Ponyboy76’s BodyBlog

It is hard being your own cheerleader all the time. I do not have the benefit of a workout partner so its just me, myself, and I when I hot foot it to the gym. When it comes to working out and wanting to change my body I have only one person in my cheering section and that is me. My family, namely my sister and mother don’t and can’t really understand why I do it. They say things like , "When are you going to stop losing som much weight." They just don’t get the struggle. Most of the women I have dated don’t really get it either. They just see it as some obssession that has taken over my life. Of course I see it totally different. I have a goal and I am trying to achieve it but it takes effort and time. I just find it hard sometimes, to get the motivation to hit the gym when everyone else is saying "why bother?" or just nothing at all. Then I remember that I am not doing it for them. I am doing it for me. Its just tough sometimes.

I need to build more muscle. I know my goal is to get that long sort after 6 pack, but all these cardio sessions are shrinking my body. I’ve been doing at least 8 to almost 10 cardio sessions for the last 3weeks.  I know I have lost some muscle. Not much thanks to supplementation. Thank you Xtends. But I don’t want to lose any more muscle. I want to gain muscle. Even if its just a little every month. My diet has also been pretty damn good. I keep my carb intake low and protein pretty high with fats at a good level, too. I’m going to try a sort hybrid weight program that is mostly for bulking but I’ll continue to do the cardio sessions. I guess I should add more calories to my diet but I’m afraid if I do that, I’ll be adding the fat back on. Not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions?

It is sometimes hard to maintain focus on your goals while the rest of the world is doing its thing. There are so many distractions that sometimes they can overwhelm you. There are a few things that help me out when I see that I am losing focus on my fitness goals. One of them is simply looking in the mirror seeing where I might be slipping and trying to visualize what I want to look like.  Another thing is actually checking out BodySpace and the profiles of people who have made alot of positive changes with their bodies which have even clearly changed their outlook on their lives. Funny enough I seem to get a little more inspiration from the women because alot of the guys on here started from a different place. There are a few that were fat and lost weight and built muscle which is where I`m coming from but its hard to relate to a guy who used to be skinny and then bulked up gained muscle. Most of the women seem to come from a I used to be fat and now I want to tighten up. The women, not surprisingly are also a little more expressive with how they were and what they want to accomplish.  The third thing I tend to do to keep focus is to just psyche myself into it. I tell myself to get off my ass and hit the gym. At the end of the day no one can do this for you. People can encourage you but in the end you alone are the person who has to live with your body. You are the one that either succumbs to the laziness, lack of desire or pushes through it to do what you want. I am at a point where I can actually see progression. I see that I can gain the body I want, but I can also see myself reverting to the old ways. The trick is making sure that doesn`t happen. So I have to Maintain focus. Its not even an option! 

Thanks to a few BodySpacers like BigNic and their encouraging words I have not given up on my goals. It has been a rough 2 weeks but ironically the thing that is going the best for me right now is my progress at the gym. I weighed myself today and I actually weigh 5 lbs more than my last weigh in but I look better now at 239lbs than I did at 234lbs. Its funny how that works. I think using the Creatine Monohydrate and Micellar Casein has helped me to put on some more muscle which is a good thing. I have also continued with my 2 a day cardio sessions which seem to also be forcing out that pesky bodyfat. I just have to keep on doing what I am doing.

I`m seriously considering giving up my dreams of looking good and having a six-pack. My progress has pretty much stopped to the point of it feels like I am going backwards. I see everyone else here kicking ass and making great gains while I just don`t seem to be getting anywhere. Maybe I should just accept the fact that what I want may not be possible. This sucks, big time!

Sometimes, I think we are still living in the stone age. Its 2008, and I’d say the majority of people still have these old school, preconceived notions that muscles on anyone else but a guy is unnatural and strays away from femininity. I just don’t get the backwards thinking. Case in point, the receptionist at my job has recently joined a gym because she would like to lose weight. She’s not really overweight or anything but I think she would like to just tone her body up and wants to look and feel more healthy. That`s not a bad thing to aspire for, if you ask me. She had been doing alot of cardio but she hadn’t really noticed any changes so, she knows that I workout regularly and asked me for a few tips.  I asked her about her diet and it sounded like she was mostly doing the right things My next question was if she did any weight training. She said no, because she "didn’t want to get big". I tried to explain to her that the notion of her getting big from doing a little weight training was silly and that in order to really change your body shape, you need to incorporate some weight training. I had come across this great article in BB.com writtine by BuffMother that really explained why weight training was essential. I figured hearing it from another woman who obviously knows her stuff would help. I sent her the link and as she began to read the first thing she said was," Yuck, she looks like a man! I don’t want to look like that!" Now, I know most of you have seen BuffMother’s profile and she obviously looks nothing like a man. It was solely the fact that she had a body that was defined with visible muscle that caused that comment. I tried to explain to the receptionist that that is what an athletic, healthy body looks like. She wasn’t buying it so I pretty much gave up, but that is not the first time I have heard such ludicrous statements coming out of people’s mouths. It seems people have been so indoctrinated with the notion that men are supposed to have muscles and woman are supposed to be soft and delicate. I had thought that perhaps because woman have shown to be just as capable and in some cases better than men at doing many things that maybe the notion would evolve but it hasn’t. I wonder if it ever will change or will woman that strive to get the absolute best out of their bodies forever be looked upon as un-feminine.

