PetethePianist’s BodyBlog

I’ve decided to join this site without telling anyone I know in hopes that no one I know will stumble on this, keeping me from being fully honest.

I’ve had weight problems for as long as I can remember, being overweight until my freshman year of highschool when I peaked at 216 pounds, (and just over 5′ 7") with little notable muscle.  I went on what I like to refer to as an "extreme diet" which is really just my euphemism for anorexia, which I dealt with from the end of my freshman year into my Junior year when I was 16.  At my worst point, (and coincidentally, my proudest), I was 5′11 and 124 pounds, with less than 4% body fat.  Although I’m not proud of how I got to that weight, I am glad that I was able to drop the fat, although ever since, no matter how hard I train I always see a fat reflection in the mirror.  I’ve been gaining weight back steadily for the past 4 years, typically hovering around 165 pounds and about 10-16% body fat, depending on the time of year.

I am extremely self-conscious about my appearance, to a degree which my social life is over; I barely even talk to people at the gym.  I’ve dated in the past, but haven’t gone out once in a year and a half now, with no signals of change in the near future.  I don’t work on my body to attract others though; it’s all for me.  I yearn to have a body I can be proud of, and hope for a confidence level that suits me well.

I train hard, and always keep form before trying to raise weights, and I’m willing to take any supplement that is suggested for my benefit.  Hell, I’d take steroids if they were legal.  I generally train 5-6 days a week, with the typical chest/tri, back/bi, leg, shoulder/ab breakdown, ending every workout with 20 minutes of high-intensity cardio.  I never played sports in school; quite the opposite, I was a band geek and not ashamed to say it.

I’ve found that only two things that I have access to can make me happy, besides the gym, only my piano will center me.  Working out and feeling that sense of accomplishment is an unparalleled high I get almost every day and I don’t know what I’d do without it.

I joined this site in hopes that I can find some people who are able to give me the advice I need to really make an impact on my life.  I’ve been dicking around the forums, and this seems like a genuine place filled with members with good intentions.  I’m open to any advice or criticism, in fact; I crave it.

-Pete

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 at 7:08 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.