PetethePianist’s BodyBlog

Live Fast, Die Fun!   I can’t believe the opportunity has finally come.  Just three months to  graduation and I’ve never had a true house party.  My dad has been in California  for the past few days and tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be dropping my mom off at the  airport to fly down and meet him there.  Sure, I had a small gathering last  night, but tonight will be epic.  This is something my friends have been waiting  years for.  I told James about it first, even though he’s a freshman, he’s  basically a younger version of me and I know he’s inviting the right people.   Saturday night will be a night to remember. I’ve never considered myself part of the popular crowd, I’m just someone  that everyone knows.  People are always obsessed with gossiping about me; it  doesn’t bother me anymore, I just enjoy counting how many people I apparently  have pregnant on any given day.  So yeah, I drive a nice car and everyone thinks  I’m hot, I just have a naturally high self-esteem.  I basically wear jeans and a  white t-shirt every day, and I have a naturally rebellious outlook on life so  everyone calls me James Dean, or JD for short. “Yo JD, how many people do you want me inviting to this shit?” “**** James, you think I care?  Call everyone…. Except Mike, that kid’s  a douche.  Actually, make sure he knows about tomorrow and that he isn‘t  invited.”   “Haha, alright dude.” James and me are a team.  I met him when he was just a little 10 year  old, a lot like I was at that age, and he joined my boy scout troop.  I knew I  had to groom him; otherwise he would just grow to be weird and nerdy like other  scouts before me.  He’ll thank me some day for what I’ve done for him.  He was  going to join the Freshman Football team, but I saved him, and got him to join  Marching Band instead.  Our Marching Band wasn’t just band geeks standing around  making Band Camp jokes.  We had our own world.  If you’re in Marching Band, you  date someone in Marching Band; outsiders can’t understand our way of thinking.   Now that Marching Band season is over, he’s in Indoor Drumline with me, and I’m teaching him how to play  xylophone so he can continue my legacy after I graduate. The whole school day has been a blur for me, I’ve invited basically  everyone who’s at school today.  I’m even inviting my math teacher; he wouldn’t  rat us out, if anything, he’d bring a keg.  I can’t wait to start getting ready  for this thing.  Its 2:10, just ten more minutes to freedom and I can’t take it. “Hey Miss Asel, can I go to the bathroom?” “Come on, we’ll be done in 10 minutes, I’m sure you can hold it.” I grab my bag and walk out.  Car keys in my hand, I start the automatic ignition  before I’m even in the parking lot.  I leave early on a regular basis, at this  point my mom doesn’t even know what time school actually lets out. “Mom, you don’t mind if a few of the guys hang out over the weekend,  right?” “No problem, you know I trust you.” Haha, I love it when my dad’s out of town. I think I’ll gather some of the guys tonight to throw off my mom about what I said earlier, but mainly to figure out a game plan for tomorrow.  I call  the essentials and tell them to gather.  James, Tom, Clairmont, Ox, and Chris  are on their way.  Tom and Chris are seniors too, I’ve been friends with Tom  since Kindergarten, and Chris is a band buddy who’s funny as hell when he  doesn’t take his ADD meds;  kinda like a young Chris Farley.  We all gather in  my living room, beers in hand; my mom won’t do shit about it ‘cause she’s up in  her room blazing.  This party has to be huge, I want to be remembered. “Chris, get on your phone now…. Find out what those cheerleader bitches  are up to tomorrow.” “Tom, you’re taking care of the drink situation.  All I can provide is  some vodka, Kahlua, and some of my dad’s scotch.” “Ox and James, call your little sophomore sluts, tell them they’re  cordially invited and they gotta dress to impress.” I’ve always been a leader among my friends, and this is what I’m best at.  We’ve  got girls taken care of, I’ve got the music, and thanks to some magic that Tom worked, looks like we’ll be getting some complimentary kegs.  The  guest list is up to 80, I think we’re ready for this. “Alright guys, you did good tonight.  Now get the **** out of here and  get some sleep.  You’ll be back here tomorrow night at 7 to set up.” Barely able to sleep, I turn on the history channel and struggle to  watch.  Tomorrow morning will be here soon.  The next noise I hear is my mom  knocking on my door; its 1:30, and we need to leave by 2:15. As we get closer to the airport, paying attention to the rain-slicked  road, I notice my mom rooting through her purse.  