Sometimes programs work and sometimes they don’t. I`ve found that working out and general fitness tends to be a lot of trial and error. I’ve been on this program for 3 weeks which isn’t too long but I realize that I am not getting the results I want. The program was basically to build muscle and lower my bodyfat. I am building muscle but I’ve not really lost much if any bodyfat. I’ve actually gained almost 9lbs, which at first sounds bad, but looking in the mirror, it seems to be mostly muscle. The thing is, it is Summer time and I don’t really think that this program ,while good for building muscle, is not right for losing the bodyfat I want in order to throw the shirt off.  Again I know that 3 weeks into a 12 week program might not be enough to gauge its effectiveness but if I wait for the full 12 weeks, the Summer will pretty much be over and who knows how much weight I’ll put on. I think that I will put this program down and use it in the Winter when I’m not under such a tight schedule to burn fat.
 I am going to start a program that is a little shorter and more focused on burning bodyfat while still making decent gains in lean muscle. I also need to start doing 2 a days again to boost the fat burning process. I tanked a little but I can still realize my dream of a shirtless Summer beach day before its too late. Any suggestions that would help the process would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

I am sort of like an alcoholic or at least a recovering one, because like them I have what some would consider an addiction. Not to drinking but to foods that I know aren`t doing me any favors. Potato chips, candy, cakes, ice creams and pies are screwing with my diet, which in turn are screwing with my goals of a shirtless summer.  Some alcoholics after a few weeks of not having a drink and doing well, feels so good that they think, to themselves, "Its been months since I`ve had a drink, one won`t hurt" One turns into 2, which turns in 6 and they have just ruined all the progress they have made. Like them, I thought that a cookie once in a while or that bag of hula hoop chips would be fine. I even started buying them to put in the house as a way of saying that my will power was strong enough to handle it. Like leaving a bottle of Jack Daniels around for an alcoholic. But, that thinking was wrong. I`ve had a terrible few weeks of eating junk food and now I`m paying for it with a 6.6lb gain in weight. Some of it may be muscle but I`m sure most of it is fat. I realize now, just like that recovering alcoholic, I need to keep all that junk away from me. My will power will get to to the point of me being able to have junk in the house and not eat it, but I am not there yet. I know that if I just cut out the bits of crap that I eat, I will make some serious progress. My diet is pretty damn good besides that stuff. I eat 5 to 6 small meals a day including my protein. I don`t drink anything but water and tea. My discipline as far as social drinking is at an all time high. My workouts kick ass. This is the only thing from stopping me attaining what I`ve been wanting for so long. Its the last and largest hurdle. So, I am starting from today to clean up my diet, and going cold turkey, taking it a month at a time. The only snacks I will have are almonds with the occasional raisins, but restrict myself to a handful (luckily I have pretty hands) a day. Its almost summer and even though I have hit a snag, I am not out of the race. I didn’t get it before and its time to stop half assing it. In a month, I`ll post again and not hopefully, but definitely, I`ll have some great results to report.

Stay Gold!

I swear some people are still living there. The other day I was my cousin’s house watching the Hopkins fight and just conversing. His girlfriend, who is a great girl makes a comment about me living a comment on this woman`s facebook page. The woman was a figure/bodybuilder with a really great physique. So I complimented her on it, espcially her abs. They were obviously really well toned and defined. So, she asks me in a really sort of condescending way, "If I like that sort of thing" like it was some crazy freakish thing. Then she commenting on how it was such a masculine thing to appreciate, like because I think the woman had a great set of abs and I was attracted to that, it somehow said that I liked guys. I just don`t get that whole way of thinking. Like somehow a woman with a great set of abs is less of a woman, where as if a guy has a great set of abs, he’s just being a guy and he works out.  Yeah, I don’t get it. To me there is not many things sexier than a fit woman with a beautiful set of abs. It says she`s obviously healthy. She works out and takes care of herself and more so it shows that she`s confident. I`ve heard guys say similar things and it sounds pretty stupid to me, but I guess to each their own.

I was talking about how I have seemed to hit a plateau but I’m trying to push through. Now, I have messed up my lower back and I actually don`t know how it happened. The right side of my lower back has been soar for awhile but this week, its gotten a lot worse where I haven`t been able to run and it even hurts when I sleep. Its really annoying because I was doing really well, with the double cardio for the passed 2 weeks. Now, I`ve only run once since Saturday. It probably doesn’t sound like a big deal but for some reason I get it into my head that even if I work out, but don`t do cardio, I`m going to get fat. I know its not logical but try telling my brain that, so I end up feeling bad that I haven`t done any cardio. Its pretty frustrating. I`m not sure if I should give the gym a rest entirely today and see if I`m better tomorrow or should I just ignore the pain and run through it and maybe risk it getting worse.