SweetNightshade’s BodyBlog

I’m impressed with how little time it took for my definition to start returning. About three weeks ago I couldn’t see a single peak, and now I’m starting to get a nice curve in my biceps and calves. It’s nothing like what it used to be, but it’s encouraging to see it coming back.
My strength’s increasing pretty fast, too. My left arm was pretty weak compared to my right, and it’s already catching up.  With all this progress, I’m hoping that by the end of the year I’m back to something I can reasonably call a body builder’s body.
What are your end of the year goals?

On Thursday, my workout partner (an ex-football player standing at 6′9", over 300 lbs.) went to his first yoga class with me. He joked a lot before hand, about the noises he’d make, the number of times he’d fall, but he went and he gave it all he got. At the end, the instructor even told him how surprised she was at his starting flexibility.

He’s a big man. That makes him a great partner to have at the weights. He knows what he’s doing, and by god, he pushes me hard. When I’m reaching a point where I’m not sure I can do another rep, he steps in and helps guide the weight up, encouraging me to make it through to the end. In turn, he lets me take my turn as gym Hitler when we reach the mats. If he’s cramping, he does the yoga poses I tell him to, and the muscles release. He’s even stopped complaining about doing plank pose and told me to up the timer on the hold. And now he’s gone to a full-blown yoga class with me. I was so proud of him. It’s great for his flexibility and balance, which translates to better safety when lifting, and when it was over he said he could totally see the benefits.

Men and women don’t tend to work out together too much, but I think it should be done more. Our bodies are inherently different, and it’s a special kind of cross training to let your partner broaden your routine into something traditionally used by the opposite sex. I’m convinced that we’ll both be in better shape, more wholly cultivated, for it.

How do you take advantage of a partner situation? Do you push each other to try new things, or do you both enjoy the same routine?

I look forward to hearing your answers!

~MJ

I entered feeling totally crabby. I skipped all weekend because I had work to do - which I didn’t get done, because I felt totally crabby. Exercise isn’t just something I do to get sexy, it’s also part of my depression treatment, and it was a stupid idea to skip any of it for any reason. I won’t be doing that again.

The good news is, about ten minutes into the lifting routine, I was feeling pretty damn awesome. Not to mention, I ate clean all day. I’m announcing this the first in a new series of successes.

I’m at 36"-28"-40" right now. My goal is 36"-26"-36". I can totally reach that by my wedding next October. I will be one kick-ass bride. Of course, I wouldn’t complain if I reached it a bit early.

Here’s to momentum!
~MJ

I’m bad. I let H1N1 totally knock me off track, and then I just never got back on. The past three months were spent in a very unhealthy home situation, where I felt of no value to anyone and couldn’t see the point in maintaining a nice body. I wallowed in my worthlessness and gained back a little over ten pounds. I still feel pretty disgusted when I look in the mirror, but it’s time to move on. These things happen.

I still don’t really feel that anyone cares about how I look, but I need to care about how I look. I need to put my opinions first and place worth on myself. And if I want my modeling career to extend past the two photo shoots I’ve already had, then I need to get a grip. There are some very charming plus-sized models, but that’s not what I want to be.

Luckily, I have some local support this time around. My best friend is in a similar situation. He’s been dealing with a crappy home life for quite a while and wants to get back down to his football weight. Plus he has a new girlfriend to impress, which always helps. We’ll be doing lifting together MWF, I’ve got an hour of yoga scheduled on both Sun/Sat, and I need to find something fun and athletic to do on R. T is my rest day, since I have classes from rise to rest.

I know what works for me. I know that I need to track my calories and post in my blog. I know that my biggest obstacle is finding a sense of self-worth. I have amazing things going with my career right now (working on a novel, had a play produced last week, in talks about a short film), but there’s nothing that can make me feel like a failure faster than my body. The scale goes up and I feel like I’m right back in middle school. But I really don’t have a choice. I have to do this. I have to try. Even if I feel it doesn’t make a difference. I need to be able to look at myself straight in the mirror again. I need to be able to love myself.