Day 10 - Dressing Rooms Are The Portals To Hell
I’d like to have a word with whomever it is that creates dressing rooms for department stores.
Who designs them?
Whose idea is it to make the harsh lighting directly over our heads so that every lump, bump, fold, and wrinkle is highlighted? (Although I have thought that I should take my camera with me to take some good progress pics. Sometimes I flex and see the muscles the way I can’t at home in my nice soft bathroom lighting).
Whose idea is it to install mirrors that make you look shorter and more squat than we really are.
I look so much different and better in other mirrors, so don’t tell me that’s how I really look, haha.
When I enter a dressing room, there are times when I try on clothes only to be distracted by "Uhhhh…when did THAT show up on me?" as I examine my thighs.
So I shoo the distraction away, try on the clothes and I smile (everybody smiles when they try the clothes on…right?)…and then I get distracted by how deep and heavy my "laugh lines" look. They’re not lines anymore….they’ve become major cracks in my face.
The clothes that looked amazing on the mannequin and the way they looked on me in my mind wind up looking terrible.
We women want to look like dewey soft goddesses. Not someone who is in the middle of a meth bender!
Install mirrors that make us look a little taller and thinner. Create soft, lovely pink lighting that will compliment any skin tone and color.
Make us look awesome so that we want to buy MORE clothes!!
It just occured to me that it’s all men who design them. It’s like the blue wall of silence (it’s a myth, I know, I know). They protect each other and create crappy dressing rooms so that wives don’t buy a shitload of clothes.
The loop hole around that is that we wind up buying clothes that we don’t even try on because we don’t want to go in the dressing rooms. So there’s no saving each other, men. Make us look good! Dammit.
I put up progress pics just so ya’ll know. I used overhead lighting to get the best detail, haha.
Breakfast: 2 whole eggs, 4 egg whites
whole wheat toast
coffee w/ milk
Snack: apple
Lunch: Pineapple and chicken unfried rice
vegetable broth
tea
Snack: Protein shake
romaine salad
Dinner: Chicken
peas
October 29, 2008 at 5:51 am
You slay me. new progress pics are great
October 29, 2008 at 5:55 am
you think that’s bad!! what about the lights right over the bar? some of the girls i have to serve really should not stand directly in the light. i should get hazard pay for having to look at them!!!
October 29, 2008 at 5:58 am
Compare your July pics to now. DEFINITELY getting some results! The back double bicep is very nice - lotsa good things happening! Its working - keep it up!
October 29, 2008 at 6:00 am
*checks pics again*
What…NO SPOON????
October 29, 2008 at 6:23 am
Damn. We look bad in bars too? I thought we looked good. Thanks for the heads up on that. That’s sobering news (hehe).
I keep forgetting about the spoons!!
Thanks, Irish. Are you eating clean yet??
October 29, 2008 at 6:37 am
Yeah, but at 2am those bar light might as well be stage lighting at the Olympia….
October 29, 2008 at 7:43 am
I can totally see a difference in your back. You have been working hard.
October 29, 2008 at 7:51 am
You have an awesome way of telling a story my friend. For the record I hate dressing rooms too. Especially the ones with no ceiling. I always get the feeling that somebody is out there somewhere staring down at me laughing
October 29, 2008 at 9:13 am
Um… I think I will pass on the lovely pink light. Does nothing for me. And I am still working on not jumping in fear when i see myself in a mirror. We all can’t be HOT like you. WOOHOO!!! Hot stuff!
October 29, 2008 at 9:42 am
Seriously the progress pics are amazing.
October 29, 2008 at 10:13 am
No, every girl looks good in a bar, some just take a bit longer to brighten up (ha ha - I kill myself)
I hate to tell you, but the mirrors in the dressing rooms are the REAL mirrors, and the ones at home are designed to make you look good. (ha ha )
October 29, 2008 at 10:18 am
No. Don’t tell me that janthony. That is cruel.
October 29, 2008 at 10:22 am
Dressing rooms? Hell I just wear whatever my Wife brings home for me…lol Going to oggle and google over the pics…keep on keepin!
Real Men Have Mass!
October 29, 2008 at 1:18 pm
You freaking crack me up. Reading your blogs is like reading a newspaper column only a whole lot funnier. You had to have been a journalist in a former life. Keep them coming, it makes my day!
October 29, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Those lights have to be a bit harsh, otherwise the cameras on the other side of the mirror, would pick up a crappy image.
Its not easy being a perv but someone has to doit!
October 29, 2008 at 3:48 pm
We guys just can’t win. Even if the lighting was ideal, we still get hit with this sort of scenario: http://www.applegeeks.com/lite/strips/aglite352.jpg
October 29, 2008 at 7:19 pm
I never look in the mirror at the store until I am FULLY clothed. I hate that in between part!