Not Feeling It Today
Boy, I just am not feeling it today. In fact, I drove all the way over to the gym, grabbed my bag from the car’s back seat, and then promptly did a U-turn and walked away. Just the thought of entering the gym filled me with a sense of oppression so heavy, I felt as though a thousand-pound yoke had been laid across my shoulders.
For some reason, it is a dark and dreary November in my soul. I find myself thinking black thoughts. My patience is worn as thin as a politician’s morals and my limbs feel heavy and lethargic. I am not feeling it today.
I notice that this malaise creeps up on me every now and again. It does not happen often, but when it does, it is a tsunami of ennui threatening to swamp my boat of life. Mayhap I am in need of a vacation. It has, after all, been thirteen months since I last took myself off to an exotic locale and immersed myself among the holli polli. Calendar year 2008 was not an auspicious year (for anyone, I am willing to bet) and I have been working rather hard of late. (Still, I have a job, and for this, I am deeply, deeply grateful.) Yet, even the most hardly bitten workaholic in the world needs a respite every so often. Maybe that is what I need.
Then, again, it could be something else entirely. I don’t want to turn a blind eye to other - just as plausible - possibilities. One of my friends on this site (who shall remain nameless) confessed that she is suffering from F.A.T. (which I had never heard of, but which, upon researching it, sounds like a truly nasty state of mind) and is suspending not only her activities here on Bodybuilding.com, but is also stepping away from the entire bodybuilding lifestyle. The news saddened me. While we do not converse at that frequently, I always make it a point to stop by her profile pages to see what she has been up to. Her dedication and enthusiasm never failed to inspire me. Learning that she, too, is subject to the emotional ups and downs that I myself struggle against was enough to knock me for a loop. I hope that she rights herself and gets her life back on track.
So, there you have it - the bleak outpouring of my soul. I know that I will soon pick myself up, dust off my jacket (metaphorically speaking) and turn my mind to more enlightening and uplifting thoughts. Tonight, however, I am going to allow myself to wallow in the trough of despair for a few hours longer. It is, after all, the first half of the twenty-first century blues.