First, she takes out her car  keys that also have a key for my dad’s car and a small knife attached; that  certainly wouldn’t be allowed on the plane.  She then pulls out $80 for me to  use for food over the weekend.  Yeah… sure… food.  We pull over next to the  Southwest Airlines portion of the airport and I can barely keep my hands from  shaking with excitement. “OK mom, I’ll see ya on Thursday.  Tell dad I said hi.” “Be good, I’ll call you when I land.  Love you.” “Wha?  Oh… yeah, love you too.” My foot is already on the gas as I was goodbye to her, I should be doing  about 80 before I hit the ramp for I-95.  This day is made for me, barely a car  in sight ahead of me, I won’t drop below 90 until I’m home.  No cops in sight,  even God must want this party to go off without a hitch. At home, I run up to my room and throw on gym shorts and a beater.  I  wanna look good for tonight, so its time to pump up.  Normally I wouldn’t care  about showing off to these girls, but James said Allie might be coming. No one compares to Allie, her ass is glorious.  Her ass is the reason I  show up to school early, to see what g-string is accompanying her usual  low-rider jeans.  Oh what I wouldn’t do to tap that ass. Inspired by the prospects tonight will offer, my adrenaline is on  overhaul through the entire workout.  My phone won’t stop ringing, after this  set, I’ll run it into the locker room.  Once I finish my workout, I’ll race back home and get a shower.  I’ve already got my favorite jeans and Hanes  undershirt waiting on my bed; underwear is for losers.  To save time, I should  just pick up James on my way home. “Yo James, get ready… I’ll be in front of your house in 15 minutes,”  hanging up before he could respond. Pulling up my driveway, I’m calling up the team, telling each of them to  get their asses to my house.  Ox is the first to arrive, since he lives in  walking distance.  He isn’t really my friend, he’s more of Clairmont’s friend  who lives about 4 houses away from me, and that kid is funny as shit.  Clairmont  is the only person I’ve ever seen eat Reese’s Puffs cereal with Bailey’s instead  of milk, apparently its orgasmic.  He just gets funnier when he drinks, since  when sober, he kinda gives off a computer nerd vibe.  Should be hilarious  tonight, this is no occasion to stay sober. Things have been set up for a little while as people start to get here,  the usual faceless partygoers show up and immediately start drinking.  As I look out my front window, I see a truck backing up my driveway; its  my math teacher.  He’s decided to come along with three kegs, such a nice guy.   Music is pulsing throughout the house, I gotta respect my dad’s love for  ultimate home audio.  The kegs are set up at different points on my back patio,  but I’m not much of a beer drinking, so I’ll leave that to the guests; that is,  until a game of beer pong breaks out. My friend Laura, the school bicycle, is hanging out on the couch with  some faceless guy I don’t recognize.  I don’t really want to talk to her  tonight, last night was awkward enough.  She, Chris, James, Ox and I were just  hanging out at my house, and one thing led to another and we ended up in my  bedroom.  Upon being in the room, she took Ox into my walk-in closet, and  proceeds to take his virginity.  Normally we wouldn’t do anything to disturb a  friend getting laid, but this was Laura; I thought he had better taste than  that, no wonder I don’t like him.  We turned on music for them, but what they didn’t realize was that the music was actually to mask the sound of  my grabbing a camera and James’ preparation to kick the door in.  As we kicked  it in and flashed the picture, one thing stands out more than anything and we  all start cracking up.  Ox was wearing two condoms; we decided not to ask who’s  idea it was. About sixty people are coursing through my house and back yard, not bad  if I may say so myself.  I turn to ask James if he wants a shot, and I notice  he’s on his phone and smiling. “So if you came, how long would you be able to stay?… Till eleven?   That’s not bad, I know JD definitely wants you here….  What do you mean you  can’t get a ride?… Why is your dad acting pissed, you’re like a ten minute  drive from here, he can drop you off.” “Yo JD, Allie said she can come, but she needs a ride.  You good to  drive?” “Hell yeah, you know me.  Just thinking about her ass is sobering me up” As I knock back the double shot of Smirnoff in my hand. “Who’s ridin with me?” James, Tom, and Ox follow me outside to my Civic.  Everyone loves my car, the sound  system is competition-grade and only set me back $9000.  Rims are coming soon,  an already promised graduation present.  