Ray’s BodyBlog

I’ve been very fortunate to receive a lot of nice compliments from other BodySpace members.  Well over half of the comments end with something like “… for your age” or some other reference to age.  I’m always flattered and motivated when I get a compliment, but I wonder why it is apparently so unusual for a guy my age to be in shape?  I see guys on here all the time who are near my age or older, some of them are even competitors!  So, it makes me wonder — Why do guys stop working out?

I also wonder — If I was 38 and in the same shape, would I still get compliments or would I just blend in with the crowd?  I’ve had a broken shoulder, 2 bulging discs in my lumbar spine, and a broken foot and finger, but these were just bumps in the road.

I realize by not starting to lift until I was 45 I got a late start and have a lot of catching up to do, but honestly, short of some physical disability, I see no reason to stop.  Lifting makes me feel good about myself, it keeps me as active as guys 20 years younger than me, it makes it easy to buy and wear clothes and it gives me a lot to look forward to.   Why would I, or anyone else, want to give all that up?  I have no idea?

~Ray

Does It Bother Anybody Else?

Sometimes don’t you wish there was a special place for those BodySpacers who like to repost their progress photos, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. I’ve come to learn there is even a term for this – flipping photos!

When two or 3 guys (or 5 or 10) post their photos over and over and over, it makes it hard to weed through the first couple of pages of “flipped photos” to find the photos that were posted ONE time of a guy who really made some serious progress and should be recognized for it.

I thought BodySpace was for helping and motivating each other to be our personal best. But, what is appears to be for a few is a hotly contested popularity contest which if often NOT won by the person with the best physique or the greatest progress, rather is it won by the person who reposted – flipped – their photos the most or posted the most provocative photos.

It’s interesting to watch someone repost their photos for several days – they make it to the top 6 and they stop flipping photos – then when their numbers start to drop, they start posting the same old profile and progress photos again. I frankly get tired of the seeing the same guys on there all the time. I mean, once you had your shot at it, give someone else a chance! Bow out gracefully, not pathetically. You sure don’t want to ask anybody about it – they get very defensive.

I will encourage, compliment and motivate anyone who has shown some determination to reach a goal or is making progress – I will not, on the other hand, feed your ego. Put the popularity contest somewhere at the bottom of the page and give prominence to those demonstrating real progress.

As always, this is just my opinion and you are welcome to share yours, as well! ~Ray

Why Don’t We Motivate, Support, and Compliment Each Other In The Gym The Same Way We Do On BodySpace?

The motivation from BodySpace members is phenomenal! It has given me the drive to get in the best shape of my life! I’m thankful for what I sort of stumbled into on here, but I’m also puzzled by why we don’t give the same credibility and support to guys at the gym?

I’m really lucky to know several of my BodySpace friends personally. But, I’ve only been on here about 3 months and have literally gotten over a thousand encouraging comments from people I’ve never even met. On the other hand, I’ve been a member of a gym for over 12 years. I see the same people frequently but with only a few exceptions, we don’t pat each other on the back. We talk, we are friendly, but we just don’t say - DAMN, NICE WORK MAN! or WOW, YOUR ARMS ARE LOOKING PHENOMENAL! like we do on here. We don’t motivate and push each other, unless perhaps it comes from a training partner.

It seems like an opportunity missed!

I’m fairly shy and rarely speak first, but once I get to know someone, its hard to shut me up! I find myself wanting to compliment other people in the gym, but because it is not the “common” thing to do, I usually don’t. I guess I think they will view me as some kind of weirdo!

Do you find the same to be true where you train? Do you have any ideas as to why we DON’T do the one thing we could to help each other be our personal best?

Regardless of the reasons, I’m very thankful we are secure enough to talk to each other on here! It certainly has made a HUGE difference in my training and in the way I look and feel!  ~Ray

THE POWER OF POSITIVE PEER PRAISE! or
The Best Kept Secret in Bodybuilding

This is not the first time I’ve written about “The Best Kept Secret In BodyBuilding!”  The first time I was writing about a supplement company I was associated with and the superior service and expertise they offered their customers.  Today, I am writing about BodyBuilding.com in general and specifically BodySpace.  I believe the motivation and support members here give each other is truly the best kept secret in bodybuilding.

I have never been driven to improve the way I have been in the last couple of month since putting a profile on BodySpace.  I’ve made a lot of on-line friends, renewed some friendships with people I knew in the past, and even have met 7 of my new BodySpace friends in person.

The support and motivation I get every day from BodySpace is a side effect of the reason I joined.  I really did not expect it.  But, I have been pleasantly surprised by how accepting 98% of the BodySpacers are of everyone, no matter what level you are at.  The big guys support the small guys, the young guys support the old guys and EVERYONE benefits.

