Is it me or do spouses sabatoge your fitness goals at times?
I am just wondering if others have experienced this? If so in what capacity because I just don’t understand thier thinking. Or maybe it’s just me? Thanks for all of your time and keep up with your fitness goals.
June 18, 2009 at 6:49 am
My wife is a great one for filling the plate to capacity. I used to ask her not to put so much on and she would get mad, so I ate it. Then I realized just accept it appreciatively only eat what you want and put the rest away. Say nothing but thank you. That’s my story! Like everyone we all have to be our own counsel and no one can make us do or not do anything unless we allow it. Hey good luck.
June 18, 2009 at 6:49 am
Well, I’m not marrieds but am in a serious relationship and I can tell you that it is harder to eat clean as much as you might if you are single. The going out to dinner, cooking for 2, late nights in/out. . . etc. This all adds up to you cheating slightly more often than you normally would.
June 18, 2009 at 6:55 am
Anything social activity that shifts the focus of attention away from your wife is likely going to upset her because she (like most women) prefers that your attention be focused on her…most wives live in a perpetual state of fear that their husbands will meet someone else…so while you’re at the gym building your body, she’s sitting at home worried that you’re at the gym schmoozing some shallow silicone barbie girl…thus, your passion for fitness must take a backseat to her emotional well-being…you have to accept the fact that being married means that your wife will prevent your accessing other women…now, you can lie and say that when you’re at the gym, you don’t look at women because your wife is the most beautiful woman…or, you can invite your wife to work out with you…(which you probably don’t want to do, right? It’s nice to get away from the wife, after all!)…anyway, good luck. Your post reminds me why I will never marry. I refuse to allow anything or anyone to sabotage my life’s passions.
June 18, 2009 at 6:59 am
Have you tried getting her involved in her own fitness program?? My roommate started following the same workout/eating plan as me (with more calories for him, obviously) and it has made our relationship even better.
Nulevel, I don’t think you can say it’s just the women. My last boyfriend didn’t understand my desire to better myself at all…he preferred to bitch and complain everytime I went to the gym. It’s not everyone, it’s just certain people who can’t be supportive of others.
June 18, 2009 at 7:02 am
I’ve had problems with this myself. When your spouse doesn’t have the same goals as you they tend to take different paths and expect (drag?) you go go down the same road.
June 18, 2009 at 7:15 am
LOL…..check my blog post this morning (in comment section). I wouldn’t say exactly that my wife is sabatoging my efforts, but she’s certainly questioning my goals. Certainly requires ya to maintain a laserbeam focus.
June 18, 2009 at 7:58 am
Janelle:
Don’t take my comments personally…it’s not me speaking…it’s biology speaking…nothing against women. While there are always exceptions to the rule, you can’t argue against biology. (Most) women get jealous when their men spend time away from them…it’s just the nature of the beast…no pun intended…besides, if a woman doesn’t share in her man’s passion for fitness, why would she encourage him to maximize his appearance? What has she to gain from his looking lean and muscular? Nothing at all! In fact, she has everything to LOSE from her man looking good…because she worries that he’ll meet someone better looking…and, in case you’re unaware, many men cheat on their women…50% of marraiges end in divorce…don’t get upset! If you disagree with me, then take your argument to god…or to mother nature, etc.
Now, in your BF’s case…yes, there are men who get jealous…but those types of men are insecure because they have only one woman to focus on…which, for a man, is actually NOT in his nature and is NOT good because having only one woman to focus on makes him more desparate and insecure. It goes against his nature! Men want to fvuck as many women as possible…biology…If your BF had other women to pursue, he wouldn’t have likely bitched and complained so much.
June 18, 2009 at 8:00 am
All,
I appreciate your responses. The wife is one of those women who just likes to run endless miles. It’s not my style and counter productive to what I am trying to accomplish. At the same time I am a personal trainer and she always asks if I am training a woman, how does she look, does she like me, blah blah blah! UGH!!!!! It’s just endless, but she doesn’t complain when the money comes in. Dieting is not the issue because we eat healthy anyway.
June 18, 2009 at 8:08 am
Slam, is there any way you can get her to start lifting? It increases the confidence level, lowers the jealousy bull****…
Plus, she’ll get to see firsthand what your job entails, and realize it’s not all ass-grabbing and nekkid sauna time!
June 18, 2009 at 8:11 am
Slam…as long as you keep bringing the money in, you’ll be allright with her…I hope that your marraige lasts…I admire any man who can put up with a woman’s constant bitching, jealousies, etc. And, unfortunately, the law of the land states that she’ll get half of your pre-tax dollars if you divorce her…AND she’ll continue earning whatever money she makes from her salary! So, for her, marraige is a great arrangement because she has nothing to lose…unlike the man.
June 18, 2009 at 11:00 am
All i can say to ya…is that maybe sit down and really get things out on the table…ask what is it that she is actually fearing or worrying about…and take turns talking about it.
My Ex-wife at first loved that fact that i was working out. But as i got in better shape, her love for it started to turn because of comments her friends were making about how i looked. It eventually got to where i had to hide my working out, and that only lasted so long before i actually ended up stopping my time in the gym.
So the biggest thing is to talk it out and just re-assure her that she doesnt have to worry…sometimes it will work and it might not, but at least you can know that you are giving your best effort to comfort her.
June 18, 2009 at 11:12 am
nicely said drumj