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SHAREWill I ever win? Can I ever win this battle?
This month I have been working to make the same dramatic changes I managed to achieve last month. I was on track, although my bodyweight remained pretty much the same I was stronger, leaner and details on different muscle groups had me feeling I was racing forward.
That was before Friday. I have had another problem caused by my illness, I wont drone on about the specifics. This time stopping me completely from eating. Thursday afternoon was the last time I worked out. 7am Friday was the last time I ate. It is now 6pm Monday Irish time.
My weight, which is my biggest hurdle to overcome it has to be said, has plummeted from 142lbs . . . . to 129lbs in those 3 & 1/2 days. My lowest weight in over 2Â & 1/2Â years. This is my problem, I eat so much just to maintain myself that when a problem arises concerning my health, everything crumbles.
I have been thinking recently and have asked myself, will I ever win? Can I ever win? Can I keep getting up and putting the same amount of effort in with the same drive, same passion and bull-faced determination as I had the time before? Or will my willingness to pursue these goals eventually dwindle? My hopes sidelined and left in the cold to cramp up and become a distant shaddow.
Do I really need to answer that one for you? I am sick to the teeth with this STUPID ILLNESS!! I will NOT submit, I will NOT let it dictate my life like this.
I will not live with an illness, if this illness is going to stick around its going to have to learn to live with ME! So I will say it once more,
I do it becasue I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.
I will rip myself apart to overcome this. I will not deviate from my dreams.
Happy gyming my friends.
You win every time you come back with more detemination and you make up for the lsot time. Stay strong, Hero, your attitude is what will get you through this. Keep reciting your mantra and you will overcome.
I highly respect your determination to overcome your illness and achieve your goals...it's because of your determination and drive to succeed that you will get to where you want to be. You definitely inspire me to keep pushing myself no matter what. =]
Peter, I'm sorry to hear about the flare up. Gods know I've gone through that enough times myself. And you're absolutely right - everytime it happens you have to put even more effort in to getting where you were, let alone where you want to be.
And you're also choosing the only right response: to never give up.
Getting knocked down sucks, but if you can find the resolve to get back up again, you build a kind of mental strength that those who never have to experience those problems will never earn, no matter how 'hardcore' they are in the gym.
Rage. Rage against the dying of the light. Show the Universe who is boss. I'm right there with you.
I don't know what is worse, the mental exhaustion or the physical. I tell my son to take it one day at a time. He struggles with Type 1 diabetes, so while the illnesses are different, the battle is the same.
Don't look at it as one big fight. It's more managable to do it day by day, meal by meal.
Are there meals like liquids that are easier for you to take in when you come up against times like this?
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