took weeks to realize it.  At first I wanted to go there, then I promised I wouldn’t ask to go there.  Then one day I just asked for her to come back here. 

I was going from room to room and not remembering why I went there.  Now I know.  I am looking for Audrey.  She’s not there.  I can spend a lot of time walking back and forth from one place to another trying to remember what was so important that I had to get up and walk.

I lose things too.  Lost a half hour yesterday looking for my wallet.  I never did that before. 

It simply occured to me that I do not believe she is not here. I keep expecting her to walk in.  When I see a picture of her, I actually have to tell myself, "she’s not here" or, "she’s not coming home".  It isn’t a shock like before.  It is simply something I have to remind myself.  I don’t seem to be getting it the first time I say it. 

Well, one phase is down - well almost.  at some point a few years from now, I might believe it. 

I can’t wait until I see the shrink again.  There is so much to report.  Ahhhggg!  I must be crazy.  I am so destined to fall on my face.  totally nuts.