I have always had an interest in being in shape.  I have felt committed to it for about 12-13 years, but I have never been as motivated as I have been in the last 2 months.  And it is all primarily due to comments from you guys – the Power of your Positive Peer Praise.

Several years ago I helped write a series of articles about people who were getting ready for their first bodybuilding competition.  It was called AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONS, and most of them truly were amazing stories.  The series was  about people who had made a commitment to get in the best shape of their lives.  They had found the combination of training, motivation, diet and supplements that worked for them, and at least 90% of them had one comment in common they consistently made – “I never dreamed I could look this good!”

Now I find myself saying the same thing!  I believe I have found the combination of training, motivation, diet and supplements that is working for me and I never dreamed I could look this good.  I believe the positive peer praise I have received by being a BodySpace member has helped me achieve the best conditioning of my life.  I hope that I have been able to give back a portion of that support and praise in comments to others.

As I have said from the beginning, “It’s never too late to start – and so far, I can see no reason to stop!”  Now, I am also saying, “Every time I think things can’t get any better – THEY DO!  And, I firmly believe the best is still in the future for all of us.”

To the BodySpace Administrators, I say THANK YOU for providing this powerful tool to help us all achieve our goals.  To each of you, I also say THANK YOU!  Thank you for the positive peer praise, thank you for your acceptance and support, and thank you for your friendship!  It all means the world to me!

As always – my opinion!  -Ray

This is just a quick entry to say a humble and sincere THANK YOU to everyone who looked at my profile page, made comments and started friendships!  Frankly, I am just sitting here with my jaw dropped in awe!  While I don’t feel deserving, I am VERY proud just to have a profile here on BodySpace, much less be considered one of the most visited!

I’ve been here less than two months, but I can honestly say I am in the best shape of my life and the biggest reason for that is the huge amount of encouragement and support I get from you guys on here.  And, I firmly believe the best is yet to come.  I am totally committed to moving to the next level, which for me is 8-10 more pounds muscle while maintaining low bodyfat and definition!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all you Dads!  I’m the proud father of a son and a daughter, both married — AND, I have four of the best grandchildren anyone could ask for:  Grady - 9, Sydney Rae - 7, Reed - 5, and Mary Helen - 3.

This is definitely MY opinion, but life dosen’t get much better than this!  Thanks again  -Ray

I kind of enjoyed looking at the Bodybuilding.com home page today.  Yeah, there are still plenty of underwear photos, BUT, If you look at the current top six most visited profile pages, NONE OF THE PROFILE PHOTOS ARE IN UNDERWEAR!  And, that includes both men AND women!

I guess it just proves that MUSCLE is more popular!  At least on here - which is definitely the way it should be on Bodybuilding.com.

Just my opinion.  -Ray

Here’s maybe another way to look at it (referring to previous blogs):

Would you answer your door in only your lace panties with your arm across your boobs, not knowing who is there?  I think most of us would not, but apparently some don’t have a problem with that.  This website is visited thousands of people you don’t know everyday–why would you want to introduce yourself to them this way?  (FYI - these are rhetorical questions, no answer is necessary!)

As always, my opinion only!  Thanks!  -Ray

FOLLOW-UP TO A PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY

Well, since I posted my Adult Profile Photo blog a few days ago, I’ve received a number of comments. A few were posted on here but many more have been by e-mail or private message. By far, the majority of those responding have been in agreement, but there have been those, as predicted, who have been offended. And a few who don’t seem satisfied unless they can change my opinion to theirs.

The whole point of my blog is to express MY opinion, and I have always believed EVERYONE is entitled to at least that . . . their opinion.

Everyone has different taste — taste in food, taste in clothes, and taste in photos. The fact that you cook your chicken different from the way I cook mine does not make yours taste better. It does not make mine taste better either, it just makes them taste different.

My only point was THIS IS A BODYBUILDING SITE and is open to ALL ages. However, it seems that some of us are more interested in the number of hits our page gets than showing true accomplishment or progress. And we will show as much skin as it takes to get those hits.

I am somewhat surprised that so many of the cheesecake photos are from mothers. And they seem proud for their children to view ALL of the photos posted here. It leaves very little to the imagination. I believe (emphasis on I) this is inappropriate for children and I hope they don’t have issues in the future because of this. That would be unfortunate.

If some of our profile photos were submitted to Match.com or eHarmony.com for posting in our profile, they would be REJECTED. If we appeared on a competition stage in our underwear, we would not be allowed to compete. SO WHY IS THIS KIND OF PHOTO ACCEPTABLE ON HERE?

