Oops, Did I Say That Out Loud?

That show … I went ahead and did it. The prep was excruciating as expected, but I enjoy that stuff. I took first place in the women’s novice and 2nd in the open lightweight. I had so much fun it was unbelievable … some pretty funny mishaps during prep though … had no idea the effects of taking water and carbs out of your system would have on brain function, LoL.

So, I’m done with the show, back from my TDY (THANK GOD … I hated everything about that place, even the gym) … and apparently my deployment schedule has been pushed way the hell forward. Let’s just say I won’t be unpacking from my TDY.

That said, anyone with experience or specific knowledge in any of the following, please drop a comment or PM me:

* Bulking diets (fav articles, books, diets) w/ minimal fat gain (who likes fatties?)

* Competitions in the Northeast OR military competitions (I know … after the deployment …)

Well, originally my schedule wasn’t going to let me do that local show in March. However, that Saturday was suddenly freed up, and I burned rubber over to the promoter. He signed me up for a free posing class and asked about my workout. After sizing me up, he told me to hit the Novice level and the Open. Okay, I don’t know about the Open, but I’ll definitely give the Novice level a shot.

Wicked excited.

Well, I was electronically scolded by BB.com for neglecting to update this publication, so I’ll repent and toss up some updates.

I decided to split my back routine into 2 days - one for thickness (mostly rows) and one for width (pulldowns/ups). I was doing way too many working sets on ‘back day’ and this seemed like a good solution. I paired the ‘lat’ day with biceps, since so many exercises in that ROM recruit biceps anyway, and the upper/middle back day with shoulders since the rear delts are recruited more in those exercises than in most shoulder moves alone. This re-pairing means I’m now on a 5-day split instead of a 6-day. We’ll see how it goes. I just finished my first week of this experiment, so I can’t make any informed judgements just yet.

In other news, after some harrassment, I finally went to talk to that guy about the show in March. He sounded very optimistic about my performance in the novice category, gave me a pre-contest diet, and told me to come back in 4 weeks. What was more exciting was the swarm of older women (past competitors) that surrounded me and poured on advice, encouragement, and the like - all of which I was thrilled to receive. One woman offered to do my music for free if I decide to do the show. I got a chorus of "Look at you!" and "You HAVE to do it!" and "You’ll have so much fun!"

Perhaps the most encouraging thing was browsing the past novice pictures … 2 girls literally had lower abdomen "pooch" … that made me feel better. I know it’s a little local show, but my main goal … if I enter … would be just not to embarrass myself (which is always a distinct possibility!). I’ll make that decision in 4 weeks.
I upped my cardio to "two-a-day’s" … which may or may not last after a week or so.

The diet? Pretty straight-foward, bland, and boring. I love it. Having strict control of my food intake is comforting, and because I didn’t devise this plan myself, I don’t feel guilty about any of the items on it. Maybe that’s a story for another day…

Last but not least, 2 days ago I made a breakthrough … I finally saw a distinct shadow separating my glutes and quads. I reeled with excitement just before realizing I had no one to share this news with that wouldn’t give me a strange look. Except maybe readers on bb.com…

So to follow up on that last post …

Every time I saw this guy in the gym since then (which has been every day …) he’s asked me if I’ve gone to talk to that guy about the show, and of course I hadn’t.

So yesterday I swallowed my pride and ventured down there. The gym walls were covered in pictures of past contests - the women there were so motivating. The guy I was supposed to see wasn’t there, but the woman at the desk was very helpful. I asked her if she had any info about the show, and she looked at me and said, "You’re interested in competing, right?"

I didn’t really know what to say. So I asked her the truth … if she thought I’d be way out of my league. She told me no way for the novice level … and showed me pictures of past competitors in the novice female weight classes. She asked to see my arms and midsection and insisted I come back for a free consultation with the promoter … as soon as I get back from leave.

At this point I thought, why not? What’s the worst that could happen? So I booked the free appointment. I figured these people aren’t getting anything out of it and have no reason to blow smoke up my ass. I’ll go back on the 4th and talk to this guy … and decide then. I just don’t want to make an idiot out of myself.

Okay, it’s my second day at this post for TDY until late April and yesterday was my first day at the gym. I could complain about the post gym … but I can work with it.

Today, before reporting in, I decided to head over and do my back workout … what they don’t know can’t hurt them. I was feeling really down on myself since most of  my lifts have gone down since that bullshit course at Benning. About half-way through my workout, this 63 year-old Asian guy that looks like he just stepped off a bb stage approaches me.

