Bodybuilding-to-English Dictionary
From my upcoming Bodybuilding-to-English Dictionary. All in good fun. Hope you enjoy it.
“You’re just holding a little water.” (translation- You’re fat!)
“I’m just holding a little water.” (translation- I hope he/she/they cant tell that actually I’m fat.)
“He’s has a very symmetrical physique.” (translation- He’s small.)
“I cant believe he didn’t win! He was the freakiest thing on stage!” (transaltion- So what if none of his body parts go together.)
(Bonus translation- COM’ON! It’s called bodyBUILDING!)
“He’s a fantastic poser.” (translation- So what if he doesn’t even know how to do a proper front double-bi. He (pick one, any or all)
-does the splits…
-does a back flip…
-pop-locks in his posing routine.
(Bonus translation- is Kai Greene (OHHhhhh!)*
*Love you Bro for the fresh blood you bring(peace)
“I’m using this show as a warm-up.” (While this one is often legit it can also mean- I know I’m not ready but I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna compete. Besides I already paid for my NPC card.)
“Here’s the new criteria to replace the old criteria that we just made.” (This can mean any one of the following and almost always for women’s shows.
-Even though she has the most muscle she wont sell magazine covers, so…
-I know she doesn’t look like she’s trained a day in her entire life. But look at her chest. She’ll sell A LOT of magazine covers, so…
-Wait… Is this figure?.. It must be figure ’cause nobody’s doing somersaults. No wait. Maybe it’s bikini…? Oh I wish Rachel and Corey would come back and make all of this just go away.
(Bonus translation- We have absolutely NO idea WHAT we’re looking for.)
“I feel I bring the best combination of pure muscle and femininity.” (translation- I’m big and ripped enough to win the mens middle weights. But I came in with the best weave, my nails are perfect and check out these puppies. $3,000. EACH!
And the number one Bodybuilding-to-English euphemism(drum roll please)
“I’m off-season right now.”
That’s right. You got this one. Just wait for it. Wwwait-forrrrr-it…
(translation- I’M FAT.)
Ta-dahhhhhhhhhhh!
