SweetNightshade’s BodyBlog

I’m sure anyone in a serious long-term relationship has had issues similar to this.

Every Sunday my fiance and I go to his mother’s house for dinner. She worked in the food industry for several years before becoming an antiques dealer, so her food is good. She also tends to follow the restuaraunt idea of several courses in a meal. Now, it’s usually nothing huge, but salad, entree, and desert.

At one point in my weight loss struggle I had joined a diet plan that was very expensive and extremely restrictive. Extremely. So I bit the bullet and told her that I’d have to start bringing my own meals every Sunday. Turning down a family meal is often seen as such a huge insult to the cook that I was naturally concerned. She reacted well for the most part, thankfully.

Now, I know I can go back to doing this if I absolutely have to. But I’ve been trying to really make that jump from miserable dieter to happy lifestyler. So I figured I’d just head over and see how it went. She had made buttered corn, chop-steak, french fries, and texas toast. I ditched the worst of the carbs, but did have a decent serving of corn and even grabbed a pickle. Tossed a little mustard next to the steak and was done. She and her husband both gave a "No fries?", but I simply said "No thank you" as sweetly as I could and no one argued it. Phew. Of course, after dinner came desert. A tray full of giant oatmeal-raisin cookies. The spot in front of me just happened to be the most accessible, so they sat the entire tray right under my nose.

I didn’t take any. Not one. Just another kindly "No thank you". I had already told myself in advance that desert is not on-plan. And you know what? I didn’t die. I didn’t spend the next 30 minutes staring at the cookies, thinking how unfair it is that I can’t have one. In fact, I talked more than I usually do because I wasn’t focused on the food. It was freeing.

We’ll see how it goes the next few weeks. Fresh brownies pop-up pretty often. And they might be a smidge harder to blissfully ignore. But I’ll still pass on them. The goal is for me to be able to take whatever meals are out of my control and make them work for me. And so far I’m 1 for 1.

I’m not budging till my next cheat day, October 16th.

Every Saturday night I play Dungeons and Dragons with several friends. The standard gamer fare is provided: pizza, chips, soda. Two things have happened with this in the past. First, I’ve associated hanging out with food, and manage to get the munchies more often when I’m with these people. Second, I’ve often fallen into the mindset of ‘well if everyone else is cheating tonight…’

I cannot afford to have a greasy cheat night every week. The games are held at my house and I have a very regimented eating schedule now, so the choice was obvious. After everyone grabbed their pizza, I broke out some healthy leftovers from the week and heated them up on the stove.

But a curious thing happened. As I was breaking out the goods, one of my friends spoke up.

"Oh, are you dieting again?"

Smiling and without missing a beat I tell her, "No, not really. I’m just eating healthier. It’s more of a lifestyle thing."

"No, I’m pretty sure you’re dieting. That’s sad."

Now, this was one of the strangest encounters I’ve had during my journey to get healthy. Sure, I’ve heard people give excuses as to why they’re off track. Or I’ve heard joking exchanges about eating ‘hippy food’. But I’ve never had anyone outright condemn my healthiness as a tragedy.

Almost simultaneously, two of my other friends and I all reply, "No, really, it’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle."

These are friends who aren’t exactly gung-ho about health themselves, but they support my decisions nonetheless. It was nice to know I had backup, especially after what came next.

I explained, "Yeah, I have to fuel myself right, really focus on proteins and what-not since I’m getting into bodybuilding."

My skeptic friend stared at me in what almost looked like repulsion, "You? Bodybuilding? Really? I don’t know, I’m not sure how I feel about that."

I could tell what she was thinking, or so I thought, "No no, I’m not trying to bulk up like crazy. I don’t want to look like the female version of Ah-nold; that’s just not my thing. I’m just not satisfied simply being at a healthy weight. I want to be fit and toned. I want my body to be shaped the way I want it to be."

But it didn’t matter that I wasn’t aiming for she-hulk, "I still don’t know… Diets are still sad."
No amount of confused inqueries could get her to explain why she thought that way. And later, my little brother popped a 100 calorie popcorn bag instead of grabbing chips like everyone else. Again she pipes up.