Although it doesn’t quite compare to my  namesake’s Porsche, it’ll do for now. We all pile in and I start to pull out, but I notice something;  something gleaming in the corner of my eye.  The keys my mom took out of her  purse are still sitting on my console, including a key to my dad’s brand new  Chrysler 300C with a Hemi engine that’s sitting in the garage several feet away.   This decision is simple, we need to get to Allie’s house fast, and the best way  to do that is with a fast car.  I grab the keys and tell my crew to switch cars. I’ve never driven this car before, its been in our garage for 5 weeks  and I’ve only ridden in it a few times.  I can feel the power surging under my  foot as I tap the gas to pull out.  This is the best idea I’ve had in a long  time.  Backing out of the driveway, I notice the speedometer is up to 45mph, I better be careful with this car.  Pulling out of the  neighborhood onto Germantown Pike gave me my first opportunity to see what this  car could do.  I slammed on the gas over the next half mile, and watched the  speedometer hit 130; we’ll be at Allie’s house in no time. Pulling up to her house, she’s just coming out the door; we’re all  staring at the same thing.  She puts Jenna Jameson to shame, no one compares to  her and she knows it. James gets out to hug her as we all say hello, Ox gets out to offer her the  middle seat in back.  We’re set to get back to the party, there’s drinking to be  done and a limited amount of time to do it.  I slow down as I come to the first  stop sign, rolling through it, I don’t have time to stop.  I punch the gas as we  round a turn, seeing a faint light from the other end of the curve.  Slowing  down to 70mph, I realize what that light is.  A huge 16-wheel truck is coming  from the opposite direction on this one-lane road, and its half onto our side.   I can’t believe how badly this jackass is driving, and I quickly swerve to avoid him.   Returning to the sharp turn, I quickly realize just how ****ed I am.  First I  feel the grooves in the road to signal that we’re onto the shoulder, before  being able to do anything, I feel it.  The guard rail grazes the side of the  car, I turn sharply to get away, forgetting about the rain from earlier in the  day.  The car immediately slams right back in to the rail as I begin my screeching stop.  I hear Ox in the back yell as his  head smacks into the handle above his window; whatever, I never liked him  anyway. “Is everyone alright?”  I look at everyone to see if they’re coherent. Thank God, the car probably just has a scratch on it, the air bags  didn’t even come out.  Gathering my composure, I get out to survey what that  ******* trucker made me do.  I take one look at the passenger side of the car,  and my heart sinks.  James’ door is half open, although he didn’t touch it.  The  front passenger headlight is gone, its accompanying fender is ripped to shreds.  The passenger side doors are heavily dented and  scratched, going back to the back fender which has minor scratches on it. “Why didn’t I just hit the ****ing truck head on?”  I thought to myself. I whip out my cell phone and call Chris.  He knows cars better than I do.   “Chris, you gotta get out here man, I crashed the 300…  Yeah,  everyone’s alright, but my dad is gonna kill me.  The right side of the car is  comple-” I wake up, thinking to myself, “Oh thank you, it was just a dream.”  I  take a moment to rejoice until I hear: “JD, are you there?  Are you OK?” I’m flat on my face in the middle of the street.  My phone is a few feet  away, scratched from its landing.  The asphalt has torn my leather jacket to  shreds, but I don’ even care.  I grab the phone. “Yeah I’m here…. I think I passed out.” “Did you hit your head when you crashed or something” “Haha Chris, I wish…. I just realized what my dad is gonna do to me when  he gets home on Thursday.” “Dude, seriously, get your ass out here.  I don’t know what to do.” After telling him where we are, he gives me the number for AAA and his  account information, telling me to call them while he heads over.  I call them,  but they say to expect at least a two hour wait for a truck.  Saturday nights  are bitches in this town for car crashes; I have no clue why.  Suddenly, it hits  me.  Who can I call to get the car towed fast?  Duh, the cops will be here in  minutes if I call them.  I called the wrong township first, but they directed me  to another, when I proceeded to explain in great and sobbing detail what had  happened. Chris arrives as I hang up with the cops, and I explain the situation to  him.  After showing the damage, I gather my crowd. “OK guys, when the cops get here, act as sober as you can.” Chris and I wait by the car as everyone else hangs out across the street  on a township-owned playground.  