He told me he was really impressed with the weight I was pulling asked me how long I’d been lifting, and I told him a year as of last month. Then he asked me if I’d ever done a show. I laughed … yeah right … me?! Maybe in a few years …

He was totally adamant that I go talk to this guy downtown about a show they hold at a local gym in the spring. He gave me the name of the place and the guy that sponsors it, and swore up and down that I would place. He also said the guy offers free diet and training advice to people who sign up for the show. It’s called the copper something …

I don’t know … I doubt I’m anywhere near ready to do a show in the shape I’m in. I can barely see my six-pack anymore … but it was a very nice ego boost nevertheless.

I’m dropping off this post before I check out of my second “Quality” motel in just as many days. The Army was kind enough to cut me driving travel orders from Georgia to Arizona, and thus I’m on a bit of a time crunch and have packed my nomadic life back into the little truck and hit the highway yet again.

I had a great shoulder workout before I left … yesterday. Don’t know what I’ll be able to find for a gym today; I may wind up improvising in my next lovely motel room. Honestly, I was thrilled to see a bathtub for the first time in 7 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, shower stalls are great and all, but it was nice to have a little space.

On a depressing note, after a 10mile ruck march (on pavement … morons) … I was thrilled to wake up to what I thought was minor shin pain. All I asked for was some motrin! The doc was adamant on running x-rays, which I suppose I’m happy about, since it turned out that I developed stress fractures in both shins. When I told her that I was done with the course, she decided not to schedule a follow-up, since they’d detain me as a med-hold and it’d turn into ‘The Shins that Stole Christmas.’ Don’t get me wrong, GA is nice and all, but I have ZERO desire to spend Christmas at the Home of the Infantry. In the end, the doc told me just to go easy on them until I absolutely had to.

No running? No problem! As for my poor Leg Day, I’ve decided to cut my normal weight in half, do a few more reps, and move on from there. Same on deadlifts. I also might add some L-Glutamine to my shake list. Also need to find some lower-joint-impacting cardio in the meantime. Suggestions welcome.

Alright, time to hit the road.

And here we go again.

One would assume that working for an organization that has physical requirements as part of the job description would naturally breed physical fitness. Wrong! While on TDY (in this case, at a course) it is impossible to figure out the exact values of what you are eating, and your schedule often lets you out after closing hours of the nearest gym. In addition, the "physical training" here does jack squat for me personally, except make my joints a little sore.

Field exercises are possibly the worst. It screws your sleep schedule, it screws your diet, and derails your entire system. Are you burning calories? Sure, sure. But that’s about all you’re doing, and that’s not quite enough for me. Again, I’m starting up old bad habits regarding food since I started this course, but I’m hoping that once I’m done (which is next week) I’ll be able to get back to my normal everyday workout schedule and better mental state.

I know my carb intake is too high and my protein is too low. I can practically see what little muscle I’ve put on disappearing before my eyes. Sorry, but walking around with heavy stuff on my back isn’t quite my idea of a good workout. It’s more like a good route to back injury. Don’t get me wrong. I love the Army. I love my job. But this small part of it drives me absolutely INSANE.

Okay, that was a huge rant. I feel better now.

That’s right …

It’s that realization that, "Oh gee, I haven’t been running in almost 4 months (don’t tell), and now I’m probably slow as hell!"

Personally, I don’t give a damn about running, since I think it’s one of the worst activities for joint health, and there are plenty of other ways to remain cardiovascular-ly adequate. Unfortunately, my … er … boss … doesn’t agree, and places far too much importance on one’s ability to run 2 miles.

Well, fine! Also unfortunately, running is one of those things that you can only improve upon by doing more of. Frankly, I haven’t … at all. Of course, I work my ass off every damn day in the gym … but that doesn’t do jack for my "run time."

So, I have a week and a few days to panic … that is … run my ass off in hopes of getting my time somewhere down near where it used to be. I’m highly doubtful I’ll get another sub-13, but here’s hoping I even get in the 13’s!

Excuse me … I hafta get running …

… my leg muscles into separate days!

Yep, there’s a new split in town, and I’m separating my Quads from my Glutes/Hams (prays for more quad separation).

This is my new plan … for now …

Biceps + Quads
Back
Glutes + Hams
Shoulders
Chest + Tri

I work forearms w/ biceps and traps w/shoulders.

I alternate working calves & abs … but trying to figure out something to shock my calves into, well - getting BIGGER.

I’m always happy to give people a few laughs at my expense, but today, I had a ROFL-fest at the middle-aged guy that collared his weights …. on the smith machine.

Hey, I’m all about Safety First … but that was just funny. And no, I didn’t say anything. He’s not gonna hurt himself, so who am I to butt in?

Someone’s gotta be “that guy” every day. (Glad it wasn’t my turn this time!)