When I first created this BodySpace page I had not actually weighed myself in about a year or two. Every time I had ever weighed myself, I was disappointed, then became obssessed with weighing and trying to lose the weight. I decided that I was just going to go on looks. So, after coming here I decided to just put in a number that made sense to me based on my personal perception of my body. I workout a good 5 to 6 days a week, but since I don’t feel like I look that great in the mirror, I put 290lbs. It made sense because at my lowest, even during the season, playing college ball,the lowest I ever got was 269lbs. I figured since I was no way in college basketball shape, despite my gym time, that`s what I most likely weighed.
I thought about it though and after reading quite a few articles and blogs on here, it seemed more logical to actually weigh myself, so that I had a definitive goal instead of picking it out of the air. There is a good scale at my gym in the locker room which I see every day, so I decided I’d step on it. It was kind of a big deal and I actually chickened out a few times during the week. Then finally on Saturday, I thought,"what the hell!". I mean I already think I weigh 290. At the worst, I could weigh a little more, but at least I’ll know and can just start working towards that goal of 270lbs. It would only be 20lbs. So, I had a nice long workout, kickboxing, running, weights, the works. When I finished, it was time for my toughest challenge. "The Dreaded Scale" I took my sneakers off, because well at size 17, those things weigh at least an extra lb and I stepped on. The scale is in Kilos, so I watched as the needle moved along 110, 115, 119..It stopped at 121. I had no idea what that was but in front of me was a conversion chart. I looked through it and to my shock, my surprise, my utter dismay, I was 266lbs! I could not get the smile off my face for about 30 seconds. It was a great feeling to realize that while my perception was that I was 290, I was actually 266. I was 24lbs off the mark. Before this, I was questioning whether I should just give up on losing weight and except that I was a fat kid, fat teen and going to be a fat 30 year old. Or at the very least, I wasn’t going to get where I wanted my body to go. This proved to me that the work has been for something. I am getting there. Its a slow process, but I’m actually doing it.
I had to come home and change my profile and goals. It now said 266lbs and my goal is now to lose 16lbs by July 4th. I have never been 250lbs in my entire life. Getting there would be freakin awesome! My personal perception has changed a little for the better and I hope I can continue to change it. I want to look in the mirror on July 4th and smile, knowing that I kicked that fat kids ass.
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