I’m Not Giving Up
I know many of you are probably wondering where I went. Shortly after my last post, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. The months since then have been hellish and embarrassing. I feel guilt and shame for being depressed, which in turn makes me more depressed. Working out, something I used to love to do, has become a chore. I am on medication that permeates every day with fatigue. I have finally found a therapist I like and a system I trust (The Depression Cure). The science behind it is comforting, as I’m sure all you supplement-addicts can understand, and it utilizes exercise. I seem to have the tools, but I still feel utterly in the dark.
I’m not ashamed to admit this to you. You have been here for me through plateaus and binges. You have seen me struggle with my greatest weaknesses, known me as a human being, and responded with love. You look up to me, call me inspirational, call me beautiful. You amaze me, and I’m asking for your help yet again.
Any support or advice will be cherished. Tell me how you get pumped, get angry, refuse to let life crush you. Tell me how you laugh at obstacles, lift them over your head rather than go around them like non-lifters. Tell me how you feel passionate and confident again. Tell me how you know you can do it.
I couldn’t possibly name every person on here who has supported me. You all make me smile every time I read a comment from you. You all make an impact on my life. But I’d like to say a special thank you to vmvbwozniak for nominating me as inspirational. You manage to make me feel strong in my weakest moments.
Thank you.
July 23, 2009 at 10:01 am
Hey there,
First of all you have nothing to be embarrased about and you are taking matters into your own hands and doing something about it!
So stand tall, and know that we all are pulling for you! We don’t just call you beautiful, and inspirational but we Know you are.
But you need to believe it! Because you are!
Keep up the great work!
Jeremy
July 23, 2009 at 10:13 am
I admire your strength for fighting through like that.
Here are a couple of thoughts that get me through those times when I don’t feel motivated.
"We all struggle and get knocked down sometimes, but the fight isn’t over unless we stop getting back up."
"If I don’t go exercise now, then I’m wasting all the time I have put into over the last 8 months. Why would I have worked that hard and then throw it away now."
July 23, 2009 at 10:20 am
I think we all have little demons we have to fight. You’ve have already taken the biggest step in seeking the help you seem to want. I think we all get down about different things from time to time, some may be more serious problems/causes than others, but the important thing is to keep pushing through. You seem to want and are doing that. Before you know it, all the sh*t will be left behind and it will be on to bigger andf better goals. Keep up the fight and blast it every time you get in the gym.
July 23, 2009 at 10:45 am
1st, glad to see you back & also getting help. Focus on the inner strength. Its no different than the physical that brings us all. It needs to be trained, developed, rested, refed, and steadily brought up to a level of inner fitness that you are content with. Never satisfied, but content. Developing the physical is a great way to promote this inner strength, ironically, Its all symbiotic - each aspect feeding off the other. I am positive you will develop both of yours to the image of both that your mind’s eye sees.
July 23, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Thank you everyone. Within minutes of posting this, comments and messages started pouring in. You all really helped give me a push. I’ve been in the middle of moving and hadn’t brought over my weights to the new apartment yet. The first thing I did when I got off work was go grab them.