Here are some lame pick up lines that I’m not sure would garner success….unless you gave a girl a shot of Tequila:
If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!
At the gym, I’ve gotten hit on by two different men on two different occasions using the SAME pick up line. (Or at least I think they hit on me. LOL):
Don’t I know you from somewhere?
And both times I wondered if it was a trick question.
I’ve been going to the gym 6 days a week since December. For the most part, I’ve gone at essentially the same time, wearing the same baseball cap (I still haven’t thrown it out), wearing the same round of ratty gym clothes. I’m consistent if anything. And I see these two guys regularly.
So when these two men, one of whom is Chatty Cathy (the man who wouldn’t stop talking the entire time I was working out a few months ago), asked me that question I had to answer:
"Well, we see each other all the time at the gym."
Chatty Cathy: No. I know you from somewhere. Did you change something about you?
Me: No.
CC: I’m trying to think of where I know you from.
Me: We talked once here, a while ago, so maybe that’s why you think I’m so familiar.
CC: No, I keep looking at you while you work out and for the life of me I can’t figure out where I know you from. I keep coming up with nothing.
Me: You come up with nothing because there is nothing. I only know you from the gym!
———————-
Guy From Last Week: You look familiar. Where do we know each other from?
Me: Here at the gym.
GFLW: No, I know you from somewhere else. God, where do I know you from? Do you run?
Me: No.
GFLW: No? Did you run the Boston Marathon this week? I could’ve sworn I saw you there. I ran in it. You look like someone I saw.
Me: No, I don’t run. I used to, but not anymore.
GFLW: Really? I can’t believe you don’t run.
Me: I did in HS and started up again a few years ago, but wasn’t as crazy about it, so I stopped.
GFLW: Well, once you hit 40 it gets to be a lot harder.
Me (in my head): Did he just say I look 40? F*ck!
Breakfast: 1 whole egg, 3 egg whites
oatmeal
milk
coffee
Snack: cottage cheese (1 serving)
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