So I have finally decided to start another, new journey toward my body goals. So I must first set my goals, right?

Goals:

1. Feel better, less tired.

2. Control emotional eating.

3. Fit into my clothes, fit into smaller clother.

4. Find my bliss and smile.

Why

1. It is quite apparent to me that I am beginning to feel tired, bad about myself, unsuccessful and depressed. THe same as I did before I lost some weight. When I think to when I was 173. I was much happier, I was enjoying life. People took notice.

2. I will never be successful if I cannot control this tendency. It sets a bad example or my children.

3. I truly do not want to have to buy bigger clothes again! I am so saddened that I am almost to this point. I look aweful in my clothes, and I feel frumpy.

4. I have always been a little self sabotaging. I Think it is time for me to take responsibility for my happiness in life. Go for it. Someone once told me, what happens if you try something and it doesn't go as planned? You are back where you started, but have become wiser and can start again. So here I am. Wiser, starting again.

Well I am starting again. I just passed the goal date I had set for myself last year. Between summer, injuries, and general lack of discipline, I did not reach it. So how am I going to fix this? I am just going to do it. As mentioned in an earlier post, I never regret when I work out, only when I don't. This is much the same. No matter what the outcome, if I commit to making my life healthier and better, I won't regret it. So my theme for this contest is no excuses, no regrets. Still working to be that friend to myself.

Today was tiring at work, kids fighting at home. But I dragged myself to the gym and had a great workout. It occurred to me afterward, that when I don't work out I often regret it. But never have I regretted when I do work out. What a concept. I also evaluated my first weight lifting workout of this new program and decided that I am not pushing myself hard enough. Next time I think I can go higher in the weights, and still be safe and use good form. Glad I went tonight, I learned a lot.

So here it is. Aug 31st. I am about 1/2 way to the goal I set out to acheive in Jan. I have a lot of work to do. I just started the live shredded contest and am excited. I definately have not taken the time this summer to get on here. Here is what I learned from this. Without the support and motivation this site offers(just from viewing the possibilities), it is much harder to stay on track. Again, as with working out....you must make the time to use the tools available to you. Lesson learned. Time to get back in the game....

I am completely excited that I have grown in strength. I felt it, but now it is official. I have increased my bicep curl weight to 20 lbs., and my shoulder press as well. I have increased all my weights actually. It feels really good. I even did push ups tonight, and although they were still modified, it seemed easier to do(probably because there is less weight to push up.) Thanks BB.com and ON. Although, I have not adopted the eat only eggs and protein bars/shakes, I have transformed my diet and lifestyle immensely. I feel it has been in a way that I can sustain for good, and not just for 12 weeks. I feel like a truly different person, and have been told to buy new clothes. LOVE IT!

So tonight I went to yoga and aerobics. I was a bit afraid because I forgot my knee brace. I thought, great I am going to reinjure my knee. BUT, I didn't I rocked it. Yoga was easier with just the small strides I made, and aerobics was also easier. I found that I was very deliberate in my movements, flexing my muscles as I moved. It felt great. I feel more toned, lighter on my feet and confident when I walk. I cannot beleive how good I feel. I was walking down the street and said to myself, I can't belive I waited this long to feel good. THanks Bodybuilding .com!

Sooo, with this knee injury, I have been kind of down. Feeling like I can't do this. My diet has been great the last couple weeks, so I am still kind of losing, but my workouts have been sporatic. Yesterday, I was running late to pick my kids up from school(only like 2 or 3 minutes), but if I am not standing at the door, my 7 yr old starts crying. Of course, when your are running behind, things don't go easily. The closest parking spot was a long block away. So I parked and ran. I actually ran. I don't normally do that, always thought there was no way a 200 lb woman could run that long. My husband always tells me that if I can do aerobics or Zumba for an hour, I can run further than I think. I felt so liberated. I mean just strong, and able. Tonight I did about 10 minutes of HIIT. Not much, but I did it. I am totally excited. MY knee is finally feeling better, still hard to do heavy weights, but I am finding alternate ways to exercise them. I have decided to step it up. The last few days I have been overwhelmed with the things that have piled up while I am doing this contest. I keep telling myself, the contest is only 12 weeks, but what I need to accomplish is a life change. Incorporating this lifestyle into my life. I can't wait until summer. Anyways, I feel better and am ready to finish this strong!

Yesterday- 1 hour aerobics with abs.

Today I rock the bodyrock 550, if I can ever get my kids taken care of. Ugh!

JUst officially started the transformationtoday! I have soo many emotions. Dread at the before pics, excited to begin a new journey. Fear that I won't finish. Shoot, fear of all the unknowns. Pride that I am not complacent anymore about the status of my body!