"Awwe, it’s so sad and little."

I’m really kind of befuddled at this point, "No, it’s just a single serving size. Why do you seem to have such a problem with eating healthy? Why do you think it’s so sad?"

Some mumbled excuses and then, "Besides, it’s not shareable size."

Now, this friend isn’t fat or anything, but I think she really personifies the "American Way" of eating. If someone else is eating, you have to be eating. I can’t count how many times she’s brought a bag of candy as a birthday present for someone. For people like her, food is not fuel, but a social tool. Or, in my mother’s case, good food is a way of showing affection.

I admit that I enjoy a well-cooked meal. I love trying new and exotic foods (lamb’s tongue for example!) I also have several wonderful cooks in my extended family. Recipes get handed down and food is always present at social occasions. I can still enjoy these things as a healthy person, but priorities need to be shifted. Recipes can be reworked to be healthier. Cheat days are scheduled, but used in moderation. I can still enjoy the gourmet qualities of food, but it doesn’t have to be my central focus. I understand now why fancy restaurants serve amazing food in such tiny portions. Sometimes a little taste is all you need to experience cuisine.

But most Americans don’t see it that way. And really, maybe being genetically disposed to a lighter weight isn’t always a gift. Even though my friend isn’t fat because of her views on food, I can bet you that her arteries aren’t as clean as mine. Besides, you know what? My "diet" food was pretty damn tasty last night. And it sure looked a lot better than greasy pizza and cinnamon sticks.

So, the plan I’ve been following for the past few weeks isn’t anywhere near as complex as some of the hardcore members, but it’s been working for me so far.

I get up at 6am to workout. Morning workouts are the only ones I can be consistant with, and I’ve actually become a big fan. I don’t have the money for a gym membership so I do what I can at home. First off I do strength training. I use Exercise TV on Demand to find a good 20-30 minute routine and switch it up every couple weeks. No matter which program I choose, it generally consists of dumbell work, pilates moves, and general resistance training (lunges, abs, etc.) Then I hop on the stationary bike and slam it out for 30 minutes. If I can see well-formed drops of sweat once I’m done, I know I did well.

I have my first meal after that, a protein shake (200 calories). Then I eat a 100-300 calorie meal/snack every 3 hours after that. Snacks consist of either raw almonds, low-cal protein drinks, or low-sugar protein bars. Lunches are generally Weight Watchers frozen meals (easy to heat up at school) or a larger protein bar if I’m squeezed for time. I have to cook dinner for an entire family, so those are my weak spots. Regardless, I try to keep them fairly low-cal, focusing on lean protein, veggies, and just a smidge of healthy carbs.

Cheat days are planned in advance. My next one is October 16th (my 6 year anniversary with my fiance). I’m going to try to start keeping a bar with me at all times in case I get caught-up in spontaneous plans. If a bar isn’t available, it’s salads all the way. Just because friends want to eat out doesn’t mean I should go off plan. (This has happened a LOT in the past. I hang out with a very food-sociable group of people.)

I’ll be posting  my "starting" pictures of 145lbs. soon, even though I’m a little nervous. Of course, I’m no where near my highest weight anymore. My peak was 198 lbs. in middle school - it’s amazing what medications will do to a kid during puberty. But 125 lbs. by New Years doesn’t seem too far-fetched at this point, and being part of a challenge group should help.

Wish me luck!

I cheated today. Today is my designated rest day.

But I felt weird not working out! So I cheated and worked out anyways!

I’m feeling pretty awesome about now. I’ve been getting up at 6am every morning to pump out strength training and intense cardio before commuting to school. And once I’m on campus, I walk every chance I can get. I don’t use the elevators. Every chance to squeeze in a little more cardio.

I also met a local bodybuilder yesterday. In the Walmart protien supplement aisle of all places. We chatted for a while and he gave me a few pointers. I’ve been doing a lot right, but I’m even more effective now. People in this lifestyle have all been so nice and sharing with me.

I’m diggin’ it. =)