Time to move on
It was my intention to post my thoughts and feelings on not receiving a response to my public apology (posted here a few days ago). But, even as I crafted the note, I started thinking that what I was doing was insane. I didn’t do anything all that bad. I made a mistake. No one died; no houses were demolished; the course of history wasn’t changed. I offered my apology and it was rebuffed. I can do no more. So, it’s time to wipe the slate clean and to move on.
Today was spinning day, and although Tracy is still on her honeymoon, the class was held, nonetheless. The replacement instructor is a nice enough woman and she is more than competent, but I don’t like her. Her exhortations seemed forced and robotic, as though she’s been programmed to say the very same things, in exactly the same tone of voice, at exactly the same points in the program. It’s not motivating, nor interesting. To me, it sucks all the joy out of the class. I find that I begin to put my head down and focus on the repetitive motion of pedaling. When Tracy leads the class, I imagine myself on a mountain road, under the clear blue skies of a Vermont morning in early autumn. I can feel the wind on my face and the song of the birds in my ears. With Terri, all I hear is the whirring of the fan in the background. It’s just not the same.
I know you’re enjoying your honeymoon, Tracy, and are not thinking about us at all, but I did want to let you know that I, at least, miss you. Hurry back.