James and Allie are talking. “Shit Allie, are you alright?  I’m sorry you had to have this happen to  you.” “Oh, I’m fine, I just feel bad for JD, his parents are going to kill him.  There has  to be something I can do.” “I’m sure he’d appreciate anything you offer.” “Well, I don’t have any money on me, maybe I can just give him head or  something like that.” “I think he’d appreciate that.” The cops arrive with a tow truck, and I’m scared shitless.  Trying not  to give away what I’m nervous about, I just start shaking. “Don’t worry kid, it happens all the time.  You have nothing to be  afraid of; we’re here to help.” He continues to say these meaningless phrases to me as if there’s a list he’s  supposed to recite for everyone who’s had an accident.  All I hear in my head  is, “Its ok if you’ve been drinking.”  I calm down a bit. “Do you have a ride that can take everyone home?” I look at Chris, and the van he brought up. “Yeah, my friend Chris will take care of us.” After running some diagnostics on the car, seeing if it can be driven,  listening to the engine, etc, he moves on. “OK, this car doesn’t seem to be in drivable condition, we’re going to need to tow it to our impound lot.” He hands me the lot’s business card. “You’ll be able to arrange whatever you need to pick up the car, and  take it to the body shop of your choice.  If you have anything valuable in the  car, you should get it out now.” I look through the consoles, pulling out a couple CD’s of my dad’s, and the  Bluetooth phone he keeps in there for business calls while he’s out of the  office. “I think this is it, officer.” “Did you have anything in the trunk?” “I’m not sure, this is my dad’s car.” I go to hit the trunk-release on the keys, but I’m too shaken, and too drunk to  find the button.  I offer the keys to the officer for assistance, and turn to  talk to Chris as the officer opens the trunk. “What the hell are these?  Why do you have these in your car?  What did  you say you were out for?” The officer pulls three handguns out of the trunk.  My dad likes to go to a  shooting range after work sometimes, but I doubt the officer will believe me. “We were just picking up a friend to go hang out, I didn’t even know  those are there” I prepare to lay on the ground face down, as does Chris.  I’m going to jail for  a long time, and my dad is just going to kill me as soon as I get out. “Do you have permits for these weapons?” “No, but I’m sure my dad does, they would be at home, but he’s out of  town on a business trip.” “Does he know you’re driving his car?” “Of course he does, I drive it all the time.” “OK, well you kids should get on heading home, we’ll take care of this.   And I think we’ll hold onto these guns until your dad comes to pick them up.” “That’s a wonderful idea, thank you so much for all your help.” Holy ****ing shit.  We got away with it.  Well, they got away with it.   I’m still screwed come Thursday.  We all pile into Chris’ van and head back to  my house.  After all, there’s still drinking to be done, and Allie doesn’t need  to be home for another 2 hours.  I think I can pull it off in time. As we get back to my house, I’m extremely happy to find that a good portion of the people had left.   Word about the car had already spread throughout the party, and I explained what  happened to the remaining 15 or so people.  Laura was still hanging out with the  same guy, I was sure they would have left together by now.  Clairmont is being  funny as hell, I’m not laughing, but he makes it obvious that he’s the one who  finished off our drinks while we were out. As we all sit down, I strategically offer Allie the seat next to me on  the couch.  A little smaller than a person would typically want for comfort, but  hopefully we won’t be sitting here long. “I’m really sorry about tonight, the first time we hang out and its been  so traumatic.  I’m just glad that you’re alright.” “Oh, I’m fine.  I think I might know something to make you feel better.” She grabs my hand and walks me upstairs, leading me straight into my room. “Nice guess for someone who hasn’t been here before.” “The piano kinda gives it away.” “Good point.” She swings the door shut, both our bodies landing on the bed before we hear the  door close against the jamb.  This girl definitely realizes that we don’t have  all night; she didn’t waste any time at all. We both come down a while later, I realize she has to be home in 5  minutes, but that won’t take the smile off my face.  My crew is sitting in the  living room, all grinning at me, James is pretending to clap.  What a surprise,  Laura ended up leaving with that guy; apparently his name was Justin.  I feel  bad for Justin, but I’m still in a good mood for the moment.  