Sirenkiss78’s BodyBlog

I finally had my bf taken today its been quite some time since I last had it done, due to the simple fact I was crushed when I herd how fat I actually still was!! December 07 I was a "healthy" 33% YUCK you’re excused to go vomit now! 10 months later heres September and Im at 21% not heartbreaking but I’m still not happy at all!! I absolutely positively without a doubt have to cut 10%bf by December!! This is no joke. I realize it took me 10months just to lose 12% and here I’m saying I need to do the same damage in 3months. At this point I don’t care how I get there, if 5hrs of cardio a day is required so be it I will do it. or if you have an alternate method please enlighten me! I don’t have patience anymore with this body and it needs to do as its told from this point on! While I should be happy with my progress I am not and will not stop until (as Katy says) perfection is attained!!

This week was wk one of cutting. My goal is to actually lose 20lbs by july 15th. The only carbs I am taking in are what I get from my plain oatmeal and from my protein drinks. I love my carbs I cant lie. I miss the wheat thins and sandwiches etc etc and my poor kids I nanny probably wish I would sneek some in so Im not a kranky witch. But I have faith that the first week is the hardest and after that the diet becomes a natural habit.  I plan to compete in my first Figure competiton in January so any advice is greatly welcome from ladies who have competed or men who are trainers for such. This week I just stuck to 45minutes of high interval/intense cardio and killed it doing abs everyday and lost 4lbs.  Its amazing what eating clean does for one!!

I recently took a trip to Kansas to visit a friend. A male friend whom I ended up staying with all 6 days I was there. I don’t know at what point it happened but I managed to fall for this guy. I totally thought we would just stay friends, as we had been the last 3yrs and I could go back home easily. But, I’ve been absolutely miserable since I’ve been back. Have I talked to him about any of this? No. We haven’t really spoke since I left, little txts here and there, that he now takes forever to respond to… where as before I went out there we talked everyday even if it was just txt or online. I know the right thing to do would be to tell him how I feel, but there’s that what if, factor. He hugged me for a few minutes before he said good-bye and I could hear his heart beating, as if he just ran down the block. He gave me a few kisses and asked me to tell him when I made it home and bolted in his house. That should be enough to tell me how he maybe feels, atleast one would think. In the past we talked about me moving there and working in his family’s restaurant as a kitchen manager (as my education background is Culinary). But I passed that up to continue nannying and now I could give myself a hard swift kick in the ass for it. I would give anything to still be there, I didnt want to leave. But I have no idea how he feels. I guess I figure if he felt remotely the same things wouldnt be so awkward, am I wrong? I asked him Wednesday night if he missed me yet and his reply was "of corse", is it wrong of me to expect more of an answer? I dont know what to do. I’ve never felt like this and I feel like I’ve set my hopes and expectations too high and am setting myself up for major heartache. Guys, Girls, I need some raw heart to heart here. What’s a girl to do?

I am offically grounded from the scale for two weeks, TWO WEEKS!! I know it shouldnt be my friend But we’ve become close buddies over the last couple of weeks, ARGH, I’ll miss you scale!! However I am willing to take a time out from the scale and track my progress through measurements. Yesterday was a bad day for me because I’d thought that after 6 workouts in 3 days I had gained weight there for I was pissed the rest of the day, also forgetting to remind myself that I could be gaining muscle too… Well, come to find out this morning it was water retention and I have actually lost a grand total of 8lbs in the last 4days.  I’ve also agreed to limit myself to an hour and fifteen minutes of cardio a day, instead of doing 2.5-3hrs a day plus weight training.  So to get the most of my workout I am doing the stairmaster at intervals of level 8 for two minutes and level 12 for two minutes for 30 minutes twice a day… Its a great ass kicker, I did it lastnight and felt great after. So for those of you who have a weightloss goal this year stick to it, no matter what dont give up, its worth it in the end!!