Why Is It Not The Same In Person?
Why Don’t We Motivate, Support, and Compliment Each Other In The Gym The Same Way We Do On BodySpace?
The motivation from BodySpace members is phenomenal! It has given me the drive to get in the best shape of my life! I’m thankful for what I sort of stumbled into on here, but I’m also puzzled by why we don’t give the same credibility and support to guys at the gym?
I’m really lucky to know several of my BodySpace friends personally. But, I’ve only been on here about 3 months and have literally gotten over a thousand encouraging comments from people I’ve never even met. On the other hand, I’ve been a member of a gym for over 12 years. I see the same people frequently but with only a few exceptions, we don’t pat each other on the back. We talk, we are friendly, but we just don’t say - DAMN, NICE WORK MAN! or WOW, YOUR ARMS ARE LOOKING PHENOMENAL! like we do on here. We don’t motivate and push each other, unless perhaps it comes from a training partner.
It seems like an opportunity missed!
I’m fairly shy and rarely speak first, but once I get to know someone, its hard to shut me up! I find myself wanting to compliment other people in the gym, but because it is not the “common” thing to do, I usually don’t. I guess I think they will view me as some kind of weirdo!
Do you find the same to be true where you train? Do you have any ideas as to why we DON’T do the one thing we could to help each other be our personal best?
Regardless of the reasons, I’m very thankful we are secure enough to talk to each other on here! It certainly has made a HUGE difference in my training and in the way I look and feel! ~Ray
July 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm
HI Ray! It is safer to compliment from behind the barrier of a computer because there is no threat involved in my opinion. I can tell people how fabulous they appear on here and vice versa without any qurstion of ulterior motive or come on from either sex. It is easier to be transparent in cyberspace as well. If someone doesn’t like what you say, they worse they can do is flame you.
July 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm
i have worked uot in the same gym for the last 2 .5 years with barley more than a nod from anyone. so one day about two months ago i just started complimenting people. the reaction is unreal. like you, once people started talking they would not shut up. i have found that people realy respond to positve comments. it is fun to watch them come out of their shell. even funner is watching myself come out of mine.
July 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I see alot of what your talking about. I can say that i have been blessed to have people in my gym compliment me alot and i have been there going on 2 years now. i have had a few women, random chicks just tell me, woooow you look great! alot of times, i think that people are insecure or intimidated by you! Atleast w/ women thats the way it is. if i see someone who looks smoking-i will compliment! i feel like its totally due! Perfect example, we had this chick who was into bodybuilding, i mean she would bust her butt, a bit built for me, but AT THE END OF THE DAY SHE LOOKED AMAZING! I ADMIRED HER DEDICATION AND SELF DISCIPLINE! she was a total sweetheart and she told me, when are you going to get your @$$ on a stage. lol. i am a people builder! alot of the guys compliment me though and they compliment me on my form and intensity, because i’m usually the only girl over by the free weights w/ the boys! they do NOT scare me w/ their loud grunts! They are nothing more then baby chimps who look like gorilla’s. if i rub their belly, i’m sure they to will giggle! lol! but i do agree w/ you hun!
July 11, 2008 at 2:39 pm
How many forum comments do you see on here followed by "no homo?" It’s like when guys compliment each other, they have to say, oh yeah, I don’t want to have sex with you, just giving a comment!
I’m totally comfortable enough with my sexuality that I don’t have to say ‘no homo’ when I tell a guy he looks good! And I love it when others notice me and actually say something instead of just staring!
A lot of guys in the gym look the same today that they looked 2 years ago. But, there are those who change and get better — those are the ones you should pat on the back.
Everyone should take a tip from you and be a little more free with giving praise to those who obviously deserve it.
Thanks, Perry
July 13, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Ray, that’s an interesting question. Although, I do not know the answer, but I know if you sow you reap. I compliment this guy at the gym on how good his physique is and that he got great calves, and we’ve been friend since. I also found out that he used to compete, and that help me tremendously, how? He gives me tips and advises so that I can avoid those mistakes.
I can’t wait for people to compliment me, I just give sincere compliments if I think they look great
July 13, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I think the internet, e-mails, text messages are great, but they have also hindered out social skills. It’s so easy to hide behind a screen then it is to be in public. Even though you can express your emotions and thoughts in blogs, texts or e-mails it also creates this social block within yourself. It’s always easier to spell it out on paper then it is to actually say it to someone’s face.Remember being a kid/teenager and instead of telling that cute girl your liked her, you sent her a note instead?Why? Because it was esier if there was going to be rejection.Heck, I bet a lot of people who have come to bodyspace roam this place for a month or more before they start opening up. I know cause I was one of them.I don’t have an answer except be the first.Be the first to reach out.Maybe it works.Maybe someone gives you that weird look. Who knows unless you try right?
July 13, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Well, I tend to be the consumate cheerleader whether on-line or in person.. If i see a change in someone, I tell them!!! I mean, why not, it makes me feel motivated when i hear it, so why not pass that motivation on. I do agree with Maddi though that sometimes these compliments can be confused as something less than genuine (ie, a come on)…and this can be a bit bothersome… thanks, as always, for sharing, Ray…
July 21, 2008 at 7:00 pm
haha as you might have guessed from my blog entry today, i agree with this completely! its nice to read a compliment from someone online, but it is so completely different to get one or give one in person! building up the courage to speak first and overcome shyness is not an easy thing to do, but a gym is a great place to do it, because you already for sure know SOMETHING you have in common- you both work out! keep up the great work, and thanks for the comments!
July 22, 2008 at 4:45 am
Excellent observation, Ray. I know that I get my best workouts after some positive feedback…more often than not from an online friend. A little "tip of the hat" in the real world would be just as good. I’ll make a point of giving some positive encouragement to someone at the gym today.
And, by the way Ray, damn your arms are looking phenominal. I am sold on Synergy!!