We hear the  doorbell ring, not sure who it is, Allie speaks up,   “That’s probably my dad… I figured you probably wouldn’t want to drive  tonight, so I called him for a ride when you were talking to the cops.  Tom gave  him directions.” This girl is smart, I have to give her that.  I hug her goodnight, and watch  that conquered ass as she walks out.  Everyone but Tom and James leaves soon  after, they keep around and help me clean up the surprisingly small mess.  They both wish me good luck with my dad, and Tom offers to drop  James off to save me the trouble. About fifteen minutes after they leave, I get a phone call.  It’s the  house line ringing and not my cell, so I doubt its for me, but I answer anyway. “Umm… Hello?” “Hey, its mom, I just wanted to let you know, I just landed and your  father and I are headed out of the airport now.” ****.  I hear my dad talking in the background, just as loudly as my mom is. “Umm, mom… can you take me off speakerphone for a minute?” The last thing I hear my dad say before she does, “Oh hell, what did he do to my  car?”  I swear he’s psychic. “What is it?” “Umm…  I did something stupid.” “What did you do?” “I took dad’s car out…  I crashed it.” To my dad, “Yeah, it’s your car.” “What happened?” “I was just hanging out with the guys and we decided to ride around in  it.  We used the keys that you left in my car.”  Hopefully that passes the blame  slightly. “Well, we were driving on that road behind the Cedar Grove Barn, and as we took the turn, a truck came from the opposite  direction and forced us off the road.” “Was everyone ok?”  I realize I’m back on speakerphone.  It’s no use.   He’s talking but I’m shaking too much to concentrate on the background. “Yeah, no one got hurt; the car just has some damage to the passenger  side from grazing against a guardrail.  I called the cops and they towed it to  their impound lot.” “Wait, what about the guns in my trunk?”  I hear my dad clearly again. “Yeah, those were a fun surprise.  They believed me when I said I didn’t  know about them, so they’re holding onto them for you.” “We’ll talk on Thursday.”  The phone clicks I am so screwed; the next few days are a shaky blur.  I’m afraid to make  eye contact with anyone, barely able to gloat over what happened with Allie.  I  was surprised at how accurate the gossip throughout the school was.  Even my  teachers knew about it, and were asking me if I was alright.  I’m too upset to  even try to use the accident as an excuse to get out of work I don’t want to do. Thursday finally comes, its felt like an eternity, but still came way  too soon.  Friends offer to let me stay at their house, but I decide that this  is something I’m going to have to deal with.  I wait at home, staring out the  window, to see my dad’s other car, his Jeep, to pull up the driveway.  Hours  feel like minutes, and before I know it, here they come. They both put their bags down by the back door; I’m already trying to  get on their good side, so I carry everything upstairs for them.  I made sure  the house was spotless so they weren’t aware of the party several days prior.   My mom says a few words to me that might as well have been in Latin, I couldn’t  process a word.  Finally, my dad and I sit down to talk. “So, the 300C is a little stronger than you’re used to, huh?” “Yeah, I’m starting to think driving it was a bad idea.”  Trying to stay  in a joking manner, hopefully he’ll stay in one as well. “You know, if you had asked while I was home, I would have been happy to let you drive it and learn how to deal with that  much horsepower.” “Honestly, I had never considered driving that car before Saturday.  And  I don’t want to drive it again.” “Well, I suppose you want to know what I’ve thought of as punishment.” Here it comes; I’m ready to shield my head with my forearms. “First of all, I got a call from State Farm yesterday, with my quote.   It’s going to cost just over $12,000.  Guess who’s paying that…” Fair enough, saw that one coming. “Second, let me see your cell phone.”  I hand it to him.  “You’ll get  this back when I get my car back.” That one was painful. “Third, until I get my car back, you will do EVERYTHING your mom asks.” Right around time for spring gardening, this could suck, but I’m still getting  off lightly. “I was going to say that until I got my car back, I would drive yours.   But then again, I really don’t want to drive that thing.  Now go see if your mom  wants help in the kitchen.” Shit, that was it?  I’m not bleeding?  Granted, he’s never hit me once in my life, I thought this would be a  good reason to start.  I run to the kitchen to see what I can do.  Maybe  California softened him.  Or maybe I should just be a little more responsible  for now on.