Random thoughts

Its weird how one comment can affect someone and others just pass us by.  Today I witnessed something that opened up one of my fat scars.  I don’t think I will ever forget how much this one hurt.  When I was 16/17 I didn’t do any exercise except walking to the mall and dancing my ass off when I was drinking and my diet consisted of anything that contained saturated fats and alcohol.  I’m short so any extra weight on me makes me look chubby really easily.  When I was that age I had skinny fat arms and legs, massive boobs (they were 2 sizes up from what they are now) and a little bit of a pot belly from my bad lifestyle.  Anyway I remember being 17 and going out for dinner with my best friend one night to eat anything and everything we wanted.  After dinner we did some late night shopping and while carrying our bags this guy ran up to me saying "OH MY GOD put those bags down now, let me carry them for you" I was really confused and was asking what? why? and he stared back at me like he was dead serious and replied ‘’A pregnant woman shouldn’t be allowed to carry bags like this".  It felt like everyone was staring at me.  To this day I don’t know if it was a cruel joke or he actually thought I was pregnant.  I didn’t say a word but my friend told him where to go.  My friend tried to convince me that I was hot and he was just an ******* making a joke.  As much as these fat scars hurt, they remind me where I come from and why I will never go back to a lifestyle like that. When will people understand that words can cut as sharply as any blade, and that those cuts leave scars upon us.

So I’ve never blogged before but I’m sitting here on my laptop while my boyfriend is bragging about some new remote control mobile phone looking thing.  He is so bloody happy with himself because he worked out how to link almost everything in our house to this contraption, tv, internet, music, surround sound and just about anything that you can change a setting on (think of him as one of the nerds off big bang theory but better looking).  So from this thing he can control all the settings in our house without even getting up off the couch, the toilet, bed, where ever.  I was just like ‘what the…’ sure maybe I should have been born in the 60’s instead of 80’s but I can’t understand why a healthy person would ever need to use this.  Sure technology is amazing but the more it advances the less we do as human beings.  Its any wonder Australia is one of the most obese countries in the world when were obsessed with making everything a convenience.  My better half doesn’t look like a fat slob or anything but mentally he should weigh 500 pounds as his ideal day after work would be to come home strip, sit on the couch, order take out and have it delivered while he sat there controlling his surroundings from this new contraption all night then falling asleep on the couch.  Oh my, I’m already laughing my ass off about going hiking with him for a week with no technology and only emergency comms with the world.  Ah yes if technology keeps advancing as fast as it is I’m scared about the way the human race will end up in 5, 10 or 20 years? ick.. i’m going to be one of those old farts that has no idea.