The Mind Plays Dirty Tricks
Lately when I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself looking like I did when I still had my pregnancy weight on me.
I see a fat ass, chubby tummy, and extra jiggle in my thighs. It’s so weird how gaining a few+ pounds makes such a drastic impression on my perception of myself.
But I still fit into my size 4 clothes.
Now, I had gotten myself down to 13% bodyfat, but I felt and looked like parchment paper. My face looked gaunt even though I thought my body looked fine. I like the healthy, athletic glow, not the bedraggled-mom-of-3-who-gets-no-sleep look.
So I started eating more and went up to about 15-16% BF where I felt I looked my best. But, I tipped the scale too far and now I’m up to 18% BF. So now my goal is to drop down a few percentage points and maintain that. I finally found my happy medium, now it’s time to get to it.
In the meantime, I have to stop looking in the mirror because I see myself looking dumpy and frumpy and it makes me grumpy.
June 28, 2009 at 6:02 am
Interesting post. Its related to the "better-you-do-the-more-critical-you-get" factor. I have a waaaaaaaaaaay better body than I had a couple years ago, (I think), but when I look at it, all I see is what’s wrong with it.
June 28, 2009 at 6:02 am
Interesting post. Its related to the "better-you-do-the-more-critical-you-get" factor. I have a waaaaaaaaaaay better body than I had a couple years ago, (I think), but when I look at it, all I see is what’s wrong with it.
June 28, 2009 at 6:26 am
I feel your pain. As I drop body fat, I feel like the mother of 3 trying to maintain a household and still work a full time job as a RN and still work out 2-3 times a day. But in the end, it is all worth it.
June 28, 2009 at 6:35 am
I still see the jiggle in the mirror too even though its not there. Glad you’ve found your happy medium.
June 28, 2009 at 6:57 am
You dropped some massive body fat this year. I’d LOVE to be at your current 18% (but I do understand how you feel about being frumpy)!!
I’ll be putting you on my inspiration list, Shannon. Nobody works harder than you to achieve their goals. I think I finally "get it" mentally how you are so determined. Luckily I am also now!!
June 28, 2009 at 7:45 am
OK. So now I think you can understand how I feel about me when I look in the mirror. I just don’t see it. I still see the same person I saw 2 years ago and now at a dead stand still.
But at least you have come to a happy place and that’s good. But I don’t see 18% on you. No where close. You sure about that number or is it you "feel" that number?
June 28, 2009 at 7:49 am
That’s why I told you to post pictures so you can rely on our reality for how we think you look
June 28, 2009 at 8:02 am
I am actually going to look for some oler pictures from about 2 years ago today when I finish up a few chores. Then it will just be a matter of being able to take some of me. Since I am not going to the gym today (yesterday was 6 days in a row
see some previous posts) it would be a good time to take some, but not promising anything. I am working on it.
BTW..the pull ups; are they going to be done, well the best I can describe is palms facing me or palms facing away?
June 28, 2009 at 8:03 am
Palms facing away…dead hang.
June 28, 2009 at 8:09 am
Ouch! My weakest type (right now) But hey, what have I got to loose? Besides, I know you will be kicking the shyt out of who all may try, so kick away!
June 28, 2009 at 8:11 am
Just do it to get a baseline time. Then the next time it’s done, you’ll be able to see how far along you’ve come in your workouts. You’re competing against yourself
June 28, 2009 at 8:20 am
Oh I know that. I compete against myself every day, every time I step into the gym. But to know what you have done, what you are going for know, well, it just makes me want to push. Besides, nothing wrong with haveing a woman show a man up, and that’s what will be in the back of my mind while doing this. Not to compete with you, but to show myself that I am at least able to do. (something)
June 28, 2009 at 8:35 am
I have my times listed on my profile page, so you’ll know how to pace yourself to beat me
June 28, 2009 at 6:32 pm
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I don’t enjoy the dieting food-selection, etc., but I do enjoy the flat midsection, no bloat, lean feeling. But I don’t want to look skinny. Now that I’m eating my maintenance cals. (and more some days) I get so scared that I’m going to blow back up before I know it. But like you said, it’s really a mind game and I’m coping better if I convince myself that I’m creating a great anabolic environment and it’s mostly water if I’m getting bigger eating clean. Hang in there!
June 29, 2009 at 6:56 am
Hit the bullseye with this one…again. I disagree with your self criticisms, but that’s pretty typical. Anyone who is driven to do anything is usually harder on themselves than anyone else could ever be.
Every day I don’t eat 100% on my diet plan I start mind f$&king it. Combine the non squeaky clean diet with a sub par workout or no upper body and I talk myslef into feeling ’soft’. My BF is creeping back up and it pisses me off. I can do something about it, but in come the mind games again.
Like BePrecise commented, I too talk myself into different scenarios when the reality is I know I’m screwing the pooch and wasting time.
Maybe I was overworking my body?
Maybe I wasn’t taking in enough calories?
Maybe I really do need to mix beer back into my diet?
What’s wrong with not looking like I could do a Calvin Klien underwear add on a billboard in TImes Square 365 days a year?
New motto for myself, stop thiking and start doing. Yeah, 7/6.
Mind games for sure.
June 29, 2009 at 6:56 am
Shan:
from what I see you look great and very fit. No doubt you will get to your goal very quickly. have a great week.
June 29, 2009 at 7:25 am
I’m impressed that you’ve found "the spot" you want to be at! Good to see you’re using body fat %, since all that lifting work is likely to add some more muscle to the bod!
June 29, 2009 at 4:17 pm
yeah this happens to me too..when I look in the mirror I don’t see what’s really happening with my body…I just bought a size 4 pair of shorts the other day and still think I look like a size 8 when I look in the mirror…but then when I take a progress pic I see what’s really going on!