I wish Bodybuilding.com would delete the newest photos and most visited sites from the homepage, or change it to show NEW MEMBERS only. That would eliminate this competition and, we can still use the photo page to find the truly NEW photos that have been posted in the category we want to see.  Of course, as one of you commented to me, not matter what the rules are, some will always find a way around them.

I was told that if you find a photo objectionable you can report it. I will start doing that in the future, and I would encourage more of you to do the same. Perhaps the rules will be changed.

I’m not going to stop using this website because of the adult photos, but I will continue to supervise my grandchildren when they are on here, just as as I supervise the TV and movies they watch.

Again and as always, this is just my opinion. -Ray

ARTFUL PRESENTATION vs. PORNOGRAPHY

I have only been a member of BodyBuilding.com for a little more than five weeks, but I have seen more beautifully developed, motivating, muscular bodies in that short time than any other time in my life.  Unfortunately, I have also noticed a good number of nearly nude photos, topless women, butt cracks, pubic hair, treasure trails, underwear, and even a few totally nude photos or photos with just a towel or hand covering their privates.  It seems several Bodybuilding.com members will bear it all, but feel the need to cut off or black out their face – there has to be at least a little irony in that!

I am not a prude, but the fact remains, this is NOT an adult website.  Anyone, any age can sign-on and look at profiles and photos.  There are a ton of teenage members, with a good number under 16 years old.  I think it’s great that we are confident and comfortable enough with our bodies to take revealing photos, but, I do not believe this material is appropriate for a family friendly website.  I don’t even think its appropriate for an adult website unless the photos are “private” and you have to intentionally view them.

I also know there is a fine line between artful presentation and pornography.  But, BodyBuilding.com is a place we can show muscular development, body sculpting and goal achievement, not a place to relieve sexual tension.  I believe it qualifies as a social networking site, but I don’t think it’s intended to be a sexual website, but that is exactly what some members are making it.

If this IS a bodybuilding forum, it would seem appropriate for members to wear no less in their profile or progress photos than they would wear in a competition or on a public beach.  If a woman walked on stage and her one-piece suit was just a bottom or panties, she would be disqualified.  If a man walked on stage in a g-string or just holding a towel, he would be disqualified.  Profile photos show on the BodyBuilding.com home page and are displayed whether we want to see them or not.  If you want to have topless or naked photos, tell you friends you can e-mail them privately and don’t include them in your public profile.

My opinion is - CHEAP PHOTOS CHEAPEN US.  They add to the stereotype cheesecake, beefcake, meatmarket image society has placed on bodybuilders becasue they don’t understand us, what drives us, and they don’t seem to care to try.

I’m sure some will disagree.  Everyone has their own opinion of what is acceptable, but if you have a choice, why not ere on the side of modesty while still having a broad forum to display our bodybuilding progress and achievements.

As always, this is just my opinion.  -Ray 
 

STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT FROM THOSE WITH REAL PROGRESS?

I have the luxury of being able to be signed in to BodyBuilding.com all day when I am at work. That doesn’t necessarily mean I am surfing it all day, but I can frequently check to see the “NEWEST” progress shots. I’ve received a lot of positive peer praise from this site, and when I see someone who deserves it, I appreciate the opportunity to do my part to motivate and encourage them. For me, that peer recognition has helped me greatly the last 5 weeks.

By being able to frequently check-in, I have noticed that MOST of the time there are photos posted as MOST RECENT PROGRESS PHOTOS which are really OLD PHOTOS, or at best, photos that have been re-posted several times. My assumption is that the number of hits one gets to their website is a status symbol. Perhaps in the same way a positive comment boosts our ego. And, in one case, I believe the member is promoting his business, not his progress.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the ability to change my profile photo to suit my mood or whatever, I just don’t necessarilly think the entire membership needs to know I did it, unless it’s actually a new photo.

Regardless of the motivation for re-posting photos or changing your profile photo 15 times a day, what we are really doing is robbing those who are really making progress from their 15 minutes of fame on the home page, and isn’t THAT what this site is all about?  Giving support to those who are making progress!

I thought it would be funny to post the photo above as a progress shot. I was surprised by the number of members who have shared my view and appreciated the humor. On the other hand, I have had a FEW members who have really been pissed. However, I think the ones who are pissed are also the ones who are guilty. I’ve been told to mind my own business, get a life, bother someone else, and “I’m done with you man,” claiming THEY are taking the higher road!

My understanding is that ADVERTISING is not allowed on this site. I hope that we as members will respect the rules and respect those who deserve our praise for building a better body. It’s all about being better today than you were yesterday, and being better in the future than we are today.

As always, this is just my opinion, but I say we HELP each other, not fuel our own ego or pocket! -Ray