PhoenixLuv’s BodyBlog

Meal 1

2 mini whole wheat bagels

2 morningstar sausage patties

2 tsp low fat cottage cheese

1 packet low sugar oatmeal

1 tsp suggar - all out of splenda

Meal 2

1 whole wheat tortilla wrap

1 morningstar chicken patty

1 Tbs ranch

1 Tbs relish

1tsp spicy brown mustard

1 tsp honey mustard

salt and pepper

handful of mixed nuts

Meal 3

1 cup special k cereal

1/2 cup fat free lactaid milk

Meal 4

2 cups mixed salad greens

1 cup broccoli cuts

1/2 cup chickpeas

1 morningstar burger

1oz feta cheese

1Tbs honey mustard dressing

3Tbs italian dressing

(too big a portion and too much salad dressing led to bloat - yuck!!!)

Meal 5

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 cup water

98% fat free butter popcorn

popcorn sprinkle

low cal gatorade

Meal 1

1cup Honey Nut O’s

1/2 cup fat free lactaid milk

1 slice whole wheat toast

1tsp margarine

1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese

Meal 2

1 can chickpeas

2Tbs ranch

2tsp spicy brown mustard

1tsp honey mustard

1Tbs relish

salt and pepper

Meal 3

98% fat free butter popcorn

popcorn sprinkle

Meal 4

10 low sodium ritz crackers

10 thin slices reduceed fat american cheese (block cheese)

2 slices vegetarian bologna

Meal 5

1 whole wheat tortilla

4 thin slices reduced fat american cheese (block cheese)

1tsp ranch

handful of mixed salad greens

1 morningstar chicken patty

Meal 6

98% fat free butter popcorn

popcorn sprinkle

I am melting down and freaking out cuz I just did my weigh in today and I’m now 193lbs and terrified.  I have gained like 6-7lbs since I started changing my diet and working out.  I know part of it is muscle but I still so scared.  I have been 230lbs before there is nothing attractive or healthy about it.  I’m losing inches, my body fat % is going down but the numbers on the scale just keep going up.  Maybe part of it is because I had such a junky food day yesteday.  Any advice I’d be so happy to hear it.  I changed the way I eat and I’m working out 4-5 times a week, lifting heavy when I weight train.  I just can’t get back to 200lbs, emotionally it will just kill me.

Today I made so many bad diet decisions it’s ridiculous I am not only frustrated and angry with myself cuz I have no one to blame but myself but I feel like a total failure.  I had a half of a tasty cake brownie, probably like 6 oatmeal raisin cookies, and a whole 12inch hot veggie sub.  Now I feel bloated and just disgusted with myself.  I know I’m only into my 3rd week of eating right and working out but I just feel like I ruined it all and right before I do my weekly weigh in tomorrow.  My gym is closed already today, cuz I had a late day at work.  I’m tired from work and stressing out so I think I’m just gonna take a nap and once it gets cool take the dog for a long walk and do some plyometrics.  IDK!?  Ahhh why can’t loosing weight be easy hehe….eh it’s worth the challenge that I know.

I know a couple of people told me it is normal to gain weight in the 1st couple of when you first start weight lifting and working out.  I have went from 186.8lbs to 190lbs and I am terrified to hit 200lbs, I’ve been 200+ before and I promised myself I would never let myself get there today.  So I am going to try and revamp my diet and I guess add more cardio because I am lifting heavy in the 6-8 rep range.  I have noticed good changes my biceps are getting bigger, I’ve lost 4 inches off my waist in 2 wks which is a big problem area.  My BF% dropped from 34% down to 32.6%.  It’s the little changes that keep me motivated because normally I lose my motivation after the 1st wk or two.  If anyone has any advice I’d gladly take it.

