Family Victories
I’m sure anyone in a serious long-term relationship has had issues similar to this.
Every Sunday my fiance and I go to his mother’s house for dinner. She worked in the food industry for several years before becoming an antiques dealer, so her food is good. She also tends to follow the restuaraunt idea of several courses in a meal. Now, it’s usually nothing huge, but salad, entree, and desert.
At one point in my weight loss struggle I had joined a diet plan that was very expensive and extremely restrictive. Extremely. So I bit the bullet and told her that I’d have to start bringing my own meals every Sunday. Turning down a family meal is often seen as such a huge insult to the cook that I was naturally concerned. She reacted well for the most part, thankfully.
Now, I know I can go back to doing this if I absolutely have to. But I’ve been trying to really make that jump from miserable dieter to happy lifestyler. So I figured I’d just head over and see how it went. She had made buttered corn, chop-steak, french fries, and texas toast. I ditched the worst of the carbs, but did have a decent serving of corn and even grabbed a pickle. Tossed a little mustard next to the steak and was done. She and her husband both gave a "No fries?", but I simply said "No thank you" as sweetly as I could and no one argued it. Phew. Of course, after dinner came desert. A tray full of giant oatmeal-raisin cookies. The spot in front of me just happened to be the most accessible, so they sat the entire tray right under my nose.
I didn’t take any. Not one. Just another kindly "No thank you". I had already told myself in advance that desert is not on-plan. And you know what? I didn’t die. I didn’t spend the next 30 minutes staring at the cookies, thinking how unfair it is that I can’t have one. In fact, I talked more than I usually do because I wasn’t focused on the food. It was freeing.
We’ll see how it goes the next few weeks. Fresh brownies pop-up pretty often. And they might be a smidge harder to blissfully ignore. But I’ll still pass on them. The goal is for me to be able to take whatever meals are out of my control and make them work for me. And so far I’m 1 for 1.
I’m not budging till my next cheat day, October 16th.
September 29, 2008 at 10:59 am
gah i hate when people put you on the spot for eating healthy. Over the summer I work an internship at a deskjob, a lot of times i am invited to go out to eat with co-workers, and I always order a healthy plate or a grilled entree, I never get fries or anything and the co-workers always put me on the spot saying "your already in shape, enjoy something man" or "cmon man eat, your so skinny" well the fact is I stay in shape by eating healthy, noone should have to eat bad. Then they always hit up the ice cream place afterwards and wonder why I never buy anything, gah I just hate being put on the spot about eating healthy.
September 29, 2008 at 11:08 am
Saying no once is bad, but having to say it over and over and justify yourself (like deciding to get fit and healthy is like joining some weird religeous cult!…) is the worst!
I find inviting people round helps, it puts you more in control of whats being eaten (Dont go too far, the in-laws might not appreciate tinned tuna and protein shakes!…)
September 29, 2008 at 11:57 am
Good for you! You may also just talk with her to the side one day and explain you’re goals and why so that she does understand. If she’s the type who likes to be involved, maybe inquire if she knows of any healthy recipes that she could help you learn to make also, or for those days when you do come over maybe plan for a healthier option for everyone. Not like a good healthy meal is ever going to hurt anyone, you know? In the end you have to be happy with your body and what you’re doing to get it. You’re right, a lot of us have gone through things like this at some point. Might be awkward at first, but soon the results start speaking for themselves when they see the changes in you.
September 29, 2008 at 12:00 pm
The funny thing is, my mother-in-law talks about getting in shape herself. She buys leaner cuts of meat, works out a little here or there, etc. But I still see things like fries and brownies on a constant basis. My brother and father are the same way. So are some friends, ex-athletes even. Last time I visited her, so was my mom. It seems that most of the people in my life want to get fit, but don’t want the drastic lifestyle overhaul I’m committing to. Sometimes I wonder if it’s more insulting that way. "Oh yes, the meal you made is healthier, just not healthy enough for ME."
September 29, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Wow! Not only are you very strong willed, you also write very well! (I could use a bit of both) Great job!
FazerFX
September 29, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Thanks. =) I’m actually a Creative Writing major. Who knew I’d be using it for sports related stuff? It’s great to be able to combine two passions.