Sparklinpunk379’s BodyBlog

About a year ago, i accepted a challenge well known to most people that are a part of my life: to compete in a bodybuilding contest for the first time ever.  My year so far has involved daring.  The very idea of putting my body on display for others to see once seemed preposterous for me, who would rather not be in front of a camera, let alone an entire audience in little more than a swimsuit.  Rather than laughing at the idea, I found myself accepting of the experiment, not because i longed to perform, but because i wanted to be something that i wasnt- self assured.  I knew women who seemed to have it all, never worrying if they were wearing the right clothes or saying the right thing, but I cudnt identify w them; i only admired them from afar.  Walking into a room seemed like torture for me in most cases.  I did not enter into a room, so much as slide into one, working hard not to get noticed.  So far, i have taken a bite out of the contest dare because i wanted to discover what those other women had and i wanted an awakening!  Where did they get such poise? such posture? and such fearlessness? 

 Becoming your best self n loving urself breeds confidence- u need to know who u r and b comfortable with that.  Pitting myself against weights has helped me discover whole chunks of me that had become lost.  Discovering that i am strong n can lift heavier n heavier weights has taught me about my own abilities to be disciplined, committed, and focus.  No gym is ever a place for punishment.  Rather, it is a source of empowerment if you let urself believe it.  The stronger I get, the more courageous i become and the more confident I feel.  Getting ‘there’ requires that you do the homework and be involved in the process of gettin to know what makes u ur best- becoming ur best needs training n only the best nutrition.  When it comes to training, i know how hard i have to push myself now in order to see results.  This process of getting to know me as I am has given birth to confidence, something that i previously had in short supply. 

 I also know that becoming confident means having to face our fears.  Gaining confidence can be a messy business because u have to sweat, cry, fall, and get back up again.  Anyone who has struggled to transform themselves has made mistakes, faultered, and even lost ground.  I had to learn to leave my ego at the door n make myself vulnerable.  I cant do this alone.  With confidence in abundant supply, u can tackle life with purpose.  Secure in the knowledge that u have done ur homework, struggled n won over food addictions, overcome laziness and lack of focus and have now arrived at a new place in ur life where u r happy to be, u r ready for the next step - empowerment!  That newly found sense of purpose drives you to feel mobilized to undertake tests that you may have never considered before- like competing in a bodybuilding competition!  Confidence does not come from a big voice that runs on n on, filling an entire room.  Instead of being about dramatics, confidence is about being certain of your intentions- make a stand for what you believe in and commit to those intentions calmly and purposefully. 

I have found my purpose…so what is yours?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 at 9:54 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.