So the biggest thing in weight loss is definitely a diet.  I am hoping to hear from nutritionist, nutrition saavy, vegetarians, and vegans on this one or anyone who thinks they can offer a few words of advice.  I have been trying to make sure that I get enough protein in and shape my meals to eat healthy and support what I want to do which is loose weight and gain muscle.  I’m 5′2″ and 180lbs everything says I should eat around 1700-1800 calories a day.  I will not lie I do not count every single calorie I find I fall off the band wagon easier when I do, I try to average.  I eat 5 times a day, 6 if it’s been a really active day or if I am still hungry later on in the day.  My days off and my days were I work a shorter shift are the easiest to prepare healthy meals for, my long days which are like 10-12hrs, I am supposed to get an hour lunch but usually have about 5-15 minutes to try and eat and keep moving with my work.  Any advice people could offer would help me alot, because I definitely stink when it comes to eating smart I will not lie.  My biggest thing which I know is bad, I don’t eat fresh fruit their are only a few types of fruit that I haven’t had an allergic reaction too, like bananas are a big no-no (I’m planning on having food allergy testing done).  I try to get canned fruit that is canned in water or juice.  I bloat really easily to so if anyone has any foods that I should stay away from let me know.  I usually work out in the evening after I get off work which is 7-7:3-pm but I am trying to drag my butt out of bed to do it before work around 6:00am (I’m not a morning person). 

Here’s a sample menu:

Meal 1

1 or 2 packets of plain grits or maple&brown sugar weight control oatmeal…1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 or 2 morningstar sausages, occ 1/2 cup canned fruit

Meal 2

Activia Yogurt….1/2 cup mixed nuts

Meal 3

2 cups romaine lettuce…1/2 cup black eyed peas…1 oz shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese…10-15 croutons…2-3Tbs low fat sesame ginger (or another asian salad dressing) dressing

Meal 4

1 piece low-fat mozzarella string cheese…1/2 cup mixed nuts or 90-100 calorie pack snack

Meal 5

Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones frozen dinners or tofu and broccoli stir fry or whole wheat pasta…mixed vegetables….spaghetti sauce

My restrictions: No beef, pork, poultry, seafood, eggs (unless it’s like baked into something), I only drink lactaid milk I’m slightly lactose and tolerant, no bananas (Sorry if this makes things harder)

Ever since I have started weight lifting I have had a few hand DBs at home, different weights or was lifting at my old gym which was like a cheap little whole in the wall where not to many people were there at one time.  I’m now starting to go to the gym at the YMCA in abingdon, md around the corner from where my parent’s live huge difference.  How do you kick the nervousness more so than fear of going over and lifting weights with the big boys and exp gals?  Not feeling like they are waiting for you to idk make a mistake or something idk lol.

Things the past few days have just been devasting to loose my apt was one thing but to see my whole life packed away in a storage unit was just depressing.  I’ve had a couple bits of junk food here and there but I just feel so awful.  My job actually wrote me up for calling out because I was getting evicted and needed to move all my stuff so it wasn’t thrown out on the street and I called every available person who could cover for me.  My job and their lack of hours are the reason I lost my apt, they want me to give all I got but don’t want to give me a damn thing.  I haven’t been to the gym in the past 2 days between 36hrs of packing, lifting, and moving, going up and down 3 flights of stairs and what not I felt like one giant exhausted bruise. I am off work tomorrow so I am thinking of going to the salon to have my hair done, just something for me.  And hitting either the gym or dance studio, maybe even both.  I’m just in that place right now where I feel extremely depressed and stressed and I just feel like a huge fat blimp trying not to fall off the band wagon.  So if you are living in the abingdon/bel air, MD area which is where I am now and know of any better jobs or places for rent let me know.

I am so in the mood for some junk food so badly mostly because I am feeling so crappy about being evicted and more so being given less than 2 days by my landlord to move.  I’m thinking about ordering some asian take out food so I am getting some comfort food with out the large amount of calories like if I was ordering an order or cheese fries or going for ice cream which are like my junk food favorites.  IDK!?

I am new to bodyspace and have posted some before pics of myself which are rather embarrassing because of how fat I am in them.  I am hoping they will embarrass and shock me into pushing myself harder to lose weight and eventually be able to post pics I am proud of.  Well I am off to the gym, ciao 4 now.