To Blog or Not to Blog…
…that is the question. After an uncharacteristically long silence, I feel compelled to jot down a few observations on my workouts in general and my body in particular. The main problem is that I really don’t feel like writing. Normally, when it comes to facing the blank white page, I can barely restrain myself from filling it with words. Not so today. Today, the blank page is a barrier - something to be feared and overcome; not a friend beckoning me to sully her pristine beauty with strange marks and cirliques. Still, although the task seems daunting, I throw off the shackles of my mind and spirit and take virtual pen in hand to commit this blog to the digital universe. If I don’t, what I am feeling and thinking today will be lost forever.
I am frustrated with my body. After losing all the bad weight I had put on over the course of a dozen years, my body is in stasis. Having reached the 195 - 200 pound range, my body stubbornly refuses to lose or gain any weight. Believe me, I’ve tried. I think that during the past year, I have tried every method recommended on this site. Nothing; nada; zip; zilch. The scale refuses to budge. This is extremely discouraging. I would dearly like to gain some quality muscle. I have dreams - visions, even! - of a 32 inch waist, topped with a chest straining the tape measure at 47 to 48 inches. I long to have thighs that are the envy of football offensive lineman. Nothing.
Am I getting stronger? You betcha. I can lift way more today than I could a year ago. My endurance has increased exponentially. I can run a 5K race and barely get my pulse rate over 120. I can ride my bike for 100 miles and not feel as though my legs will fall off. I can run the Convention Center stairs and not fall, gasping, to the ground.
Maybe this is it for me. Maybe the physique I have now is the one I am destined to carry to the grave with me. If that is the case, then woe is me! There goes my dream of competing on stage. There goes my desire to have the body I’ve always yearned for. What to do? Do I continue to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Or do I take up arms against my sea of troubles, and by so opposing, end them?
What, if anything, would you do in my place? Thoughts, comments and suggestions are not only welcomed, but are also warmly encouraged.
January 22, 2009 at 10:07 pm
PenteKing,
I just read your most recent blog. I think you need to be happy with what you have accomplished so far. Unfortunately for you it’s your age that is your enemy. Man I just noticed how many "your’s" im throwing in this comment, but wait their’s more, lol. Your body is not producing has much testoterone as it once used to, which is a big reason you’re not getting any bigger. I just saw a documentary on steroids it’s called Bigger, Faster, Stronger. It was a great film! Anyways there was a part in the movie where they showed a big convention in Canada, in which they sell steroids legally, and they call "steroids" anti-aging medicine. It showed alot of people your age at this convention. They talked to a couple people and they justified taking the steroids because they felt like they were 30 years old again. NOW WAIT A MINUTE!!!! Im not condoning steroid use! I personally dont use, because I dont need them, and plus I think there is alot of good NATURAL supplements out on the market, but im not going to lie when I saw the film it makes me wonder if I will choose to use anti-aging medice when I get to your age. Im just being REAL with you here, and this is entirely just my opinion, but if you really want to get bigger and compete you’re going to have to juice:(
January 22, 2009 at 10:36 pm
I feel that everyone is so different, what works for some might not work for your metabolism. Sometimes most people expect "quick results", but quick is a very relative term, quick can be 1 week for some, 1 month for others or many years for most.
As I read on your post my question is : how can we change a metabolism that has a lifetime memory of x number of years, (muscle, energy) in a year, two or ten?
I believe your body has an idea of how long it will take to change and it will get there, but your mind needs to embrace that concept and keep directing it towards your goals.
hope it made some sense, peace, s
January 22, 2009 at 10:51 pm
…this is happening to me too right now!! I finally broke out of a loooong standing plateau..I was so excited and hopeful when it happened…then had to leave my routine and go visit family for a week…during that week I gained 6 lbs and as of now, 2 weeks later, I have lost all but 2 of the lbs…I have done double cardio sessions, cut out carbs after 12:00pm, etc…the weight isn’t budging now!! GRRRRR I am so mad!!!